Hissing, I step into the water, closing my eyes against the million little icicles hitting my skin. “Fuck, fuck,” I groan, washing my hair. I started using jasmine scented hair products to feel closer to Silla once we returned to the reform camp. Maybe that’s creepy, but I don’t care.
Washing my body, I bite my lip as I touch the Queen’s brand on my hip. The five of us all have them, a continuous reminder that we belong to Cinder. Swallowing hard, it’s as if the strength disappears in my limbs as I collapse to the ground. I thought Sidney, Ayden, and I were safe here at FRC from the Queen.
We did what she wanted, turned out new assets for her, until we could no longer abide by her demands. If I’m being honest with myself, it’s because we stopped following Cinder’s insane requests, and fell in love with her raven haired stepsister. We started giving a shit about someone other than ourselves, paying the ultimate price.
Our freedom and peace.
Fraternization has never been an issue at FRC, but Cinder took offense that we were filling the coffers of the camp on our own. I also think Silla is a sore point for her, so the brand saystraitor. The five of us received these steaming hot brands on our first night as “guests” of the Queen’s dungeon, all in different places.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper as the memories start to crowd in as I close my eyes.
Silla’s screams are deeply embedded in my brain after I put her in the vent and sealed it to “cure” her of her claustrophobia. I was so stupid, embroiled in my own revenge scheme, all because I felt embarrassed that she rejected me.
We all knew those were our girl’s screams reverberating off the walls of the pits of Hell. Unfortunately, the guards were equally busy with our own torment as they heated our brands.
The intensity of the warmth coming off the iron made me tremble as I fought the guards holding me down.
“If you keep moving I’m going to press this into your pussy, sealing it up forever,” Teye growls as he yanks on my hair, making my back arch, despite the table I’m now strapped down to. “It would be a real shame, too.”
“Leave my sister alone!” Ayden yells before screaming as the brand meets his skin. My eyes prick with tears as the screams of the people I care about explode around the room. It doesn’t seem right to fight when we’re all suffering.
“Okay,” I cry, closing my eyes. “Just… do it.”
“It’s no fun if you don’t fight,” Teye chuckles. The guards stripped us of our clothing the moment they dragged us into this huge chamber. There’s chains hanging from the walls, and it looks like a scene from a horror movie. A giant drain in the middle of the room for blood or water makes it all so much worse. At this moment, I don’t know if we’re meant to leave here alive.
Lying here, naked, on this leather covered table, it’s impossible to tell.
Releasing my hair, Teye’s hand drags down my skin, cruelly squeezing my breasts that are pressed into the cold table.
“Such pretty, untouched skin… It would be cruel not to get a taste,” he chuckles. Slapping my ass, the noise is muffled by the screams as the guards continue to brand their prisoners. Pushing his fingers into my pussy, Teye groans, even though I swear I’m drier than the desert, unless you maybe count Sidney’s cum that may still be inside of me. “So fucking tight too. There will be a day we’ll get to play.” He sighs regretfully as he holds his fingers inside of me. A firm hand holds my ass down, and I’m confused because I’m fairly sure it doesn’t belong to Teye.
And then the brand is pushed down onto my hip, with Teye’s fingers still inside of me, where he roughly fucks me with them as he marks me as a traitor.
Gasping for breath, I sob as I remember the last eleven months. I’m not whole anymore, even if I’m going through the motions of life. There’s a razor Ayden probably dropped on his last shower, because he tends to shave his face in here. Except, picking it up, it looks brand new.
Frowning, I stare at it. My skin is covered in goosebumps, my teeth are chattering, and yet I’m consumed by the razor. Banging the head of the razor on the ground, the blade pops out. Leaning against the cold tile wall, I watch it as if it’ll bite me. It would be so easy, wouldn’t it?
Then maybe I could see Silla again. I miss her so much. My fingers twitch uncontrollably from the cold. I shouldn’t do this, I should be strong. Sobbing, I slowly reach for the blade. I’m tired of being brave, living just within the limits the Queen gives me.
I hear someone yell, but I’m fixated on the shiny, sharp metal as I lift it up. The shower door opens, making me jump as my eyes rise up. Sidney looks at me in agony, shaking his head as he climbs in with me.
“No, Sweetness, don’t do that,” Sidney coos, hissing at the temperature. Making it warmer, he drops to his knees next to me. Somehow, the blade is now at my wrist. Time is moving funny, and I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting on the shower floor. “Please, you can’t leave us. We need you.”
“Why? No one needs this weak person that I’ve become,” I croak, pressing the blade down to watch the blood bead against it.
“I love you. We all adore you. You’re ours, what we went through changed us, but it bound us together too. Please, Andrya,” Sidney begs. He’s holding his hands tightly within the other as if praying, but I know he’s trying not to touch me. I’m on edge, and this blade is sharp as fuck.
“I’m so tired,” I rasp. “The memories, the men… I can’t do this. I can’t live here. I miss her so much…”
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “We couldn’t protect you. We couldn’t help her. We failed you both, but I refuse to let you end things like this. You don’t know that Silla is gone, Baby.”
His words make me angry, and I throw the blade away. Anger is good, it fuels me with fire. “She has to be!” I scream. “If Silla is alive, then she’s still trapped with her step-sister. Cinder is fucking evil. Wouldn’t we have heard her screaming in the dungeon? There wasn’t a single peep from her, Sidney. You can’t live in this fantasy world. It hurts too much.”
Grabbing me, he hoists me into his lap. My teeth chatter, and I’m sure my lips are blue. The hot water burns, though I’m sure that’s due to the change in temperature.
“Life hurts,” Sidney grunts. “It’s part of being alive. We’re here, and we’re damn well going to live it. You and I, we’re connected, Sweetness. I was finishing up in the greenhouse, and I couldfeelsomething was wrong. You’ve been in here for ages, and your lips are bluer than death.”
Standing, he holds me as I cry, shivering as the water runs over us. Sidney doesn’t give two shits that he’s in his clothing, still wearing his shoes. Somehow, he knew I needed him.