Page 12 of Her Naughty Soldier

I had let my guard down with Ethan, something I rarely do except in my art, and now it feels like a mistake. His dismissal of our moment together—it's more than just a sting; it's a deep cut. I thought there was something real between us, something worth exploring despite the risks. But his words, spoken in haste to protect his friendship with Jake, make me question everything.

My feelings for Ethan aren't something I can easily dismiss. The connection we shared, the chemistry that's been building—it's not something I've felt before. But now, there's this overwhelming sense of doubt. Was I just fooling myself? Was I seeing something that wasn't there?

I get into my car, my hands shaking slightly as I grip the steering wheel. The drive home is a blur, my mind replaying the scene over and over. I keep seeing Jake's shocked face and Ethan's panicked reaction, and it just adds to the confusion and pain.

By the time I reach home, I'm emotionally exhausted. I sit in my car for a few moments, trying to collect my thoughts. Part of me is angry with Ethan, with myself, even with Jake. Another part of me is just sad, mourning the loss of what could have been something beautiful.

I finally get out of the car and head inside, my steps heavy. The house feels empty, echoing my inner turmoil. I need time to process and figure out what this all means for me, Ethan, and whatever strange relationship we've started.

As I close the door behind me, I lean against it, closing my eyes. I know I need to face these emotions, to understand why I'm so affected by what happened. It's not just about Ethan or even Jake. It's about me, my fears, and my hopes. This situation has forced me to confront feelings I've kept buried, and now I need to figure out what to do with them.

I head to my room, my mind still a whirlwind of thoughts. I need to sort through this confusion, to understand my own heart. But for now, all I feel is a deep sense of loss, a longing for something that slipped through my fingers before I fully grasped it.

Chapter 7

Ethan

Therestofmyday drags on, each minute stretching out endlessly, weighed down by the heavy cloak of guilt and regret. I can't shake off the image of Lily's hurt expression, Jake's shocked face, and the mess I've made of things. It's a tangle of emotions, and I know I can't avoid it any longer.

Determined to face the music, I head home as the sun dips below the horizon. The sky is painted in shades of orange and purple, a beautiful end to a day that's been anything but. I grab a couple of beers from the fridge, a peace offering of sorts, and make my way to the garage.

Jake's there, lost in his latest project car. It's his sanctuary, a place where he finds solace in engines and grease. The sight of him, so focused, makes my task even harder. I've always admired his ability to lose himself in something he loves, a stark contrast to my own restless nature.

"Hey, Jake," I call out, holding up the beers as I approach.

He looks up, a hint of surprise in his eyes, but he wipes his hands on a rag and takes the offered beer. "Ethan. What's up?"

I take a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. This is it, the moment of truth. "We need to talk. About Lily."

Jake's expression shifts, a mix of curiosity and concern. He nods slowly, gesturing to a pair of stools near his workbench. "Alright, let's talk."

We sit down, the cold beers in our hands contrasting the tension slowly building between us. I take a sip, buying myself a moment before diving into what feels like a confession.

"Jake, I... something is going on between Lily and me. Or at least, there was, until I screwed it up."

I can see the muscles in his jaw tighten, a silent reaction that speaks volumes. He doesn't interrupt, though, giving me the floor to explain.

"It started as nothing, just two people reconnecting. But it turned into something more. Something I didn't expect and wasn't prepared for." I pause, searching for the right words. "And then today, at the center... Jake, I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

I wait for his response, bracing myself for anger, disappointment, maybe even the end of our friendship. But Jake just takes a long pull from his beer, his gaze fixed on some distant point.

I listen as Jake finally speaks, his voice steady but tinged with an undercurrent of emotion. "You know, Ethan, we've been through a lot. Since we were kids, we've had each other's backs. Through everything."

His words hit me hard, a reminder of the bond we've shared for most of our lives. The guilt gnaws at me even more fiercely, knowing I've potentially jeopardized something so foundational over my growing feelings for his sister.

"Yeah, I know," I reply, my voice low. "That's why this is so damn hard, Jake. I never wanted to put you in this position."

Jake takes another sip of his beer, his eyes meeting mine. There's a depth there, a mix of understanding and apprehension. "Lily's always been off-limits, man. You know that."

"I do. And I tried, Jake. I tried to keep things platonic, but with Lily, it's different. I can't explain it." I pause, grappling with the words to convey what I feel. "I messed up today and said something stupid that hurt her. I care about her more than I thought possible. And I regret putting her, and you, in this situation."

There's a long silence that feels like it stretches on forever. Finally, Jake leans back, his gaze still fixed on me. "I've seen the way you look at her, Ethan. It's more than just a fling. And I know Lily; she wouldn't get involved with just anyone."

His words surprise me, a flicker of hope igniting in the pit of my stomach. "So, what are you saying?"

Jake exhales slowly, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. "I'm protective of Lily, always have been. But I also know you, Ethan. You're one of the good ones. If anyone's going to be with my sister, I'd rather it be you than some random guy."

The relief I feel is palpable, but it's tempered by the reality of the situation. "I appreciate that, Jake. But I don't want to cause a rift between us."

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