Page 26 of Anger

Turning back to have Blue in view, I admire her dancing again. She may not know shit about me, but she definitely knows how to move.

Sliding my eyes to the manager guarding her cage, he watches her with the same intensity. I wonder about what’s really going on between them, and if a bitch he thinks is loyal just flashed her tits to me last night.

Wouldn’t surprise me. Red has been the only example in my life of a woman worth a shit, and that turned into a hellscape of epic fucking proportions.

I doubt there’s a woman alive now who can convince me that any of them mean what they say or give the first fuck about how they affect people.

Maybe I’m being unfair.

It’s not that Red didn’t care.

She simply made a choice to dismiss Ezra and me.

The blow to my heart was my fault for giving a shit in the first place, for believing there was somebody out there who could love the fucked-up mess I’ve become.

I can’t blame Red. Not entirely. I know the problems I have are more than any person can tolerate.

I guess I’ll just remain homeless.

Unloved.

Fucking alone and trapped in whatever cage my life has built for me.

There is no way in hell I’ll let anybody breach those walls again just to tear my heart from my chest and toss it in my face.

It doesn’t stop me from watching Blue, though. But then I’m not here to fall in love.

I’m here to forget.

To be numb.

To escape memories that refuse to stop haunting me.

The music changes as I lift the beer to my mouth and swallow down what’s left. It’s a slower beat, the music darker.

My eyes remain locked to Blue’s body as her dance transitions with the music, my gaze an easy slide up and down as I memorize her shape, the way she moves, a set of tits and full hips that lure me in like nothing I’ve ever felt before.

I’ve seen a lot of beautiful women in.my day, but Blue takes the cake. She’s exactly what I’ve always envisioned as the perfect female form.

All guys are different in what they want, in what attracts them, in what seduces them until they’re feral.

And Blue was created from the exact mold that calls to everything male inside me.

Just like last time, her eyes are closed as she gyrates those hips and her body moves like she’s fucking. I keep staring, not giving a damn about anybody around me or the environment itself.

I’m more than just fascinated by her; I’m obsessed, and I keep having to remind myself that she’s just a distraction.

But the weird part — the fact that probably makes me insane — is that I don’t want to worship the siren who is up there dancing.

I want to destroy her.

Rip her the fuck apart.

Her mind, her heart, her soul.

All of it.

Just because I hate being so alone in the misery of my life.

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