Page 58 of Shared By 3

“I’m so sorry, Val. If I would have left. If I.. Why did I stay? Why did I make you stay, why did-”

“It’s okay, Mom,” I whisper. “Dad didn’t do this.”

“He could have done so much worse,” she whimpers. “You shouldn’t be so calm. Why aren’t you afraid, why aren’t you ...” she can’t seem to string a sentence together.

“Mom, why don’t we go get Val’s meds?” Tristan offers. “I bet they have the ice cream she likes and plenty of water, which we know she’ll need with these pills, right?”

Mom nods, kisses my cheek and ignores me, pulling back, before hurrying off with Tristan. I don’t know what to make of that. Hunter adjusts me, pulling me onto his lap. “Why aren’t you scared, falling apart, pushing us away, anything?”

“Because if I’m not strong, who will be? I have to calm my mom down, I have to ... I have to go back to work and help people. Plus, if I cry or freak out, that asshole wins,” I say in a rush. “It happened and I just have to ... I have to move on.”

Hunter shakes his head and kisses me softly. “Someone told me it’s okay to be selfish and to focus on yourself.”

“Yeah, well, you focus on you and I’ll focus on you too,” I grumble.

Lief prepares a huge lunch and everyone eats. Tristan has mom talk to the guys and keeps the conversation away from me. I’m still nauseous despite taking my medicine. Food just isn’t settling right.

Before I know it, I’m nodding off. I groan and try to make my eyes work, try to make myself see the table and pay attention to the conversation. Instead, I’m picked up. I groan. “Why?”

“Come sleep with me, baby doll,” Chase asks. “Do it for me. I can’t sleep without you beside me right now.”

“Well, if it’s for you,” I sigh.

Chase wraps around me and I give in to the exhaustion, but sleep isn’t comfortable. It’s not kind. It’s not refreshing.

Yuri has a gun against me as I walk down the aisle to marry Chase. Blood keeps dripping onto my dress and I collapse into Chase’s arms. Yuri, Sven, Stefon all appear and kill my men, kill Mr. Volkov, take out my brother and Sophie.

There’s death everywhere, blood spreading towards me. Yuri’s voice caresses me as I choke on the blood.

“You’re queen of nothing.”

I feel the cold metal against my head and just as the click of the gun tells me it’s been fired, I wake up with a scream.

Chase shoots up, gun in hand. “What?”

I flinch away from him, only able to see the gun until I back into another hard body. Two arms wrap around me, then the door is thrown open. Another soft scream leaves my throat as I try to get away.

Hunter jerks the gun from Chase’s hand and points at me. Lief turns me in his arm and cups my face between his hands. He takes slow breaths while holding me against his chest. My heartbeat slows to match his pace and my breathing eases.

“It was a nightmare, dorogaya. You’re safe with us,” Hunter says, assuring me, rubbing my back and kissing my shoulder.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” Chase replies, moving closer as our eyes meet. “I’m so sorry. I thought it would be safer sleeping with a gun. The safety’s on, but ...”

“No guns in the bedroom from now on,” Hunter decides.

“Or knives,” Lief agrees.

“Just us, baby doll. Just us,” Chase promises.

“Just us,” I parrot back, digging my nails into Lief.

They get me settled back between them, but I can’t stop seeing our happy day ruined. They have so many enemies. There are so many problems with the future. If we make it through the wedding, how can we be sure that some assassin or sniper, or police officer isn’t going to take us in on our honeymoon?

How can we be sure that we’re going to have longer than tonight when the name ‘Volkov’ brings everyone with bloodlust out. The name is a target.

The name changes everything. I’m strong on my own and with my men. I know that. But my friends, our future, a family ... is all of that off the table now? Can I even work without putting other people in jeopardy?

A new need rolls in my stomach, making me sick. I need to talk to Vanya again. Vanya and the other wives. I have to figure out how to survive this without getting more blood on my hands.

---