Page 75 of A Throne of Blood and Ice

I think she’s afraid of me.

She shouldn’t be.

She is the monster and I am the sheep and my baby is the lamb she stole out from under me.

“Consider this an opportunity, Blaise. To turn your life around.”

I don’t have the energy to open my mouth in response.

Clarissa sighs, then lets out a long breath. “There’s a deal to be made here. I see now that I underestimated how much being separated from your child would affect you. I thought you would be happy for the child. For the life I’ve offered it. But I see now that your motherly instincts were more deeply rooted than I assumed. So I’m willing to offer you this: work in service for the king, help me pay off your father’s debts, and I will tell you which family took the child in.”

“You sold my baby.”

“Pardon me.”

“You. Sold. My. Baby.” I’ve been working through it in my head, churning it over and over, and it occurred to me exactly why Clarissa did it. Why she does everything. “You saw an opportunity to buy another fancy dress, so you sold my baby to a wealthy family.”

Clarissa scoffs. “Believe me, if I could have fetched a good sum for your child, I wouldn’t be in this predicament now.”

“You already spent it. You already spent my baby’s money.”

“It’s not your baby any longer,” Clarissa snaps. “As I said before, you’d be better off remembering that. Now, you can lay there and sulk, wasting away the rest of your life, or you can make something of yourself. You can see this as the freedom it is. I saved you, child. You may not recognize it now, but one day, when you’re grown and married off to a wealthy nobleman who wouldn’t have looked twice at a girl with an illegitimate child, you’ll thank me.”

I say nothing, and she waits for a response, but it doesn’t come.

“If you want to see your baby so badly, do as I say. Prove to me you can help get me and the girls out from under the debt your father left us. Consider it your repayment, and I’ll reward you with the knowledge of where the child lives.”

Footsteps shuffle and there’s a click of the door shutting.

Only then do I allow myself to burst into tears.

Evander’s lettercomes later that day.

Dearest no-good little Blaise,

Won’t you do me and Jerad a favor and come back to the castle? Life’s utterly dull without you here getting into trouble and making us laugh. For all the good you’ve done to loosen our dear Jerad’s stoicism, I’m afraid he’s slipping back into his old ways in your absence.

Seriously, Blaise. I know it’s not ideal. It’s not exactly what Jerad and I fought our father for, but it’s the best we could get him to agree to. We miss having you around. Olwen’s back from her schooling abroad for the mooncycle, and I fear Jerad and I cannot bear her insolence without you.

Love,

Andy

I hugthe tear-stained letter to my chest and cry until I fall asleep. When I wake, my hands are empty, and the letters are gone.

On my bedside table is a note that says:

Silly servant girl,only princesses get happy endings.

It’s only thenthat I notice the pile of ashes left on my floor.

CHAPTER25

BLAISE

By the time Nox comes to fetch me that night, I’ve bathed as much as is feasible in my little dungeon cell.

And by bathed, I mean I’ve wiped myself down with a terrycloth rag and water from the basin I’m supposed to be drinking from.

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