Page 4 of Vicious Hearts

Is this a dumb thing to do?Absolutely.But I want himsobad.

Kai is a helpful concierge. The best. And a few dollar bills—a few hundred—did a lot to enhance his customer service skills.

The resort was full, but when Ben booked another night, Kai booked me to stay, too. And when I asked for a sledgehammer and told him what it was for, he only said he would have to invoice me for the damage to the roof. I’m sure I overpaid, but it was worth it.

Becausefuck me. It worked.

I turn off the bedside lamp and snuggle under the sheet. The patio doors are open, and outside, the thunder mixes with the crashing waves until it seems like the tempest might come in and drown us.

When I was in the hospital, I lived for Ben’s visits, and after I got out, I spent a ton of time with Leo and Ali, always hoping Ben would drop by. I saw him plenty of times, and we’d talk, but that hospital room had been like our little world. We were never the same.

But I’m not a fool. I saw things. A lick of the lips, a shift in his sitting position. His hands would twitch and flex when I got near him, as though he was fighting the urge to touch me. Those blue eyes—a deeper shade than mine—moved over my body.

He avoided me, made excuses, and distanced himself. Then he got rude and dismissive, hoping to offend me and throw my attention.

I tried to take that on board. Truly I did. But then we were together in beautiful Hawaii, attending our best friends’ wedding. It was okay until they left yesterday, and I couldn’t distract myself anymore.

Benedikt Voratov wants me. I know it, and he knows it too.

* * *

I’m dozing when I feel the mattress shifting. As I wake up, I realize it’s Ben, getting into the bed beside me.

I lie still, my eyes closed. Despite my bravado, I thought he’d sleep on the couch, but I was wrong.

I feel the heat coming off him as he settles, and I steal a look, expecting to see his back. To my surprise, he’s facing me. His eyes are closed, his head resting on his arm. His bicep muscle is bunched and big enough to make an effective pillow.

I’ve never been this close to him before. He smells faintly of toothpaste and his aftershave—citrus, with an earthy spiciness beneath it. I have to find out what it is so I can buy myself a bottle and indulge in his scent whenever I like. The warmth of his breath reaches me, and I breathe it in, reveling in it.

I could reach out and touch him. But now I’m here, I can’t do it.

Ben has dominated my fantasies for so long. If he rejects me, that will all be ruined.

But that was the deal, wasn’t it? That’s exactly how I justified this to myself. I need to know whether there’s something here, and if there isn’t, I can move on.

No. I can’t do it.I misjudged this situation. Lying here, I feel like a dangerous creature slumbers beside me.

I’m gonna move to the couch myself in a minute, and when I’m sure I can sneak out, I’ll leave. Get an earlier flight, book a charter, anything.

I count to sixty in my head, then open one eye. Ben’s chest rises and falls steadily, and he hasn’t moved. The mattress doesn’t make a sound as I slowly turn away from him, my foot reaching for the floor. The rug is soft as my toes make contact, and I sit up, perching on the edge of the bed.

“You coward.”

I freeze and turn, looking over my shoulder.

“You connive your way into my bed, only to chicken out when you get here?” Ben’s sapphire eyes pierce me. “Roxy, you’re here because you want to be. Have you changed your mind?”

“No,” I whisper. “But something about you scares me.”

“It fuckingshould.” The low rumble in his voice makes me feel weak. “You think you know me, don’t you? Well, you don’t. I’ll break you in two and not care if you hate me for it.”

The thunder seems louder than ever. My heart hammers in my chest, and my pussy flutters a little, despite his harsh words.

Holy shit. Is this why he’s been avoiding me?

“Can we just fool around a little?” I ask, my voice quivering.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?”