“You have nothing to be sorry for.Heshould be the one apologizing.”
Rage simmered beneath the surface of her sadness and Ginny held tightly to Gavin’s hand as someone cleared their throat. That’s when she realized that Juniper had been there the whole time. She was standing a few feet away with Elijah by her side and Ginny offered her a smile.
“You two should talk. We’ll be inside,” Juniper said softly, eyes darting to her son and Ginny looked at Gavin. He looked conflicted about what to do, but Ginny nodded to assure him that she’d be okay.
“If you need me, just call out, okay?” He leaned in as he spoke and Ginny nodded again, swaying towards him as he kissed her cheek. She released his hand and watched as Gavin followed his parents back into the house. Her heart hammered so loud, she was certain her mother could hear. Gavin had been holding her steady in the face of this pain. But she knew that like everything else in her life, she needed to deal with it on her own.
Turning back to her mother, Ginny scooted to the end of the couch so they were sitting closer. Gently, she reached for Elsa’s hands and lightly stroked her thumbs over her knuckles. Her mother was shaking, hands trembling as they sat there in silence for a long time. Ginny was already thinking of all the ways she could kill Cyrus, all the things she could do to make his life a living hell. When she told her siblings, they would absolutely lose it and she knew they would help to dispose of the body once Cyrus was dead.
Right then, however, Ginny needed to focus on her mother. Focus on making sure the woman who raised her was going to be okay.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
Elsa hesitated, but then nodded and gently tugged her hands out of Ginny’s. She leaned back in the chair, hands flat in her lap, and glanced out into the backyard of the Rhodes house. Ginny forced herself to sit still, watching her mother and taking in all the details of her face.
“Your fa—Cyrus—” she said, hissing his name with a wince “—used to always do this when things didn’t go his way. Even when you were young, if one of you got in trouble and I didn’t punish you, he would find ways to hurt me. He would punishmeinstead. But he was always careful, making sure that it was hidden under my clothes so none of you would see. When I confronted him about his affairs, Cyrus would do the same thing. He’d blame me for his wandering gaze and then punish me for not being good enough.”
“Mom…” The question got stuck in her throat and Ginny had to swallow before saying the words. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“I didn’t want you to hate your father. When you were a child, you loved him so much. He was the center of your universe and I adored him for how gentle he was with all of you kids. I was happy being his punching bag if you got to have that with him.”
Ginny shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. She understood her mother’s sacrifices, but she still hated it. Hated that when she talked about how Cyrus was the greatest person alive, he was being the exact opposite behind closed doors.
“When he came back, I was hesitant at first. But Cyrus was always so good at sweet talking me, so I fell for it. I believed that the time apart had made him realize that he did love me and that he wanted me back. We dated for a few months before he suggested we get married again.” She sniffled, shaky fingers wiping away tears. Ginny remembered the giddy texts about meeting someone and being so happy. She should have trusted her gut and asked for more information then. “But in the week leading up to the wedding, I started seeing signs of the old Cyrus. When I questioned him, he blamed you for putting doubts in my mind. I defended you, because I knew that you were right. When your siblings also stopped responding to his texts and finally blocked him, Cyrus went on a rant about how I’d brainwashed all of you to hate him. How this was all my fault.”
Ginny winced, because she had triggered that monster when she showed up that day. Honestly, Ginny wasn’t sure if she would have handled things differently if she knew the truth about their marriage. She’d been so angry that day, she could barely remember what shehadsaid.
Elsa shook her head with a sad smile. “I told him that the reason none of you came was because of him, becausehehad made his choice with new wives and affairs over the years. Cyrus didn’t like that. That was the first time he hit me hard enough to draw blood. He’d always been so careful in the past, making sure I didn’t bleed.” She stood up and moved to the edge of the porch, arms tight around herself. “He was also having another affair, or maybe it was two. I could smell different perfumes on him when he came home, so I confronted him about it one day and he hit me again. And then never stopped.”
Ginny’s heart was in her throat and she stared at the frail form of her mother, tears sliding down her cheeks to splash onto her hands. She stood up carefully, but didn’t move to hug or console her mother. Ginny didn’t even know if there was any real way shecouldconsole her mother. For a second, she wondered if her showing up in Houston and causing a scene had provoked Cyrus. Elsa turned to look at her and possibly read the expression on her face, shaking her head firmly.
“This is not because of your visit, chakkare, so get that out of your head. Cyrus has always been violent and I chose to keep it a secret for years, because it was easier than admitting that I was in love with a monster. The reason you even showed up that day and the reason your siblings didn’t come to visit is because ofCyrus. He ruined any hope he had for a relationship with the four of you a long time ago.”
Nodding, Ginny closed her eyes, clenched her fists and breathed through it. Stasia had taught her a few breathing exercises for when things were overwhelming, for when she felt like she was spinning out of control. She felt hands smoothing over her tightly clenched fingers and opened her eyes to find her mother watching her.
“You were right to say all the things you did. You sawhimfor who he was even when I was too blinded by my love for him and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you for it. I might not have shown it that day, and I am so sorry for ignoring you, but your words made me look at him closer and even though I did love him, I saw between the cracks. It just took….” Elsa gestured to herself with a contrite laugh. “We didn’t get married. There was some pretty severe bruising around my neck that I couldn’t cover with makeup, so I made excuses about pushing it a few weeks. That didn’t stop him from continuing to hurt me, though. But the first chance I got, I ran. Juniper took photographs of everything when I got here.”
For the first time in her life, Ginny struggled to find the words to express how she felt when it came to the things herfatherhad done. Instead, she nodded. Grateful that the Rhodes family had been so welcoming and supportive of her mother. That they’d taken her in without hesitation.
“I can see why you’re in love with Gavin. He’s grown up very well.”
A laugh burst out of Ginny, surprising both of them. Shewasin love with Gavin, but not because of the way he looked. Because of who he was and how he loved her too. Elsa opened her arms and Ginny collapsed into them, as gently as possible, and hugged her mother. Everything that had happened, all of the ugliness that Cyrus brought into their lives was now finally going away. Ginny knew that it would take a long time for her mother to be fully healed, but she would be there every step of the way.
* * *
Ginny and Elsa stayed on the porch for hours, there was nothing more to say about Cyrus and what he had done. Their focus was only on catching up. Juniper brought them food at one point and even though Elsa asked her to join them, she insisted they enjoy their time together. Ginny told her mother about her Instagram account, showing her the profile and watching her mother scroll through with wide eyes.
“How long have you been doing this?”
“Since I moved to Wildes, so eight years,” Ginny told her, pushing food around on her plate. “All of the ugly things that Appappa and Ammai said about my body and how I’d be more beautiful if I lost weight lingered for years.” Bringing up her paternal grandparents always made her so angry, but they’d been part of the reason why she’d created @GinLife. “I hated how they made me question my value because I didn’t fit their idea ofperfect. So I decided to turn it around and show the world that being bigger, fat or plus size didn’t take away your beauty. It enhanced it.”
Elsa stared at her for a moment and then squeezed Ginny’s hand. “I’m so proud of you, chakkare. I’m so sorry I didn’t do more to defend you from their displeasure.”
“Obviously everyone on Cyrus’ side of the family is an asshole.”
Her mother snorted and gently nudged Ginny with her shoulder. “On our wedding day, your Ammai told me that I wasn’t their first choice for a daughter-in-law, but because I was fair and pretty, they’d accept.”
“Are you serious? And youstillmarried him?”