Page 37 of Savage Beauty

Sasha sighs. “Because my world is dangerous, full of people who overreact dramatically to real and imagined slights. I married and brought you home, humiliating Claudia and her father. If I told thekomissiyathat you didn’t want to be married to me, that it was all a mistake? Tosca would have had you killed. No doubt about it.”

I feel my blood pressure drop and take a deep breath to steady myself. “So the marriage needs to be legitimized, and you have to make amends with Tosca, or I’ll die?”

“Yes. At least, it’s a risk I’m unwilling to take.” He undoes a shirt button at his neckline, and I’m distracted by the thought of his bare chest. “But once this is sorted out, I can’t and won’t force you to stay with me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before?” I ask.

Sasha furrows his brow. “Because I had no plans to let you go. But something changed. I don’t know when it happened. I feel—”

A shrill sound pierces our bubble, and Sasha takes his cell phone from his pocket. He taps the screen several times, and then he’s on his feet.

“I gotta go,zolotse.” He throws a couple of hundred dollar bills on the table. “You stay awhile if you want. I’ll send you a car so you can meet Morgana.”

“Meet Morgana? Where?”

“I booked out the Guerlain spa at The Plaza, so you girls can stay out of my hair while I get the rest of the wedding stuff dealt with. Go get pampered, drink prosecco, whatever. My card’s on account, so spare no expense.”

I watch my husband pick up his jacket, slipping it on in one fluid movement. He is fast and efficient when he needs to be, and I recognize he’s in business mode. The message clearly has nothing to do with our impending nuptials, but I decide not to ask. I want to know what he was about to say, but it’s gone, the shutters in his mind slammed closed.

He’s got work to do. I’m just in the way.

Sasha cups my cheek and kisses me. “I’ll see you soon. Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.”

25

Sasha

Idrive toward NoLita, ready to deal with the task at hand. But I’m preoccupied with other problems that lurk in the shadows, ready to blow my world apart.

I didn’t exactly lie to Josie. I did indeed kick the heroin; that’s an absolute fact. And yes, the Kislev bratva has nothing to do with drugs, but that wasn’t always the case. My father was happy to make money from other people’s misery, and it’s only since Vlad took control that we wound down that side of the business. Back when Josie’s mother was victimized by a dealer, things were very different. The man who put the junk into that vulnerable woman’s hands could have worked for us.

Or, more accurately, for me.

Papa figured I was disposable, so he gave me a dangerous job—running the crews of dealers across the city who were charged with selling our stock. In practice, this meant working closely with pimps too, and I enjoyed the perks. It’s a miracle I never encountered Josie before, but I guess she never belonged to a scumbag who was loyal to my bratva.

Still, I wasn’tjusta junkie. I was a pusher, a supplier. A man who traded in pain and destruction. Death, dehumanization, and wasted potential were my bread and butter back then. I was as bad, if not worse than the man who dragged Josie’s mom into his twisted world.

When Papa learned I was an addict, he took the business away, saying he couldn’t trust me with the goods. He had a point, but knowing I’d failed at the only thing he’d ever asked me to do stung. He always told me I was pointless and good for nothing, and I went out of my way to prove him right. Ironically, it was only when the heroin drenched my brain in euphoric bliss that I could drown out my father’s voice.

I hear him now louder than ever.One job, Sasha. So simple. Can’t you do anything without fucking it up?

Yes, I can. I’m determined to see this through to ensure Josie’s safety. It’s the one thing I can do right.

Because I know she will want to leave in the end. She will see the truth even if I don’t tell her what I’ve done. I have nothing to offer her except my obsession, and that won’t make up for my fickle, self-sabotaging heart.

Love leaves, and so will she. It’s always the pain that stays behind.

The message was from an unknown number, but it was definitely Tosca. The guy must be incredibly paranoid.

I arrive at the motel and park across the street, my eyes fixed on the entrance. It’s one of those grimy pay-by-the-hour establishments scattered across the city, a hub for illegal transactions where people, drugs, and money change hands daily. The staff here are well-compensated in exchange for their forgetfulness and reluctance to cooperate with the police.

A ratty-looking inflatable Santa outside provides absolutely zero seasonal atmosphere, but it doesn’t matter; no amount of festive decor could make this shithole seem welcoming. I’m in no hurry, and my thoughts drift, plunging me into hedonistic daydreams.

For Josie, I was celibate for months on end, and she didn’t even know. She had no idea my powerful sex drive was channeled, focused on a single goal—to feel her tight pussy around my cock. The thought of fucking another woman wasn’t just unappealing. It disgusted me. All the beautiful women of the world were suddenly and completely invisible. I could notice and acknowledge beauty, but it was meaningless. Josie had enslaved my heart, soul, and body without so much as touching me, so when she finally did…holy shit.

My wife has awakened something primal within me, a fierce desire I can’t ignore. I’m incapable of denying myself; her body is my drug of choice, and I’m getting a real habit. I don’t care if it kills me. I’ll die happy.

God, she feels good. Every single time. So fucking incredible, her skin silky under my hands…

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