Page 24 of Vicious Hearts

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Ben

"I haven't eaten a meal since just before I got out of the hospital," Roxy says, tipping fries onto her plate. "If I'm lucky, I'll have dropped a few pounds."

I frown. "What? Why?"

"Because I haven't been eating."

"No, why would you want to lose weight?"

Roxy pinches a roll of flesh at her waistline. "I have it to spare. My body seems to be preparing for a famine. When Ali and I were poor and lived on instant ramen, she got skinny, but I stayed chubby."

I'm aghast. Doesn't she understand that her thick thighs and rounded little stomach are driving me fucking batshit crazy?

Objectively, I can see why Roxy might envy her friend. Ali's gorgeous, a lithe, lean beauty, but she doesn't do it forme. No one held my attention since I set eyes on Roxy.

When I first met her, we were in adjacent rooms in the hospital. I wasn't staying—I was resting after getting the bullet removed from my shoulder. But I knew she was in a pretty bad way, and it was my fault, so I decided to apologize.

She was weak from blood loss and the anesthetic, but that didn’t dull her shine. She was still radiant.

When I introduced myself, she laughed.

"You shot me!" she exclaimed. "Because of you, I missed the whole drama!"

I told her I didn't mean to do it.

"I know," she said. "It's over now."

I was bowled over. This bright, sunny girl, smiling, despite her horrible experience. Prepared to forgive, willing to forget, just like that.

I talked about my part in it. How I'd thought I could be Pakhan. My willingness to fuck over my closest friend and kill his woman, and how that willingness evaporated when I realized I'd been duped.

I found Roxy easy to talk to, but that's because she mostly listened.

When she got out of the hospital, and I saw her around, it didn't feel the same. I regretted telling her so much about myself. Combined with my attraction to her, it was as though she had taken something from me, even though I'd given it of my own accord.

"You look furious," Roxy says. "What did I do wrong?"

"Don't talk yourself down, Rox." I top up her wine glass. "If the delivery guy hadn't shown up, I'd have fucked you so hard that your ass would have left a permanent dent in my couch."

"That's sweet. I think."

I enjoy her blushes. What a delightful contradiction she is. How she stayed a virgin for this long, I have no idea.

Roxy puts down her fork and sighs. She rubs her eyes with her fists like a child.

"I'm so tired, Ben. I feel dirty, and I ache all over."

I stand and reach my hand to her. "As luck would have it, I have a bathtub. A huge one with claw feet. It looks like it belongs in an enchanted castle."

She starts laughing. "Why?" she asks, taking my hand. "What the hell is that doing here?"

"It was here when I moved in." I pull her to her feet. "I kinda like it, so I never had it removed."

"I love the idea of you sitting in the tub with a glass of wine and your loofah."

I grin. "Don't fucking tell anyone. You'll ruin my reputation. It's between you, me, and Mr. Quackers."

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