Page 57 of Savage Beauty

He’s calling me a whore.And he said my mom was a—

I can’t stop it; a shriek of anguish escapes me, a cry that’s been building up for years.

I don’t know what’s happening and why, but my husband has been lying to me.

Maybe he just wanted to make me love him because he likes to break women’s hearts like he did to Claudia. Perhaps it was because he desired me and didn’t like being the one who fell hardest. But none of it matters.

He knew what I’d been through. It just didn’tmeananything to him.

I’m gripped by a new and disgusting feeling: the realization that someone can understand you profoundly but not actually give a shit. Sasha was using me, just as I always feared he would. I’ve never been less happy to be right about something.

I scramble to my feet and slap the door open, smashing it into the bookshelf. Both men look at me in shock.

“Why, Sasha?” I want to yell, but my voice is weaker than I intend, and I curse my fragile heart that I’m more sad than angry. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Sasha looks at Vlad and then back at me. The silence is suffocating, but when he speaks to me, the words are far worse.

“You heard, I presume?” He rocks on his heels. “I’m taking over this family. Igor and I have it worked out, and I don’t need you now.”

“Wait.” Vlad frowns. “Is Sal Tosca in on this, too?”

“No,” Sasha says, laughing. “Feel free to bring him up to speed, but it’ll be in one ear and out the other on account of the fact that the stupid fuck is dead. Igor killed him, and I say good riddance.” He looks back at me, his gaze cold. “Go wake Morgana and Lili. The G5 is at JFK; be on it. I’ll forward your divorce papers in due course, and then you’re no longer my concern. And I already put a billion dollars in your account, so don’t tell me I never paid for your services.”

Bile stings my throat, and I swallow it as I turn away.

* * *

The burnt orange of the sunrise crests the cloud bank, bathing the floor-to-ceiling windows in warm light as we wait to board, but the beauty of the dawn does not break through the pain.

The airport is busy, even at this early hour. People bustle through the terminal, desperate to get home for the holidays. So many smiling faces. Their happiness seems to mock me, and I turn my face away, not wanting anyone to see the crippling sorrow on my face.

My husband was and is everything I despise. It was a man just like him who victimized my mother and led her back to drugs. Hell—my own father was cut from the same cloth. How grimly predictable that I, like Mom, am pregnant with a scumbag’s child.

Vlad talked a lot on the drive over. He told me about Sasha’s past, too: the drug pushing, the flesh dens, the low-down filth he associated with. It hurts to know the truth, but Sasha’s words of love still echo through my memory, refusing to be silenced. My head knows it was all a sick, fucked-up lie, and he’s been laughing at me all along, but my heart pines and aches regardless.

What a naive fool I am.

When we arrived, Vlad gave orders for the plane to be prepped for flight, sending the confused and frightened Dulcie to supervise the crew. We sat to wait at the charter gate, and since then, no one has had much to say.

Lilyana is silent, but her eyes have streamed with tears constantly for almost an hour now, and Avel sits beside her, his arm around her slim shoulders. Morgana stays close to Vlad, her face a mask of concern, but he will take no comfort. He stands at the glass, unmoving, as he watches the airplanes taxiing to the runway one by one.

Sasha betrayed us all. But I carry a constant reminder of him, growing deep in my belly.

I could have a termination, but I don’t entertain the idea for more than a nanosecond before dismissing it out of hand. My mom could have gotten rid of me when she realized my father was a manipulative, lying asshole, but she didn’t. She chose to take the risk and do all she could to get away. Mom wasn’t perfect, but she never gave up on me, and I will follow her example. I have no doubt it’ll be tough, money or no money, but my baby and I deserve better.

I catch myself scanning the departure lounge for the hundredth time. Of course, I’m looking for him. Like before, I’m waiting for an airplane to spirit me away, but I’m hoping he’ll run to me and take me in his arms. But everything is in ruins now, and I wish I’d never set eyes on the beautiful, heartless mess that is Sasha Kislev.

Morgana leaves Vlad to brood and joins me, sitting beside me on the bench. “We’re going to Tuscany,” she says. “My parents are out there, looking after Vlad’s villa. He’ll do something to make this right. He always does.”

“But itwon’tbe right.” I drop my head onto her shoulder, and she leans on me. “The only way we get out of this is by taking down Sasha and Igor, and while that would be a good thing, it’d leave me exactly where I am now. Alone and heartbroken.”

“True,” Morgana says. “But at least you’d be safe.”

I want to tell her about my baby, but I can’t. She’ll lose her shit and make what I’m contemplating even harder to achieve. It’s easier for us both if I keep shtum.

Vlad is walking toward us. “Our plane is just about fueled up,” he says. “Come on. Grab your bags, and we’ll get going. I don’t want to stay here a minute longer. It’s not safe.”

Safe.It’s a small, soft word but a profound concept that I can barely get my head around. I was stupid enough to sacrifice safety for the thrill of falling, forgetting that all of us have to land sometime. Sasha isn’t going to catch me, and now it’s clear he was never really there in the first place.

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