Page 31 of Beautiful Beginning

He yelled, “Ah hell,” as we walked out the apartment.

But as we neared the restaurant he told me, “You know, I’m a little nervous.”

I looked at him sideways.

“Journey changed your whole life.” He patted his chest like he lost something. “I’m not sure I’m ready for my whole life to change. What if one of them puts a hex on me, like she did you?”

I hit his shoulder. “Chill, man.”

We both laughed. And when we got inside, I searched for Journey. Tried to find one of her roommates, or other girls from the cheer squad. When I found Journey, there was a group of people surrounding her. They took up the entire back half of the restaurant.

“Is that your girl waving over there?” Marcus stood close behind me. “Thought it was only her and her homegirls? That looks like half the football team and the whole lineup of cheerleaders.”

The hostess looked a little perturbed as she pulled two menus. She said, “Let me guess, you’re with them?”

“Ugh, yeah?” I gulped. “Guess so.”

As we neared the table, the hostess dropped our menus at the only two empty seats. Next to some of the guys, and far away from Journey. I pulled my seat out and stared at my menu.

“Man, what kind of shit is this?” Marcus mumbled as we sat.

I eyed Journey because although I didn’t say it, I agreed with Marcus. She slid her hand in the air and waved again. I regretted the fact I decided to be on my begging shit the night before. I could have left the restaurant and caught up with her later. When there weren’t as many people around.

But when Journey stood, her tight-fitting, navy dress hugging all her assets I couldn’t go anywhere. She walked toward me, inching through the crowded space and finally made her way beside me. She kissed my cheek before turning to the guy beside me.

“Can we switch seats?” Her voice was syrupy, and I hated she needed it to convince his ass to move.

“Yeah, you got it,” he said before standing and taking a different, less constricted route to the other seat.

“I thought…” I leaned in closer to her ear, “this was only going to be you and a few homegirls.”

She narrowed her eyes. “It is, and a few of our homeboys.”

Her use of the wordfewmade me cringe.

“I mean we aren’t all together.” Her neck strained behind her. “But here together. You know?”

I didn’t know. But I let the topic slide. At the end of the day, it didn’t matter. Marcus concerned himself with some chick across from him. Her roommates were on the other end of the table. So, I considered the two of us alone, as much as that was possible.

I tried to ask, “What are you having?” But Journey started a conversation with the chick across from her. I stared at the menu instead. Trying to find something to order. As soon as the server came around, I asked, “Could I get the shrimp and grits?”

She had to shout over everyone talking to tell me they were all out.

I fidgeted with the menu and sighed. “Alright, a stack of pancakes.”

She shook her head regrettably. “Out.”

“Damn,” I said, and Journey looked at me.

Her eyebrows were tight and her eyes searching mine.

My back and forth continued with the server until I ended up with an All-American breakfast. Something I could have made at the apartment for a lot less than what they were charging.

Journey’s hand rubbed my leg and she asked, “You good?”

I wiped a hand against my beard. Marcus had no problem conversing with the people around him. Journey looked at ease carrying on with the people surrounding her. Me, it felt like I was on an island without a soul to talk to. Not because nobody would listen, but because it felt strange. “I’m not into big gatherings like you. I guess—”

Her eyes flickered around the table. Like she mentally took count of everyone seated. Then she said, “Sorry. Next time, I won’t include you if there will be a lot of people.” But it wasn’t in a way that was comforting to me, much more discouraging for her.

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