Page 16 of Why Not Me?

Ignoring the text, I flip my phone over and glance over at him. He’s stirring his oatmeal over and over, lost in thought.

When he feels my gaze, he meets my eyes and his expression clears. “So, we need to talk about the elephant in the room.” He smiles, pushing his half-finished bowl of oatmeal away.

My heart picks up, but his expression is teasing, so I tilt my head confused. “Elephant?”

“Your birthday. I’ve already confirmed with Blake and Dawn. Monique is out of town, but your parents are free. I’m still waiting to hear from my family.” He takes a sip of his coffee, watching my face. I try to give him a look of excitement, but I’m sure he sees right through it. “Is there anyone I’m missing?”

Chewing on my lower lip, I release it and take a deep breath. It’s asking a lot, but maybe this will be a good thing, because one thing Landon never did was put me and Melissa in the same room, maybe it would have created a different situation, there would have been more of a connection and I would’ve been able to walk away. “I’d like to invite Landon, if that’s okay with you?”

I don’t release his gaze, but he stands up to go dump out the rest of his breakfast into the compost bucket. His voice is a little sharper than usual when he finally replies, his gaze locked on the backsplash above the sink, “Of course. It’s your birthday party.”

I watch him. I know Brendan would never tell me I can’t be friends with someone, he’s not that type of guy, but I also need him to be honest with me about where he’s at, and right now, I can’t really read what he’s feeling.

He saw me after Landon ended things. He knows how hurt I was and he knows how much effort it took for me to trust him. Things have gone well for us over the last six years, we haven’t hit any major bumps in the road.

Standing, I set my bowl on the counter and wrap my arms around him, pressing myself into his back. I talk into his shirt, careful of how to approach this. “Regardless, I know you’re not entirely comfortable with our friendship.”

He turns to face me, pressing his lips to my forehead. We stand together for a few minutes, my arms tight around him before he leans away.

I can’t imagine how I would react if I was in his shoes, maybe I would be okay with it, maybe I wouldn’t, but the part of me that knows I’m not being fair to Brendan is overshadowed by the connection Landon and I share.

If Brendan tells me right now he’s uncomfortable, I will listen. If he tells me right now he wants me to cut ties with Landon, I will.

The idea of not seeing Landon again is painful, only eased by the fact Brendan will never tell me I can’t spend time with someone, no matter who it is.

“I don’t know him. Maybe having him at your party is a good idea.” He sounds upbeat, but I can see the wheels turning in his head. I can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking, but maybe once he has time to think it through, he will fill me in.

I grin at him, running my fingers through his hair as I press a light kiss to his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Glancing at the time, I quickly jot Landon’s number down before putting my coat on. Brendan comes to the door, kissing me before I leave.

I try not to overthink the fact that Brendan is calling him, so I busy myself with searching for funny pictures to send to Brendan throughout the day.

He’s been there for me every single day, even when he had nothing to gain.

I’m staring at the wooden desk in front of me, avoiding the pitying gazes of my classmates. I look like I was in a fight, the bruises under my eyes from not sleeping more pronounced with each day that goes by.

I’m shattered. I made the mistake of stalking Landon’s social media profiles last night and he looks—happy. There weren’t any photos of him with Melissa, but she was commenting on them like crazy. It sent me spiraling. I haven’t been able to sleep well in four months. My dreams full of different scenes playing out, all mocking me for my foolishness.

Movement in the seat next to me catches my eye. Glancing to my side, I see Brendan glance at me and smile when he meets my gaze. He’s sat next to me every day since the beginning of this semester.

We’ve worked on a few projects together and have become friends. Somehow, he manages to make me smile.

He holds up a finger before leaning down to dig through his bag. I watch him, curious, but I can’t see what he’s doing.

“Hey, I have something for you.” He smiles at me, his expression nervous as he pulls his hands out from behind his back and presents me with a stuffed penguin.

It’s incredibly soft, the pads of my fingers smoothing the fluffy material. Looking up at him, I cradle it to my chest and smile. Once again, he just knew today would be a day I needed cheering up. How does he always know?

“Thank you, Brendan. I love him.”

A weight lifts from my chest as I hug the penguin to me for the rest of class. We stand, Brendan asking if I want to have lunch with him. Nodding, I follow him out into the crowded hall, feeling a little better than I did this morning.

My phone rings, a number I don’t recognize popping up on the screen.

“Hello?” I answer with caution, my finger poised over the hang-up button in case it’s a solicitor and scam.

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