Page 20 of Protector

“My sisters are going to my grandma’s tonight.” I figured they were since his mom and stepdad will likely go to the game with the rest of the town.

“Good,” I say and then drop my other hand from his shoulder, liking that his smile is back, even though it’s small. “It’ll be fun.”

“If you say so,” he says with a smirk, and then we sit out the rest of the pep rally and chat about the game as we hang out on our own.

Which honestly is the way I like it anyway.

TWELVE

ZACH

Homecoming.

I thought it would be different. It’s our senior year. Our last Homecoming. I thought it would be fun, but most of the game I just thought about my jersey with Chloe’s handwriting on it.

Calling me a liar.

And that’s exactly what I am. To her. To Adam. To myself. I lied for so long.

I hate it. I’m angry with myself, and no matter what Adam says to me to try to make it better, I think I always will be.

It’s one thing to be gay and not tell the world, but to be gay and have sex with a girl, one who thinks you love her. That’s not okay.

We pull out the win with the entire town watching, but there’s really no joy in it for me. Chloe wasn’t at the game. I’m guessing she got in trouble for her stunt at the pep rally, but I take no joy in it.

But my best friend seems to be hellbent on making me feel better, and after my second beer, I’m feeling... I guess a little more pleasant. We sit around the fire, and I notice not many of the older guys are there.

Jameson, Garrison, Oakley, and Travis were at the game. We saw them briefly, but after giving Adam a hard time with theirLittle Batesbullshit, they headed back to Hayes, and we came out here for the party.

I don’t see Chloe here either, which is a huge relief. But I’m not really paying attention to much else, and I’m constantly checking my phone to make sure my sisters are still doing okay at our grandma’s house.

No messages so far.

“Let’s go,” Adam leans in to say close to my ear, and God help me, my entire body shivers at his closeness. I need to get over this.

So he didn’t kick my ass for checking him out, and he seems totally fine with me being gay. But if he knew any of the thoughts stirring around in my brain, there’s no way he’d be this cool.

Or worse... God, would he humor me?

What if I told him how often I think about kissing him. How I wonder what his lips would feel like against mine. What his hard body would feel like pressed up against me. His big hands all over my body.

Would he push me away?

I don’t know. Knowing Adam, he’d tell me to go for it just for the experience.

And I can’t do that.

I won’t let the pity go any further.

And tonight, I’m going to share a tent with him out in the middle of nowhere because apparently, I’m a glutton for punishment. I should have told him no and that I need to get home just in case my sisters need me.

But I couldn’t do it.

He looked so damn desperate to make me feel better that I agreed. I nod and swallow what’s left of my beer before I stand up. He finished his a while ago and only had one. We toss our cups in a trash bag before we say goodbye and head out.

Adam drives us a little away from the party. There’s a ton of empty land out here, but I think this still belongs to the Oakleys. We hop out, and he gets busy setting up the tent. I start a small fire nearby but not too close and try not to watch Adam like the creep that I am.

I think whatever this attraction is, is getting worse and worse. I can’t help but watch the way his body moves as he sets up the tent. He’s wearing a hoodie and jeans, neither showing off much of his body, but he’s graceful and sure in each movement.

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