Page 42 of Savage Beauty

She grits her teeth. “I didn’t want to mention it, but Sasha said Lili and I must wear white. We took delivery of some beautiful satin maxi dresses yesterday.”

I’m furious. Howdarehe? That’s just—

I unzip the bag roughly and nearly keel over when I see what’s inside.

My gown is red. Rich vermillion mikado silk, with a beaded corset bodice and dropped mini sleeves. It’s cut in the mermaid shape, kicking out into a fluted tulle below the knee, and it’sgorgeous.

“Woah.” Morgana touches the dress. “So Sasha certainly isn’t concerned with tradition. I’ll bet this isn’t happening at the family church after all.”

“No, he wanted me to choose, but he decided for me in the end and never told me,” I say. “I assume he just gave up and picked a hotel somewhere.”

We unbag the dress, and Morgana helps me into it. As she laces the back, I start to cry, my shoulders shuddering. Morgana spins me around and stares at me, searching my eyes.

“What’s wrong?” She wipes a tear from my cheek. “If this is all wrong, just go through the motions today and leave when it’s all over. However confused you are about Sasha, he didn’t give you a choice here. You don’t owe him anything, you know.”

“I tried so hard to hate him,” I sob. “But the things he says to me, Morgana. The things he does…”

She smiles. “I remember that one. You’ll be okay. The choice will be up to you in the end. Sasha may be an asshole, but I don’t think he’d make you stay if you wanted to escape.”

It was all I wanted, once. To put thousands of miles between Sasha and me and block him out.

He was always there, affecting me, invading my thoughts and dreams. I’d rather be poor with Sasha than rich with Marc—all the Kislev millions make no difference. All I can see ishim.

My feelings are like a runaway train. I can stamp on the brakes, making them squeal and spark, but I’m still hurtling along relentlessly, out of control. Time will tell whether I regain control or crash and burn.

* * *

The car is a sleek black limousine, and we all pile in. My girls are a vision, especially Lili. She’s styled her wheat-colored hair in spiral curls, pulled into a loose updo, and her lips are painted with a deep red stain.

“You look fantastic, Lil,” I say, planting a kiss on her cheek, “but you drank far too many of those Kir Royales while we were getting ready. Vlad will be furious if he thinks we let you get drunk, so don’t sway on your way down the aisle, got it?”

Lili stifles a small belch. “I’m fine, I promise. Morgana will prop me up if she sees me wobble.”

Morgana raises an eyebrow. “Hun, if you fall on me, we’rebothgoing down.”

We weave through the streets, and I begin to recognize small landmarks. We’re somewhere familiar. A place I have known well for years.

“Could it be?” I whisper. “Has he done what I think he’s done?”

The car purrs to a halt before the building that means so much to me. I spent so long inside these walls, losing myself in worlds I’d never visit, being near my mom as she scrubbed and vacuumed. It was here that I first read The Little Mermaid, a story that always resonated with me. Who wouldn’t risk it all for love? And, when love is lost, we all want to give up and fade away, just as the mermaid did in the original story. Disney made it all too easy—no wonder little girls get a shock when they grow up and find out how it really goes.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Morgana takes my hand. “New York City Library.Yourlibrary.”

We see Arman waiting for us on the steps, looking sharp in a black suit with a matching tie and shirt. He runs down and opens the passenger door, helping Lili onto the sidewalk. I catch his eyes flick up and down, but then he composes himself, taking a step back. He reaches for Morgana’s hand, and we’re all out of the car within a minute.

“What a sight you all are,” Arman says. “I’ll, uh, let them know you’re here.” He scoots up the stairs and inside without a backward glance.

“Hoo boy, Lili,” Morgana says. “I think you’re not-quite-brother’s brain just short-circuited at the sight of you.”

Lili blushes prettily. “He’s just not used to seeing me dressed up. He’s kinda over-protective sometimes.”

Morgana and I exchange glances. We know all too well what that means when it comes to these Kislev boys, but neither of us says any more on the subject.

Arman appears at the door again, beckoning us. We join him, and he ushers Morgana and Lili in ahead. His eyes follow Lili for a beat or two, and I smile. Then he takes my arm.

“I’ll walk you down if you like. I had to be accepted into this family, too, and like you, I didn’t have anyone else in this world.

I give him a nudge. “Thanks, Arman. Let’s do this.”

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