Page 36 of Beautiful Beginning

“How are you? Outside of this, I know it’s a blow. Hence why I told your big-mouthed sister to wait till you came home for the holidays.”

I pulled into a parking spot at the apartment and blurted. “Thank God, I would have had Chaz with me. How embarrassing that would have been.” I closed my eyes when I realized my error.

“Chaz. What kind of name is Chaz? And who the hell is that? You bringing someone home I never heard of. What kind of shit?”

I shut him up quickly. “You were keeping our parents’ divorce a secret. Think we are even.”

He was quiet. “Oh, you defending it. Must be serious. He treating you right?”

“He’s amazing. Our relationship is everything I ever wanted it to be.” I laughed. “Except what I’ve always wanted I based on Mom and Dad. Whitley and Dwayne too. So, guess I have a 50/50 chance of it working now.” Telling Dre about the bad was unnecessary. There was no sense in getting him fired up about nothing he could control. Then I realized. It was what my parents did to me. Hid the bad.Fuck.

Dre laughed. “Whitley and Dwayne are a fake couple. Sounds like you need to set your own relationship goals. Based on whatyouneed.”

I stared at my reflection in the windshield. “I guess you’re right.”

Before we hung up he said, “Have I ever been wrong?”

ChapterSixteen

Chaz

Seeing my family for Thanksgiving usually left me refreshed. Knowing Journey was at home dealing with the end of her parents’ marriage, I stayed on edge. Every phone call from her I anticipated the worst. Expected to hear tears, pain, anguish. And when I did, it unnerved me.

I couldn’t get back to campus soon enough. Paced the apartment, clutched my phone in my hands, waited for her to call me. All I wanted to do was hold her in my arms. Lay her in my bed, remind her what lovefelt like…

Love.

Carter joked that’s what I was feeling when he saw me moping around back home. He, and the rest of my family, mentioned how little I ate. How I shuffled my food around the plate. Joked I’d typically be on plate number two. Said my lost appetite must have meant something. Something more than a littlelike.

I denied love. Said it was me missing Journey. Because we weren’t at love yet. But had her parents not dropped a bomb on her before the holidays, I would have gladly buttoned up a shirt to meet them. To spend the few days away from campus with her.

I didn’t think Journey and I were there yet because I didn’t put much thought into it. Logically, how could I love her if I didn’t think about it? Isn’t love something that should be on my mind non-stop? In the morning when I woke up she was the first person I wanted to talk to. And before bed the person I needed to hear before closing my eyes. Butlovewasn’t on my mind. The word didn’t threaten to fall from my lips, and I wasn’t plotting different ways I could express it to her.

And Journey. Although she wanted me to join her on the trip back home, she didn’t mention it either. So, I didn’t think we were there yet. Around the corner, down the street, a block over, but not there.

My phone rang, instead of vibrating, and fell to the ground when I jumped. “Hello,” I rushed without looking at the screen after picking it up.

“Hey.” Her voice was softer than usual. Her chipper cheerleader enthusiasm disappeared sometime before the break. I hoped it would return after the trip, but I guess not.

“Are you back?” I asked.

“Yeah, pulled up a few minutes ago. I want to see you.”

The words tugged on my chest. Somewhere near the middle.

“Journey, I want to see you too.” The way I wanted to see her involved skin on skin, body to body, my lips on hers. “Do you want to come over?”

“Can we go somewhere?” Wasn’t what I expected her to ask.

“Sure.” I hesitated but didn’t put too much thought into it. “Hungry?”

“No, not really.”

I didn’t want to waste time figuring it out. “I’m on my way.”

“Okay.”

The drive to her apartment was unusually long. Every light between my place and hers turned red as I approached. Sitting and waiting felt like torture on the grandest scale. I would have sat in a crowded room with random people if the lights would turn green for me.

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