Page 62 of Savage Beauty

“I don’t know.” I floor the gas. “But there’s no way I’m leaving it to chance.”

* * *

Signora G looks tired. As usual, she’s in her chair, her blanket on her knees, but her skin is papery and dry. It takes her too long to react to our presence, but when she does, I’m relieved to see her smile.

“Sasha.” She reaches for my hand and puts it to her cheek. “I’m so glad it’s you.”

“Mio Dio.” I squat and look into her face as I speak. Her eyes are dull, like old marbles. “You look unwell. When did you last have a drink?”

She coughs. “I don’t know.”

I stand, ready to get her some water, but Josie is already pouring it out. She brings a glassful to us, and Signora G smiles at her as she takes it.

“Hello.” Signora G gazes unsteadily at Josie. “You’re a lovely girl. What’s your name?”

Josie instinctively drops to her knees so she isn’t talking down, and I feel a surge of adoration. My wife is a far better person than me, and I love her for that.

“I’m Josie,” she says gently. “Is it okay that I’m here? I came along to see if you’re feeling alright.”

“I’m fine,” Signora G scoffs. “Just fine.” She glances at me and smirks mischievously before beckoning Josie with her finger. “Come here,” she whispers. “I’ll tell you a secret.” Josie leans closer, and Signora G points at me as she speaks. “He’s in love with you. I can tell by the way he looks at you.”

Josie’s eyes meet mine, and there’s an awkward pause. Signora G hoots with laughter. “And you are crazy abouthim! Aren’t you?”

Josie looks like she wants to deny it, but she doesn’t. “We’re married,” she says, “so it is what it is.”

Signora G takes a sip of water and hands Josie the glass. “Young things like you play silly games, but it’s as plain as day. You’re in love with him. And whatever he’s done won’t change that, so why hold on to your anger?” She folds her hands in her lap. “Life’s too short. I should know. It’ll be babies next,Dio sia lodato!”

I can’t stop myself. “My wife is pregnant. How did you know?”

“It’s natural, of course.” Signora G looks well pleased with herself. “From love comes children. It’s a blessed thing.” Her expression darkens. “Not so much for your beautiful mama, but she got love fromyou, so that’s a blessing too.” She lifts a thin hand, placing it on Josie’s cheek. “Angelo prezioso,” she says to her, her voice soft. “Keep God beside you,cara, and be safe.”

Josie catches my eye and gives me the smallest of smiles, but it’s the one I know. The one that’s only for me. “Thank you,” she says. “These are hard times. We’ll do our best.”

“So no one has been to see you?” I ask Signora G. “Things are not going very well. Do you remember a man called Igor?”

Her breath catches in her throat, and she stares at me. It’s as though hearing Igor’s name has cut through the fog in her mind, and the clarity hurts her heart.

“Oh, my Rocco.” Her eyes fill with tears, and Josie takes her hand. “Rocco. I miss him so. I don’t know why it happened that way.”

I don’t want to cause her pain. But she loves me, and it was her son who died at my side. She deserves her chance to despise me.

“Igor is the head of the bratvakomissiya,” I begin. “But he was your lover, wasn’t he? And Rocco’s father.”

Signora G furrows her brow as though searching for something in the recesses of her memory. “Yes. He was. I haven’t seen him since…” She falls silent for a moment. “Has he done something to you?”

I close my eyes. “I’m sorry. It was my fault Rocco died. My father killed him. He wouldn’t have known where to find us that day if it weren’t for me. I told him where we were going.” My voice cracks. “I didn’t know what he was going to do. I swear it.”

I can’t look at Josie, but I know she’s staring at me. Back at the airport, when I told her the tale, I left this part out—all she knew was that my father had murdered Rocco, but not the logistics of how it went down.

“What are you doing?” Signora G sounds irritated, and I’m glad of it. Her tone reminds me of her younger days when she would try to get Rocco and me to come inside for dinner. “Don’t get that way. You didn’t kill Rocco.” I look up to see an expression of peace on her face. “He’s gone, Sasha. Igor left me and never spoke to me again, although he sent me money sometimes. I still think I see him now and then. Silly, really.”

“I don’t think you need to worry about him,” I say. Signora G nods, then frowns and whispers to Josie.

“Who is he talking about?” she asks.

Josie pats her hand. “It’s okay. But you need some help here. We’re gonna get some carers to come and see you tomorrow. Make sure you eat and are comfortable.”

Signora G nods. The mist has obscured her memory again, and she’s lost the thread of the conversation.

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