Page 75 of Vicious Hearts

Will anyone even find me? I'm sure the cops and Ben will put it together—after all, Lois will see her husband in the morning, and the grim truth will come out. I'll be dead by then, and so will Eddie.

I close my eyes.

It's been years since I last prayed. Before it all went wrong, my mother used to pray with me, but when she died, I stopped. I didn't want to talk to God and ask Him to watch over me. He clearly wasn't going to help me. Mom had been devoted to Him, and look what He allowed.

But Ihadlove. I'd rather have the memory in my heart than have never felt it.

Ben never had love and never believed he could. I missed my chance to tell him he was wrong.

Lord, please spare Eddie. He's only six, and he deserves to live. Takemeinstead. I want to be with my Mommy.

And please. Let Ben be happy. Help him to heal and grow.

Let him feel my love.

* * *

I'm dozing fitfully when I hear a squealing sound. A deadbolt being shifted.

Someone is coming in.

I crane my head, but the basement appears to be an L-shape, and I can't see around the corner. Then a familiar face appears.

"Roxanne, you're awake! How are you feeling?"

It looks like Oliver, but it isn't him. Not the manIknow. His eyes are wide and unblinking, his wide mouth twisted into a sneer.

For a moment, I wonder if this is all a very unfunny joke.

He has no bandages and no signs of injury. Of course he doesn't. Graham never laid a finger on him.

"You can't answer." Oliver tuts theatrically. "Silly me. I'll take that tape off your mouth if you promise to behave."

I nod, and he opens the door of the crate. His nails pick at a corner of the tape, and he rips it off my face in one go. I scream involuntarily, and he slaps me across the cheek.

"What the fuck did I just say?"

* * *

Ben

I'm driving too fast, heading for Always Home. I don't know where Oliver Buckley lives, but if I have to kick the door down to get in there and find out, I will.

Hillard didn't pick up his phone. When I called the hospital, they said he and Lois were in an interview room with Farraday.

He's gonna call back and say Farraday named Graham. Oliver Buckley will be home or at another hospital, or it's an error.

No. The more I think about it, the better it fits. It fits like it never did with Farraday or Graham Fisher.

My phone rings as I turn onto the street. I pull over and answer it.

"Ben, we have it all wrong," Hillard bellows. "It's Buckley. The whole thing is a stitch-upagain. Farraday confirmed it, and I questioned his keyworker too. The silly fucker buckled like a belt almost immediately. He’s been buying acid, switching out Farraday’s meds, and getting paid. Said Buckley called him and tried to get him to murder Farraday, but he wouldn’t do it—"

I speak, cutting him off. "Hillard, Iknow. I'm about to arrive at his charity offices now."

"You are? How the fuck did you find out?"

"I didn't. In the calm after the storm, my head wouldn't stop chattering, and I got to thinking about all the pieces that didn't go together. I called the hospital, and Buckley was never admitted."

---