Page 34 of Savage Beauty

“Is that something you’d like to do again?” I ask. “You said you aspired to do more than work for Kislev Enterprises.”

Josie nods. “I don’t know. I thought it’d be nice to do the same for kids in care, like as a charity or whatever.” Her tone grows bitter. “Marc thought it was weird, caring whether unloved children could find joy in reading, but he didn’t care about anyone who wasn’t useful to him.”

She’s playing it down, but some of the brightness has returned to her eyes, and I realize this notion has sustained her through her darkest moments. It’s as though she’s suddenly embarrassed, and she shakes her head as though to clear the thought.

“Anyway,” she continues. “Then the Ellis’s got into a new hobby, and people started coming around. Many visitors came and went, taking the kids to ‘parties.’ I guess it was a nice little earner.”

“I’m not gonna ask what happened, but I can guess. You went too?”

She drops her head. “Yep. It was as bad as you’d think. One kid killed herself, but the CPS worker hushed it all up. I fell in with an older guy and ran away to live with him. Like my mother before me, I believed he’d take care of me. Keep me safe. I went through the cycle a few more times and accepted my fate. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree. But I never touched any drugs.”

I want to find the Ellis’s. I want the names of every man who paid for Josie. Every scumbag cunt who attended the parties where children were passed around for the amusement of sick perverts. If I could, I’d throttle the life out of each of them and make them look my wife in the eye as they faded away.

But there’s one person at the top of my list, and I’ll make it my life’s work to put a name where there’s nothing more than a shadow.

“Josie, I’ll find out who lured your mom back to drugs. If they’re still alive, they won’t be for long.”

She smiles, but she doesn’t believe me. She doesn’t understand why I’d go to the ends of the Earth for her because she has this idea that she’s defective. Predestined to be property, chattel. Used and abused because it’s all she knows. And I, prick that I am, did everything in my power to confirm her belief.

Self-loathing is my constant companion, and I’ve worked hard to suppress it so it doesn’t eat me alive. But I never hated myself more than I do right now.

I reach for Josie and pull her to her feet, wrapping my arms around her. She doesn’t resist, burying her face in my chest. She looks up at me, her beautiful eyes shimmering, and I’m undone.

“Moya zhena.” I drop my lips to hers, tasting the salt of her tears. “My wife. My everything. All you have to do is say my name, and the world stops turning.”

Josie clutches at my back and molds her body to mine as I kiss her again. “Nothing, and no one matters like you do,” I murmur. “Don’t you feel it in my kisses? In my touch?”

I cup her ass and pick her up. She wraps her legs around my waist, her hands in my hair. “I do,” she replies, her breath hot beside my ear. “I want to believe you, Sasha.”

“So come upstairs,” I say, “and let me convince you.”

23

Josie

Sasha opens the bedroom door, and I dart inside and into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

My heart is pounding as though trying to hammer its way out of my chest. I need a moment to compose myself.

I told Sasha my deepest hurts, and he listened. He has something I never gave any man—a way to truly hurt me. He’s the keeper of my heart’s fragile secrets. Can I rely on him not to abuse my trust?

The only power I have over Sasha is his burning desire. Once he gets what he wants, will the fire be quenched? Will he cast me aside, just as I fear he will? I’m still not sure about Claudia. Maybe I’m destined to be like her, confused and hurt by Sasha’s lies, yet cursed to be in love with him?

I stare in the mirror and take a deep breath, steadying myself. This is happening. I’m powerless to resist. The consequences will come to bear, but Igottahave him, even if it’s only once.

Sasha opens the bathroom door and stands behind me. I begin to turn around, but he puts a hand on my hip, holding me still.

“Stay there.” He pulls the pins from my braid and rakes his fingers, tumbling my hair onto my shoulders. “You do what I say now; I promise you won’t regret it.”

I sigh as he sweeps my hair over one shoulder, dropping his lips to the hollow of my throat. He tugs my hair gently, pulling my head to one side and exposing my tender neck to his kisses. His mouth is hot on my skin, and framed by the Baroque gilt border of the mirror’s edge, he looks like a seductive vampire. A monster from a fever dream, an erotic, desperate fantasy of sex, death, and lust all rolled into one.

Sasha’s free hand finds my zipper, sliding it down to the small of my back. He tugs at the satin, rolling it down to my hips. My breasts catch a chill as they are exposed to the air, my nipples puckering, and Sasha gives a low moan, covering them with his palms. I close my eyes and drop my head against his shoulder as he teases my sensitive nipples between his fingers and thumbs.

“That’s my good girl,” he whispers. “You want me, don’t you? Your body has been calling to me even as you tried to resist.”

He’s right, of course. My pussy is going crazy, twitching and flooding as his teasing sends bolts of sensation to my core. His hardness is pressed against my ass, and I’m so wet and ready for him it’s almost embarrassing. Despite his size, he could bury himself inside me to the hilt with one firm thrust.

“Shut up,” I say. “You win, okay? You always do, one way or another. Do what you will. I want it all.”

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