Page 15 of Connected By Souls

Sighing, I take a deep breath before answering him. “That wasn’t love, Tyler. You might have thought you loved me, but you don’t walk away from someone when they’re hurting as much as I was. You should have stayed by my side even if it took me a year to get out of bed. I needed you, and you left me. You called me broken, Tyler.” Tears fill my eyes at the hurt that he caused me.

“I didn’t mean it. I swear to God. I just didn’t know how to handle the whole situation, and Kelsey was there in my head telling me I deserve someone who’ll put me first, and I just fucked up.”

Kelsey, so that’s her name. I realize then that I no longer have any emotions about this situation, good or bad. I don’t feel a thing talking to him. I’ve had a lot of time to think over the past few months, and the cheating was just a part of it. I know now that we had problems way before my parents died. I was never loved and supported in a way I truly deserved, and I know that now.

“I hope you find what you’re looking for one day Tyler, but that someone isn’t me. I have moved on from you, and day by day, I hurt just a little bit less by my parents’ death. I’m not mad at you anymore—in fact, I’m grateful for you. I may never have moved here if you hadn’t done what you did. For the first time in my life, I know with certainty that I’m right where I’m supposed to be.” Thoughts of Noah enter my mind at how he already makes me feel like I’m home.

I hear him sigh on the other end of the phone. “So there’s nothing I can say or do to change your mind?” He sounds defeated.

“No, there isn’t.” I couldn’t be more sure of anything.

“Well, I guess this is goodbye then.” Sounding like a child who got his favorite toy taken away, I hear him sigh.

“Goodbye, Tyler,” I say before hanging up. Feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I take a deep breath. Maybe I needed this closure more than I thought. Our last words to each other weren’t pretty.

Feeling better that I got to say what I needed to, I take my salad out on the deck to eat. I see children playing on the beach as parents help them build sandcastles, remembering days with my parents that were just like that. I watch them while I eat. The kids run around and play without a care in the world, just enjoying the present moment. I look over at Noah’s house and feel a sense of longing as if I’m supposed to be over there with him instead of here by myself. I don’t understand how I can feel like this about someone I just met, which terrifies me. Needing to keep busy, so my thoughts quit racing, I take my empty salad bowl inside and get started on my planters.

Brushingthe soil off my legs, I stand up and admire my work. Planter beds hang off my rails filled with different colored flowers. I have the palms in the corner, giving it a lush tropical feel as they gently blow in the breeze. Two large pots I immediately fell in love with stand on either side of the cottage doors, overflowing with flowers. The local artist who makes them does beautiful work. I admire the bits of iridescent shells mixed in on the outside of the pot. Feeling proud of my gardening efforts, I wipe the sweat from my brow as I smile and look at the ocean. The waves are gentle today, and for the most part, the beach is deserted as families go inside to eat dinner.

On impulse, I run inside and change into my swimsuit, suddenly needing to feel the ocean on my skin. I’ve been so busy working on my house that I haven’t touched the water except for my toes. I change into a cute green one-piece that has cutouts on the sides. The high-cut look makes my legs look long and lean, and the cheeky bottom fit shows off my nicely toned butt. I look in the full-length mirror and smile. Yoga has really paid off. I lost so much weight after my parents died from being unable to eat, and it feels good to finally feel healthy and strong again.

I grab a towel from my bathroom and walk out the back door. Running and laughing across the sand, I drop my towel as I head straight into the water. I dive under, feeling the cool water on my hot skin. Coming up for air, I lay on my back and float, watching the clouds go by. The saltwater soothes my sore muscles from all the work I’ve been doing and washes away all the negative energy from talking to Tyler. I’ve always felt that the ocean water was healing, and Lord knows I need all the help I can get. I swim for a while, doing some laps and enjoying the gentle bounce of the waves before heading in.

I spot Noah standing with his hands in his pockets as I approach the beach. He’s dressed in khaki jeans and a white t-shirt. Nala sits by his side with her tail wagging as I walk up to them.

“You’re really starting to give off that stalker vibe.” I tease him. His eyes hungrily roam my body before those ocean blues meet mine.

“I promise you I’m not a stalker.” He smiles down at me. “I was about to leave for dinner, and I went out back to grab Nala and saw you running down the beach to the water. When you dove in and didn’t come back in right away, I wanted to make sure you were okay. I couldn’t see you clearly from my house, so I came down to check on you.”

“I just needed the ocean.” Shrugging my shoulders, I smile back at him.

“I get that. If I spend too long away from the water, I swear I start to get withdrawals.” He gives me a half smile.

“It really does make everything better.” I look out into the endless horizon. “Somehow, all your problems or worries just wash away.” Turning back to Noah, I see him staring at me like he’s trying to figure me out. Reaching out to me, his hand brushes my hair causing tiny jolts down my body. I suck in a breath at the sensation and see his eyes burn into mine. Holding up his hand, he shows me the seaweed he grabbed, giving me a small smile.

“Thanks,” I whisper.

Nodding his head, he clears his throat and stuffs his hands back in his pockets. “So, did you get what you needed today?”

“What I needed?” My mind immediately goes to my dreams and images of him showering. No, I didn’t get what I needed.

“At the hardware store and nursery. Did you get what you needed?” His eyes dance with amusement like he knows exactly what I was thinking.

“Um, yeah, I did.” I can feel my face go red as I walk over to my towel. I grab it and start towel-drying my hair so I don’t look like a drowned rat. “I got everything on the list. You were right about Lily’s. That place has everything.”

“I’m glad you love it. I do all my landscaping projects through them. They have some unique pieces there.”

“They do.” I finger-comb my hair, trying to get the knots out.

“Well, now that I know you aren’t going to drown on me, I better get going. I’ll see you tomorrow Emma.” He gives me a small smile as he calls for Nala, who is chasing the seagulls down the beach.

“See you tomorrow.” I watch him walk away before slowly making my way back to my house. I try to push the thoughts out of my head about who he’s seeing tonight as I try and tell myself I don’t care. Why, then, does my heart feel heavy? Stepping under the shower spray, I close my eyes against the thoughts, but all I see are blue eyes staring back at me.

ChapterNine

Noah

Walking back to my house,my heart is in my throat. It’s beginning to become harder and harder not to touch her. I’ve known her my whole life, and it’s killing me to have her so close yet unable to pull her into my arms. When I saw her come out of the water in that sexy swimsuit, I wanted to grab her, put her over my shoulder, and carry her back to the house to do things that would make my dreams seem PG.

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