Page 37 of Such a Good Girl

Or, maybe this was all a terrible mistake.

Either way, there was no turning back now.

“Once you sign this, there’s no going back,” West said as we entered his office from a different door than before. He grabbed a pen and a single sheet of paper from his desk, and handed it to me.

I read it quickly.

“I release the owners and staff of Profane from all liability from any injuries or trauma that may occur while I am on the premises, up to and including death and dismemberment. I recognize and assert that any and all expenses incurred from any recovery, medical or therapeutic care required due to my time spent at Profane will be paid for entirely by me and that the staff and owners of Profane have no responsibility for such expenses.”

“Wow.” I shook my head. “Will I be injured while working here? Death and dismemberment? Really?”

“Highly unlikely. It’s just our lawyer’s way of covering our asses,” he said. “However, I meant what I said. “Once you sign this waiver, you can’t back out. Do you understand, Rosie?”

His words were solemn, laced with an intensity that matched the flame burning in his dark blue eyes.

Urgent.

Insistent.

As if he was trying to make me understand the enormity of what I was agreeing to.

As if I didn’t know. I almost laughed. He didn’t understand just how ready I was.

I craved excitement with every cell in my body.

Would signing this flimsy piece of paper give me what I desperately needed? I had no idea. But at this point, I was desperate to try anything. Not just to solve the case. That was secondary, as selfish as that sounded.

No, I would sign the waiver to learn about myself at the same time. He’d opened something up in me that I’d become incredibly curious about.

And if my signature — scrawled in blood red ink, bleeding into the pores of the thick white stationery — is what finally opened the door to the depths of pleasure that I suspected resided in the darkest places inside of me, then I was ready to step over that threshold with my head held high. And with my heart open to possibility.

A promise waited there, floating just out of my reach in the shadowy depths of my soul.

An answer to a question I’d searched my soul for. That long journey had finally brought me there, with a pen in my hand and a spark of hope in my heart.

Could I finally be close enough to touch it?

I’d dreamed of this. The ultimate fantasy, an adrenaline rush I’d chased my whole life. It teased me, letting me come so close, only to deny me the chance to touch it. The deepest pleasure. My own darkest desires. I’d been called to seek the truest love I could imagine inside myself.

I knew it existed.

Intoxicating. Hypnotizing. Magical.

Dark.

That siren’s call was always lingering just out of reach.

I was always so close, but never made it. I thought I’d find it in my work, but it was always just out of reach.

Never was it as close as it was now.

Just a few more steps to complete, and all I’d ever desired could be mine.

Gripping the pen with trembling fingers, I scratched my agreement with the enthusiasm of a kid entering a candy store.

Give me all I can eat, I thought.

I wanted to devour everything on offer.

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