Page 43 of Beautiful Beginning

“Lauren let me in before she left for class.” Her cheeks warmed, as she looked from me to Chaz.

“Ugh…” Chaz looked down at me. “I should go?”

“I drove,” I whispered between gritted teeth. “Come on let’s sit.”

His eyes widened and he didn’t move at first. I wrapped my fingers in his and walked him to the couch. “Mom.” I took a long deep breath and said, “This is Chaz. Who I told you about during Thanksgiving.”

She stood and outstretched her hand. “Chaz, pleasure to meet you.” Their eyes connected and it was like he waskissing babies again.He was in politician mode, ready to say what was necessary to get the vote.

“Sorry, it’s like this.” His smile faded. “I can give you some time to talk. Journey, I can go in your room?”

“No, please sit.” Mom’s smile was menacing as she took her seat on the couch. “I’d love to talk to you for a minute.”

Chaz sat in the chair across from her. His hands crossed on his lap.

“I hear you’re SGA president, with political ambitions.” She gave him a tight-lipped smile. “That’s amazing. What made you want to do political science?”

“Watched too much news as a kid.” There was a nervous laugh filling the room I never heard before. “Started asking why things were the way they were. Eventually understood our politicians had a lot to do with it.”

Mom’s head nodded and I could tell her brain was churning a barrage of questions to follow up with. But there wasn’t time for all that. If she drove six hours totalk to meit had to be serious.

“Mom, why are you here?” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I mean, it’s not like we are down the street from each other.” I stared into her eyes to find something. Anything that would give me a clue into what she was thinking. I found nothing.

“You’re right. It isn’t.” She laughed. An uneasy laugh that sounded much like Chaz’s did minutes earlier. “It’s longer than I remembered it once I hit the highway. After not breaking the divorce news to you myself, I felt I should be the one to tell you I’m selling the house.”

There was the other storm I anticipated. It didn’t rock the boat as much as I thought it would. Maybe after the initial one, the others were tolerable. The water never went back to calm anyway.

“Wow, okay. That is news. But you could have called. I would have been okay, Mom.”

Her chest heaved, and her eyes went to the ceiling. I felt the onslaught of the next storm coming before the boat started rocking.

“I could have, but I know this has all been challenging. At least for me, it’s been devastating. And” she cleared her throat as a tear trickled down her cheek, “I’m moving back home for a while.”

“Home? A while?”

Mom’s hometown wasn’t close to Hill Mount. Or Lake Side. She’d be further away from me. Further away from Dre and Monroe too. Far away from Daddy. I clenched my eyes closed because I guess that was the point.

“I need to take some time to figure me out. For so long, I’ve been a mother. A wife. I haven’t been only me in a while.” That’s when the tears cascaded down her face.

A few down mine too. I mouthed, “I’m sorry,” to Chaz.

He shook his head. “You know what…” He stood from his seat. “I’m hungry. Are you two hungry?” He looked between the two of us. “I’ll treat.” He held up a hand. “Take a minute to decide, I’ll run to the bathroom. Journey,” he looked down the hallway, “do you mind?”

I shook my head. “Second door on the left.”

Mom wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Other than what was about to go down if I wasn’t here.” She laughed. “Chaz seems like a very nice guy. I’m happy for you.” There was a bright smile that quickly faded. “Me and your father were crazy in love like that at one point. When we were here on campus. Our future felt bright. Was bright until recently.” She bit the side of her lip. “I don’t want you to fall into the same disillusionment. Things can be perfect and still not end up where you expect them.”

With weight on my chest I said, “I’m trying hard to allow myself to enjoy whatever it is now. Not get too caught up on what it could be later.” I clarified, “I was about to make that mistake. I won’t do that.”

Her hand landed on my knee. “Good. I don’t want to see you hurt. Ever.”

Chaz made his way back to the living room, clapped his hands and asked, “Lunch?”

Mom looked at me and nodded. “Better fill my belly and take a nap before I get on the road again.” She asked, “Is that okay with you, Journey?”

“That’s fine with me, Mom.” I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug.

Chaz blurted, “Can I get in on that too?”

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