Page 54 of Savage Beauty

I wait for him to speak—to demand that I beg, to tell me I look beautiful,anything—but still, he’s silent. Instead, he parts my pussy lips with his fingers and plunges his tongue into my wetness.

The sensation is overwhelming. Sasha’s tongue circles and teases until I feel like I’m about to burst with ecstasy. Every move is calculated and calibrated to take me higher towards sweet oblivion. I’d be lost if it wasn’t for Sasha’s look of cold determination. No matter how much pleasure he brings me, his eyes remain distant and disconnected from the moment.

I feel out of control, unable to resist the orgasm he’s determined to force on me, but I don’t just want the release. I wanthim. The Sasha I know and love. The ego, dirty mouth, and warm, sensual body. It’s as though he’s left a part of him somewhere else, and it’s scaring me.

“Sasha-”

“Shh.” He redoubles his efforts, his tongue flicking against my clit, teasing and probing as my back arches in response. His fingers find their way inside me, alternately coaxing and demanding, and I come apart under his touch, screaming out in pleasure until the room is spinning around me.

I sit up, reaching for him before I come down from the high. I must close the gulf between us and regain the intimacy we shared in the library. Those stolen moments when he gave me all he had and more.

Sasha doesn’t resist as I push him onto his back and reach for his zipper, freeing his erection. I throw my leg over his body and straddle his hips before pressing my slick entrance against him. My body shudders with anticipation as I lower myself onto his length, slowly at first, then faster and harder, pushing into every corner of me as we collide.

I ride him like a woman possessed. It’s a frantic, panicked feeling; he’s inside me, yet may as well be galaxies away. His eyes are closed, and although he’s holding my hips, it’s not his signature firm grip. His piercing hits me deep, drawing a throaty moan from him, but his eyes remain closed.

“Look at me,” I say, my voice strained with torment. “Goddammit, Sasha! Where are you? Why aren’t you with me?”

Sasha’s eyes fly open, and he frowns. I slow down, sliding my pussy down onto him as I lean forward. I press my breast to his chest, my face level with his. Our lips are only an inch apart, but kissing him doesn’t feel right. I’m suddenly reminded of all those horrible nights I spent with men who were paying to use me, and the memory tips me into fury.

“How dare you fuck me like I’m nothing,” I whisper.

“You’re crazy.” Sasha’s words drip with wrath. “YouknewI wanted you. I never once thought less of you for your past. I was waiting for the right time, and you left the city only to hook up with some loser.” He shifts his hips, pulling free of me before pushing back inside, and I gasp. “I brought you here, and I’m sorry. You said I used you to get out of the marriage—maybe you’re right. But I’m in love with you, and that love will lay waste to my entire life and yours.” He winds a hand through my hair, his fingers digging into my scalp. “I can’t bear to think about it,” he murmurs. “So I won’t.”

I don’t understand, but his tone says it all, and I cannot find the words to reply. I want to stop everything and make him talk to me, but it’s too late. Sasha is already shifting his weight, holding tightly onto my hair while his free hand wraps my waist, maneuvering me deftly. We rock together in perfect synchronization, and soon, we’re gripping each other desperately as our movements become more frantic.

I never knew it could be like this. It’s as phenomenal as ever, but there’s something else there, too: an underlying fear that if I let go completely, it will all slip away like smoke on the wind.

When I think things can’t get any more intense, Sasha pulls my hair hard, dragging my head onto his shoulder and pinning me in place. He breathes harshly into my ear as he bucks his hips and gathers pace, pounding me until my pussy is burning up with the sheer onslaught. It’s as though he’s trying to diminish my hold on his heart by dominating my body, but he can’t fuck his way through the fear. Where is this coming from?

My second orgasm rushes over me like a raging river—unstoppable, uncontrollable, and more powerful than anything I have experienced before. I scream out Sasha’s name as I climax, my entire body shaking with the force of it. He snarls like an animal and comes deep inside me, the tension draining from his limbs as he empties his pent-up stress into my quivering body.

We collapse together in a sweaty heap, both of us exhausted beyond words, and Sasha nudges me onto the mattress beside him. I lie there for a few minutes, trying to piece together my thoughts as the aftershocks surge through me.

Ihaveto make him open up to me. If all he wanted was to see this through, clear his debt to Tosca, and have a marriage in name only—well, okay. He didn’t have to pretend he cared to get me to play along. Did he really think I couldn’t have just faked it, too? I mean, for fuck’s sake. That was myjob.

I turn to Sasha, ready to face the music, but his breathing is already deep and steady. He fell asleep without a word. Obviously, I could wake him, but my eyelids are heavy, too, and a little voice needles me in the back of my head.

Put it off until later. Wouldn’t you rather wait a little longer to discover what a fool you’ve been?

Consciousness fades away, and as I always do when I’m afraid, I dream of my mom.

37

Five hours later…

Sasha

Beside me, Josie sleeps with the peace I may never again feel. What bliss it must be.

I already knew damn well that I would break her heart tonight, but I fucked her anyway. That’s a violation, and I’m sickened by myself. Is there such a thing as emotional rape? Because she’d never have let me touch her tonight if she’d known what I was gonna do.

The thought sits deep in my ribs like a heavy weight. I cannot bear to lie beside my wife any longer, and the dawn is fast approaching.

I’m out of time.

Vlad doesn’t sleep well. He worries about Morgana, and the slightest sigh from her wakes him. Inevitably, he can be found at his desk in the early hours, trying to bore himself back to sleep with paperwork.

If I’m right and heisawake, it has to be now. I can no longer stall the inevitable.

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