Page 18 of Protector

“I don’t what?” he asks, all seriousness back.

“You don’t mind me checking you out?”

He laughs, not cruelly in anyway, but he seems surprised by me asking. “Of course I don’t. Nothing has changed, Zach. Except for now you don’t have to hide from me. That’s all that matters. I don’t care if you think I’m hot or whatever.”

Yeah, he’s definitely blushing now, and I can’t help smiling at him, feeling every single bit of love I always have for him. “Or whatever.”

“Shut up.” He chuckles and nudges my shoulder with his big hand. “Nothing changes.”

“Okay,” I say, and I want to believe it, even if I feel a little skeevey for checking him out. Despite him saying he doesn’t mind, it still feels like a betrayal of sorts, knowing he isn’t into me. Not like that. But I know Adam well, and I know that he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it. He’s not really capable of lying.

I don’t think there’s a better human on this planet. I really don’t.

Adam Bates is just fucking golden.

ELEVEN

ADAM

I don’t want things to be weird. I won’t let them. I refuse. And I hope like hell I handled it okay in the barn the other day because I can’t hurt Zach. But I’m a bumbling idiot with this sort of thing.

I just am. Always have been. I knew at a pretty young age that I’m different. How different? I’m not really sure. I haven’t spent too much time thinking about it because I don’t want to.

But with Zach... I’m going to do what I can to make sure he knows just how little I care about his sexuality. That him being gay will not change anything at all. Him checking me out? I don’t really get it, but it doesn’t upset me at all.

Honestly, when Zach looks at me with that sort of goofy awe, I just feel kind of... warm inside. When he’s around, everything feels right.

It’s Homecoming week, which I love. The town changes and goes even more into the school spirit thing. The windows of all the businesses downtown are painted with our numbers in black and red. My front yard, along with every single one of my teammates’, has a special sign in it with our number on it.

The other yards all have Kensley Panthers signs. The school is covered in glitter and black-and-red ribbons and posters. It’s a high, and I can’t help thinking about how this is the last one where I’ll be in school.

But it’s not like I’m leaving Kensley. I still get to see it, but I won’t be a football player anymore. I won’t be sitting in the cafeteria as the cheerleaders gather and draw names out of a bucket.

It’s tradition. They wear our jerseys for the pep rally later today. A tradition I could do without. But I’m sitting here with the rest of the team, with my practice jersey in my hand, all washed and ready to go, while I’m wearing my game jersey.

Zach is next to me, and when Chloe walks up to draw, he goes deathly pale when his name is read. “No,” I say without thinking.

All eyes are on me, and damn it, I hate that. The only time I want eyes on me is when I’m out on the field. “What?” Chloe is glaring at me.

“Why don’t you wear mine,” I say, my cheeks heating, and again, I feel all eyes on me, including Zach’s. He looks like he wants to crawl in a hole, but I won’t let him. I hold my jersey up. “Take mine.”

Chloe just glares at me and folds her arms over her chest. But it’s Rachel who declares, “No way. You can’t trade.”

“You’re never getting in his pants, Rach. Jeez,” one of my teammates just has to pipe up, and he receives the middle finger from Rachel, who yeah, has asked me out on several dates over the years. I always politely turn her down, but I didn’t realize this was common knowledge.

“Shut the hell up, Matt.” Rachel’s eyes meet mine, her lips turning up into what I think is supposed to be a sultry smile. “No trades, Adam. You should know better.”

“Never gonna happen,” another teammate very unhelpfully coughs into his hand.

I tense, hating all this attention. Zach’s voice sounds frail when he speaks up. “It’s fine.” He stands, holding out his jersey for Chloe, and I want to scream. I want to walk right up there and take his jersey. To not let her have it.

Her eyes are coldly on him as she snatches it from his hand. “It better be clean.”

“It is,” Zach says, his shoulders hunched as he walks back over to me and plops down.

“Zach.” I keep my voice quiet as they draw another name, and I lean into him. “We can still have them trade. Brittany is really cool. I bet she’d agree.”

“Drop it.” His eyes meet mine, pleading with me to listen, and goddammit, I don’t want to. I don’t understand why he won’t let me try to help. “Please,” he adds, and I just nod, my jaw set hard, but I let it go.

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