Page 50 of Beautiful Beginning

I had to remind her, “I don’t want to beinthe position, I want to advocate for change. From the outside.”

“Semantics dear. With this role, who knows what doors will open for you. You can be on theinsidemaking changes. I’m not as hip to politics as you. But I know it’d be easier for someone to rearrange my furniture if they were inside my house. Not standing outside.” She looked around the table for agreement, “Am I right?”

Of course, it was Taylor, halfway through her drink who co-signed, “I love that analogy, Mrs. Brown.” Then she stared at me. “You gotta be in the house, Chaz.”

Journey and I weren’t connecting on much, but in that moment we did. A shared stare that acknowledged Taylor was a lot. Journey laughed a little and I looked away before I joined her.

“And Journey,” Mama wasn’t done yet, “what do you want to do after college?”

I would have thought she’d set that question aside. Especially, after Taylor responded she wanted to live on a farm and grow shrooms days earlier.

“I hope I can get a job with a notable finance consulting company, move to Neveah City.”

“Neveah City?” Mama wasn’t looking at Journey though. Her eyes were dead set on me. Mama knew a big city was not in my cards. She knew I’d move home before I moved to a big city. Still, she said, “That’s nice. And a financial consulting company. So, you’re good with numbers?”

Journey nodded. “I am. And I know financial literacy will be a game changer for our community. I plan to continue with my volunteer efforts to impact the community on the side.” Journey’s hand rested on top of mine. “Chaz came to help at the community center in Hill Mount one day. Good experience, right Chaz?”

“Oh Carter, we should be like them. We need to volunteer. Help the community.” Taylor was at the bottom of her drink. But with or without drinks, Taylor was the same.

“Yeah.” Carter groaned. “Sounds good.”

Daddy piped up. “Journey, you must be something. You got that guy to volunteer his efforts around people?”

I huffed. “What does that mean?”

The entire table laughed. But Taylor laughed the hardest.

“We all know you hate peopling, son.” Dad had a point.

“It was for a good cause,” I told them.

After dinner, we rode to my house with Carter and Taylor. Journey and I didn’t have time to catch up. Not with Taylor turned all the way around in her seat throwing a hundred questions at Journey.

Journey was a champ though, she responded like none of it bothered her. When we were in the house, she said, “I need a moment.”

“From one inquisition to another. I bet you do.” I pointed to the stairs and told her. “We can go to my room.”

“Are your parents okay with me staying here, or should I—”

I walked up a few steps and looked down to her. “My mom wouldn’t have it any other way.”

There was a soft smile on her face as she nodded and followed behind me. “Are you okay with me being here?” She asked as we stepped into my room, and I closed the door behind us.

I wrapped her in my arms at first. Inhaled her scent and felt the warmth of her body. I missed it more than I had words to express. But still, I wondered why she surprised me. “Curious about why you are here. Thought you wanted to be home.”

She sat at the edge of my bed. Took in the light gray walls, the framed pictures, and green comforter. It looked nothing like the room of my childhood. In fact, I couldn’t find one thing remaining in that room from back then. Mama told me once I left she was upgrading her house. The posters, and random books I had filling my room had to go.

“Christmas wasn’t what I expected…” she cringed. “Or what it’s been in the past. Selling the house, moving things out, it was somber. I wanted to be somewhere comforting.” She rubbed her hands down her arms. “Somewhere I wasn’t reminded of everything that is falling apart.”

I sat beside her and stared. Placed a hand on her cheek and rubbed along the edge of her chin. “Journey, I told you before. I don’t want to be the person you come to when nothing else works for you. I want to be here for the good and the bad, but it’s starting to seem like you only come to me when all else fails.”

She shook her head. “I’ll admit, this hasn’t gone the way I would want it to. We’ve talked about that. And I apologize for making you feel like the last option. Because you are far more than that to me.” A heavy sigh escaped her mouth. “Chaz, I love you.”

“Shit.” That wasn’t what I should have said. But the blow that hit my chest, knocked the wind from me. It was like stubbing a toe. Unexpected, except it wasn’t painful. It felt right. “Wow.”

Journey laughed. “I hope that’s a good shit, and a better wow.”

I pulled her head toward mine and rested my lips on hers. Nudged her toward my bed and spread her legs. “I can show you better than I can tell you how amazing that made me feel.” I looked up to her before inching the hem of her sweater up her stomach.

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