Page 129 of A Throne of Blood and Ice

“She made me kiss you that night. She made me kiss you, even after I realized who she was.”

Something cracks, and when I look down, there’s crumbled marble in my fist from where I’ve clenched the edge of the dais too hard.

“And?”

“And time ran out for her, thank the Fates,” Nox half-breathes, and the residue of crushed marble in my palms pours onto the ground as my fingers relax slightly.

“But before I left, she made me forget. At least, she made be believe it was a dream. She told me to find a way to unbind her from her curse, the one sealed by the moon. Part of her command was for me to believe I was finding a way to extract her from you, but the whole time, I was working to enslave you.”

“You didn’t know,” I say because it’s true, and because it’s about the only thing grounding me to this dais right now.

“I should have known.”

Most males’ gazes would be downcast at such an admission, but not Nox’s. Instead, he pierces me with those strikingly pale eyes of his, refusing to relieve himself of the punishment of looking me in the face.

“I seem to remember saying something similar the night you showed me the aurora. Do you remember what you said to me then?” I can’t seem to get the emotion to poke through the callus scabbed over my voice, but the thought is made in earnest.

He nods in understanding, then swallows. “That you couldn’t have known. That your mind wasn’t ready to know.”

“She had no right,” I say, and he nods at that too. “But from what I can tell, she doesn’t have permanent control of my body, and I think I’d like an explanation of what’s happened to me now.”

My words are flat, but they prick my heart all the same. Like the feeling of tears pooling in my lids, except they’re collecting over my heart like acid rain.

Nox sighs. “When Cinderella offered me your wrist, it was your blood I consumed, not hers. She could still control me in the body she preferred, she just couldn’t change your blood. But there were unintended consequences. Though you couldn’t remember it, it was—is—your blood that holds sway over me, Blaise. I hadn’t realized it, probably because of the way I feel about you, but I’ve done whatever you’ve asked of me since that night.”

I crinkle my nose, and it must be the first expression I’ve made since waking up that actually looks like me, because something like relief huffs from Nox’s parted lips.

“That can’t be true. You’re never listening to me,” I say, and I can almost hear an echo of teasing in the lilt of my voice. Almost.

Nox shakes his head, crossing his arms as he leans against the counter. “Think about it. The night I lost control and drank from your neck, you told me to stop and I did.”

My heart gives a painful little lurch. I had assumed Nox had beaten through the barriers for a moment, that the weight of what he felt for me had provided him the strength he needed to make a single grasp at control. But it was a foolish thought. The type of thought made by girls who fancied princes could love them.

“I told you to stop,” I say, remembering the way Nox had looked confused when he’d done as I asked.

It hits me then that I could have saved him—could have saved Gunter, had I only asked Nox not to harm him, not to harm me.

One glance at Nox tells me he’s already realized this himself.

We carry on, neither of us wishing to tread that territory, the implications of it yet.

I frown, because there’s something not fitting together, and Nox answers my question before I have to ask.

“The ritual worked. Not as we intended, but as she intended. It freed her from her tie to the moon. It would have meant she inhabited your body permanently.”

His stare is icy now, cold. As if he’s waiting for me to make the connections myself. Like he’s back to giving me lectures on elemental magic or the properties of moonstone or…

I want you to snap my neck if that ever happens.

A cracking sound. A sharp pain; over so quickly it’s as if it never happened.

And then nothing. Darkness and dreams and Nox burning and our children screaming and Ellie dead.

And me.

So very hungry.

It’s then that I realize what the coppery liquid inside the flask was. What few drops still seem to whisper my name as I try to focus.

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