Page 38 of Beautiful Beginning

“So?” I searched her eyes.

“Give me time. Let me get myself together.”

“Time. I can give you that.” I couldn’t ask her how much she needed. Or what we’d do in the meantime. Because that wasn’t much different than her asking me if we would be together after college. They both were in the future. And if I wasn’t willing to rub the crystal ball, I couldn’t ask her to either.

ChapterSeventeen

Journey

Watching Whitley and Dwayne on a constant loop wasn’t ideal. There were other shows I could watch to keep me from the edge of despair. Their love reminded me that my parents’ didn’t last. Their cute banter made me miss Chaz. I pulled the covers up to my chin and buried my head into the pillows. A week since I saw him at the lake, and I still couldn’t decide if I wanted to appease present me, or torture me of the future.

Chaz didn’t sound sure of us. Certain of what could be. And if he wasn’t definite, what was the point? If he dropped to one knee at the lake, I couldn’t guarantee I’d say yes. But would I want him to pull out a ring one day? I could see things going that way. And that’s all I wanted. I wanted him to see things progressing.

My door creaked open. I took my eyes off the TV long enough to look at Nia and Lauren standing beside each other. Both dressed in cute, wintery outfits, makeup done to perfection. Meanwhile, I wore my favorite sweats and a free t-shirt I got from a campus swag bag.

“We’ve decided.” Nia had a stern look on her face. “You’re coming with us.”

Lauren chipped in, “We only have a few months before we finish college. What would we look like letting you waste another day in here sulking? So,” she stepped closer and yanked the covers from the bed, “get up and get dressed.”

“For what?” I groaned. My body settled into the chill of the apartment. “I’m getting to the good part.” I pointed to the TV.

“The fact you know you are getting to the good part is point enough for you to get your butt up. You’ve watched these episodes a million times. You can miss it.” Nia grabbed the remote from my nightstand and clicked the TV off. “Come on. If you take too long I’m making you buy us drinks to make up for missing happy hour.”

“With what money?” I laughed.

She smirked. “Exactly.” She slid my closet door open then said, “You take a shower and I’ll find an outfit.”

I was reluctant, but I climbed off my bed because there was no escaping the two of them when they grew determined. “I’ll be quick.”

Lauren shouted, “You better,” to the closing door.

One look at my face in the mirror let me know I’d been neglecting myself for days. My hair was all over my head, I needed to exfoliate my face, and my eyebrows needed some love. Still, I did the best I could with the time I had.

“What am I wearing?” I stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around me.

Nia pointed to a sweater dress, and I wagged my head. After pulling it on, I started to feel better. Not great, but better.

The club we ended up at had plenty of people. Or distractions as Nia deemed them. She sipped from her cup then shouted, “This whole idea of finding a man to leave college with is a terrible idea.”

I swirled my cup but didn’t respond because I was starting to agree. But I wasn’t ready to admit it yet.

“Look at all these guys.” Lauren waved her hand around us. “You won’t get this much melanin when you leave.” She sucked her teeth. “This much intelligence and sexiness in one room.” Her head shook side to side as she gazed across the room. “There’s no way you need to be stuck on one guy when you can have many.” She raised her cup into the air. “I propose a toast…”

I hesitated because the last time she proposed a toast, it wasto a night of no cares. She had me bent over on the dance floor.And the night ended with my head hung to the side of a toilet. It was after our last exam of junior year. Lauren suggested we thoroughly enjoy ourselves. And we did.

“To a night of…” she eyed my cup, and I raised it. “No expectations.”

There was a smug look on my face before I tipped my cup back and gulped whatever remained.No expectations.

No expectations were great, but I argued after another drink, “I like Chaz though. I want to expect he likes me too.”

A guy beside me leaned in closer, “My name isn’t Chaz. But I can like you.”

Nia looked at him and fell into uncontrollable laughter. Even after a few drinks I managed to hold mine back. To look at him seriously and say, “I don’t know if you can compete.”

The look on his face let me know he was willing to try. And he was kinda cute. In a rough and rugged way. With a good edge up he would hold much more potential.

“I need another drink,” I yelled to Lauren, “Grab the bartender.”

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