Page 106 of A Little Twist

I do not expect to bump into Jessica loading her white Camry in the driveway. Pulling my car to the side, I walk up slowly, stopping when she slams the trunk and starts for the driver’s side door.

“Are you leaving?” I’m guessing she already told Alex and Penelope goodbye.

“Oh! Cass.” She puts a hand on her chest. “You startled me.”

“Sorry. Looks like I got here just in time to say goodbye.”

“Yeah, I’m headed to the airport.” She shrugs. “I can honestly say I tried.”

I’m not sure how to respond to that. “Alex mentioned you were headed to Afghanistan? It sounds like really important work.”

“I didn’t think he approved of my decision.”

“I think he doesn’t understand your decision.” I’m doing my best to be diplomatic.

“I’m sure he’s never had to try.” She exhales a disgusted laugh. “No one makes a big deal when a man pursues his dreams, but let a woman do it and no one understands.”

Chewing my lip, I carefully reply, “I think it’s more about having a daughter and being a part of her life.”

She crosses her arms, leaning against the car to face me. “When I was pregnant, Alex and I had this conversation. The world is on fire, hatred is out of control, society is breaking down. Bringing a child into this mess is selfish, but that’s just my opinion.”

“Yes, it is.” An edge is in my tone, but I’m doing my best to stay cordial.

I don’t want a combative relationship with Pinky’s mom, but broken world or not, I wouldn’t trade that little girl for anything.

“Well, those problems still exist, and I can’t live with myself if I sit at home and do nothing about them.” She pushes off the car. “I have to shine a light.”

“I think raising an honest, responsible, kind human is another way to shine a light.”

“She’s only one. I can reach thousands with what I’m doing.”

Nodding, I look down at my feet. “Have you ever heard the starfish story?”

“About how it made a difference for that one? Yeah, I’ve heard it, and I get it. That life just isn’t for me.” Walking around to get in her car, she pauses. “I’m glad my daughter has you.”

“I’m not sure you’ll be able to call her your daughter if you leave.” I think about my own feelings about my mother and the way she left me behind for her dreams.

“I guess I’m one of those people who aren’t meant to be mothers.” She pulls the car door open. “I have to make the world a better place in my own way.”

I think how lonely her life would be to me, and sadness fills my chest. And I remember she and I are very different people. I remember my conversation with Martha, and I realize I’m here, and Alex and Pinky are already my family.

“Good luck.” My voice is calm.

With a resigned smile, she’s gone.

* * *

Pinky is unusuallyquiet throughout our entire shopping trip, even when I showed her the Miss Piggy lunchbox and pencils with feathers on the tips.

My mind immediately went to her mother leaving, since that was my experience, and on the way back to Eureka from our road trip to the nearest big box store, she fell asleep in her booster seat, giving us a chance to talk.

My hand is threaded in Alex’s, and I glance back to be sure she’s sleeping. “Did you ever tell her who Jessica really is?”

The muscle in his sexy square jaw tightens. “I didn’t see the point. She left without even saying goodbye, so why bother?”

“She didn’t say goodbye?” My eyes go wide.

“If you hadn’t told me, I wouldn’t have known until we started looking for her.”

---