Page 54 of Accidentally on Purpose

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“Is Decker on his way?”

I looked up from my phone, staring at the message I’d just sent him as though I’d sent a bullet through the text.

You don’t have to come over tonight. I’m telling Mom the truth. Thank you for everything.

I had to cut it off—cut everything off. A clean break otherwise I was going to die from a slow bleed.Death by a thousand cutsaccording to Dr. Taylor Swift. My flight was tomorrow, and by the time we got home from Mom’s appointment earlier, I knew I wouldn’t make it.

I wouldn’t make it if I had to see him one more time.

If I had to feel his hand brush mine or that smile of his coast my way.

I wouldn’t survive if I had to kiss him one more time for fake’s sake.

So, I was cutting all ties in the least harmful way I knew how.

I lowered my phone and walked from the kitchen into the living room where Mom was back in her chair, reruns ofFriendsplaying on the screen. She smiled at me expectantly, and before I could talk myself out of it, I ripped the Band-Aid off.

“Decker’s not coming over tonight.”

“Oh, is he—”

“We’re not together, Mom.”

“What?” she cried out. “What happened? You two were so happy—”

The stricken look on her face mirrored the hollowness in my chest. “It wasn’t real.”

“What are you talking about, Reese? Of course, it was real, I saw—”

“Decker’s not really my boyfriend, Mom. He never was,” I blurted out, the whole sordid truth tumbling out. “He was just the mechanic who showed up when my rental started leaking coolant. He offered to bring me to the house, and when we got here and you thought he was my boyfriend…I didn’t correct you. And then I asked him to pretend.” I inhaled raggedly. “I lied about having a boyfriend in the city, and I thought it would be easier for Decker to play the part while I was here. You were recovering, and I didn’t want to upset you, but I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t want a boyfriend—don’t need a man. I have enough in my life to be happy, I don’t need love.” I exhaled deeply. “I’m sorry.”

Mom stared at me, her eyes glazing over with tears that I expected for a long moment before her shoulders slumped.

“Oh, Reese. This is all my fault,” she said as the tears started to fall.

“No, Mom. Don’t say that.” I shook my head and went to her side, crouching down next to her chair. “It’s not your fault. It was my stupid idea—”

“No, not that.” She waved her hand at me. “I knew about that—”

I froze. “What?”

She reached for a tissue, and it was the longest second of my life waiting for her to explain.

“I’ll admit, those drugs took me for quite a trip, but I knew that second day that Decker wasn’t really your boyfriend,” she admitted.

I reeled and reached for the wall, needing something to stabilize me.All this time…she knew.

“How?”

“You don’t think I know when you’re lying to me?”Mom let out a sad laugh. “Honey, it was just as transparent to me as that day on Jenny Lake when you told me your lunch fell overboard.”

My jaw dropped.

“I know you gave it to that little boy in your class who didn’t have a lunch.”

I sucked in a breath, the memory coming back to me as vividly as if I’d gone back in time. We’d run into a boy from my class at the edge of the water. Timmy Fleming. Mom and I didn’t have a lot, but I always went to school with a sandwich even if it was peanut butter and jelly most of the time; it was more than what some kids had—like Timmy. It wasn’t until I was older that I learned about Timmy’s mom’s struggles with drugs and addiction; all I knew at that age was that Timmy rarely came to school with a lunch, so I would give him some of mine.

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