Page 73 of Vicious Hearts

I wasn't. But I am now.

26

The Dollmaker

Living Roxanne is now in a transitional phase. Soon-To-Be-DEAD Roxanne.

I know I'm done for, but I will go out on a high. Why shouldn't I? It's so little to ask that I be allowed my whimsy now and again, but no. Living Roxanne and her boyfriend had to SPOIL it all.

Graham Fisher was my favorite kind of useful idiot. I kept reminding him that Roxanne rejected himandwas pushing for an appeal that could see his son's killer winning a chance for parole. It was hysterical watching him build up a head of steam over the whole thing.

At first, Benedikt washelpingmy cause. It wasn't feasible for me to try and kill Roxy again, at least not immediately, but Benedikt's possessive rage complimented my plan perfectly. All I had to do was wind Graham up and point him at Ben, andbam. Two fights in one day, drawing negative attention to themselves.

It was such a fun idea. Bereaved father is obsessed with ex-girlfriend, fights her new boyfriend, murdersher, then kills himself? It would have been sotidy. Not as satisfying as it would have been if Roxanne hadn't escaped from me in the first place, but acceptable.

Of course, I didn't know Ben was in with the Bratva until Hillard refused to take any assault charges forward. That was a massive spanner in the works, as was Ben's insistence on staying at Roxanne's side.

Plan B was to make Graham disappear, leaving evidence suggesting Benedikt was responsible. It wouldn't have been challenging to make that stick to an impulsive, rageful degenerate like him. Hillard would then have had no choice but to arrest Ben, leaving Roxanne alone and defenseless. ThenIcould have taken my time over her, really made hersufferfor trying to be better than me.

By the time the Bratva bailed Ben out, Dead Roxanne would be found with Dead Graham in a beautiful murder-suicide tableau, depicting an age-old story of toxic love.

But that wasbeforeRoxanne called and casually ruined my life with her news about Farraday.

I still can't believe Roxanne found out Farraday wasn't crazy. The sneaky bastard took it upon himself to duck his medication? It never crossed my mind that he would do something like that.

So, it follows that he told Roxanne he'd been set up, and she figured he'd spill the beans if his wife and rugrat were safe. So Mr. Bratva used some highly illegal way of finding out where Lois was, and off Roxanne went to see her.

I never wanted Farraday dead. He's my pet. I went tosomuch trouble to keep him in his special little cage.

My weasel at the hospital called me and said Lois was trying to get in to see Farraday. It was late enough in the day to block them, but I knew Hillard would get around that by morning. So I told the weasel to kill Farraday and save us both.

Herefused.

When I told Momma, she said I was FUCKED. She never usually swears. I think it was her pathetic way of trying to get me to stop all this, but she should have known better.

When Roxanne asked me to keep Graham occupied, it was an easy request to grant. It's not like he was going anywhere, seeing as I already killed him. I had to move quickly, taking Graham to the shipping container and stringing him up. Hard work, but I can get a lot done if I push myself.

A few minutes at Graham's house, a quick text to Hillard from Graham's phone, and that was that.

You CUNTS wanted Graham Fisher to be The Dollmaker? You got it. But it's a fucking insult to have that idiot's name associated with my work. Good thing it won't be for long. Tomorrow I'll finally get the appreciation I deserve.

All I wanted to do was get to Roxanne. I knew Hillard would be occupied for hours dealing with the suicide of The Dollmaker 2.0. Maybe, just maybe, Benedikt would think it was safe to leave Roxy alone. I laughed my ass off when I found out Ben was looking for Hillard, thinking he was in on it.

It was a mess. All I could do was hide in my favorite place and wait to see if anyone came looking forme.

But my life is charmed. My missteps were corrected by the universe, guiding me gently onto the path I wasmeantto walk.

Even though so much went wrong, it somehow fell into place. There was Hillard on the news, saying Graham Fisher was The Dollmaker. Benedikt Voratov in the background. I had hoped they might shoot each other and make my day, but it was still the opportunity of a lifetime.

Living Roxanne and her idiotic compassion. All it took was a sob story and a phone call, and she hurled herself into the trap.

I can't preserve this. I know that. But for a few golden hours, the unlikely duo of criminal and lawman will believe that the nightmare is over.

The world will want to understand my mind. You have not seen my like before and will not again.

It won't be long before it all comes crashing down.

I'll make the best of the time I have.

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