Page 111 of Until You (Forgive Me)

P.S. When you sign your rights away later today, it will not be forever. Star has a letter too, but I’ve begged her not to contact you. I have told her you will find her when the time is right. When that happens, tell our daughter about us, about me. I will watch over you all. Until we meet again, my love.

Christian held the letter to his chest as the words blurred. It was so Lily. He could hear her whispering the words in his ear. She must have written it the morning she died. He had signed the papers, and that night, she was gone. He had put her fears for their daughter to rest. He should be angry these letters had only just come to light. But Lily had always believed things happened for a reason. Maybe she was the one who had sealed her journal in an envelope, knowing Star would be too emotional to open it. She knew Star better than anyone. She trusted that even without knowing the truth, Star would never keep him away from his daughter, and she hadn’t. Even when she hated and resented him for what she thought he had done to Lily, she had welcomed him into their lives for Skylar’s sake.

Christian poured himself another whiskey and then another. The pain of the past month and the pain of the past nine years were too raw. He wanted a break, at least for a little while.

Chapter Forty-eight

Isabella

If it was possible for time to feel like it had dragged yet also flown by, that is how the past month felt for Isabella. She had arrived back to a fanfare. Her friends threw her a welcome home party at the hotel where the drama had unfolded. She had smiled through gritted teeth, her heart clamped in a vice that got tighter with every breath. Memories of Christian and their time together flooded her brain everywhere she looked. The only place she had any respite was in her room, a place Christian had never been, so that had become her sanctuary.

“You’re up early,” May said, stepping into the office.

Isabella bit her bottom lip and smiled. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“That seems to be a common occurrence,” May said, handing Isabella a sleeping Kalaya.

Kalaya was now nine months old. She’d been four when Isabella had left, and had grown so much in that time. She’d not remembered Isabella when she returned, so Isabella had spent as much time with the little girl as was physically possible. The perfect distraction.

She hugged Kalaya closer, closing her eyes and breathing in the child’s scent.

“You can’t hide forever,” May said, perching on the side of her desk, her arms crossed over her chest.

“I’m not hiding,” Isabella kept her eyes closed, knowing her friend would see straight through her lies.

“Youarehiding. Annelise told me how happy you and Christian were when she saw you in London. Why are you here? Why are you not still there with him?”

Isabella opened her eyes and stared at her friend. There was no point in lying. “My life is here. My business. You are here, Kalaya, Arkhom, Annelise...”

“But he isn’t. Christian is in England… with your heart.” May held up her hand as Isabella opened her mouth. “I have known you for eight years. You’re my best friend. Only half of you came home on that plane.”

“My heart will mend with time. It did before. It will again,” she said, standing up and moving Kalaya to the cot May had installed in the office while she’d been away. “I have a class. I’ll see you later.”

Isabella closed the door on the way out, but not before she heard May on the telephone. “We have a problem...”

The last thing she wanted to do was worry her friends. She needed to snap herself out of it. It had been a month since she’d left. She and Christian had shared a few messages, but it hurt too much, so she’d asked if they could stop, at least for a little while. There was no point in drawing out the inevitable. Christian was a sexual being. He was not going to be able to sustain a long-distance relationship. Phone sex or video sex was not a substitute for having a physical body next to you. Isabella didn’t think she would cope with him telling her he had met someone new. No, it was better to make a clean break.

Isabella took her class, going through the routines that had become second nature. She talked their guests through a guided meditation, and they all thanked her at the end, but where she had once felt peace, her soul felt empty…lost.

Returning to the office, she found both Annelise and May waiting for her. She dropped her gym bag on the floor and flopped into her seat.

“Is this an intervention?” she asked, staring at the two women she knew so well.

“Of course,” May said. “We need to do something. It’s painful to watch the person we love in so much pain.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better.”

“No, that is not what we mean, and you know it. We want to help, but we don’t know how,” May snapped.

“Time is a great healer,” Isabella said. “All I need is some time. I’ll be back to normal soon. I just need to find out what that new normal is.”

May stepped forward, pulling Isabella out of her chair, her arms wrapping around her. “I love you. I just want you to be happy. However, or whatever that looks like.”

Isabella squeezed her back. “I know. I am sorry, but my heart hurts. It needs time to heal.”

Annelise stepped into the hug, enclosing them both in her arms. “Talk to us, Isabella, please. We want to be here for you.”

“We know you love him. Why aren’t you with him?”

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