Page 58 of Connected By Souls

Grinning, I head to the kitchen and let Nala outside and fill up her dog bowl. Taking out some eggs and veggies, I sit them on the counter and make a pot of coffee. While the coffee is brewing, I start cutting up the omelet veggies as I hear the shower turn on upstairs.

Last night couldn’t have gone better. Having her in my bed after dreaming about those moments for so many years feels like I’m living in an alternative reality. I’ll tell her everything tonight, and there’ll be nothing between us anymore. I can’t wait to tell her some of my favorite memories of us. Her being a mom telling our two beautiful children bedtime stories so detailed that I begged her to write them down so our grandkids could read them one day. Running off together at eighteen because our parents disapproved and making a life together on our little farm by the sea. Our cabin in the woods with our waterfall. I grin as images of us under our waterfall appear in my mind. Those waterfall memories got me through some tough times. So many beautiful memories that I’ve been waiting to share with her.

Finishing the omelets and pouring our coffee, I look towards the stairs, wondering what is taking her so long. I heard the shower stop a while ago. Walking up the stairs, I pass the door to my office and find her standing at my desk with my first draft in her hand.

She looks up at me with confusion. “I walked by, and the door was open. I wanted to get a better look at your book collection,” she says, pointing to my bookcases filled with books, “so I came in.” She holds up my first draft. “What is this? I don’t understand.” She starts shaking her head like she can’t believe what she sees.

“Shit, I didn’t want you to find out this way,” I say, running a frustrated hand through my hair.

“Are you...Beck Hunter?” Her voice is barely above a whisper. Hurt fills her eyes as she looks at me.

“I can explain everything.” I take a step toward her.

Taking a step away from me, she asks again. “Answer me, are you Beck Hunter?”

“Yes, but let me expla..”

Cutting me off, she asks, “Why? Why would you keep this from me? Oh my God, I feel like such a fool. YouknewI read your books, and you let me think it was someone else, a girl for that matter, while you stood there and let me gush over your work, all the while knowing it was you.”

“It wasn’t like that. Just please let me explain,” I plead.

She opens her eyes wide, “Mav knows too, doesn’t he? Of course, he does.” Laughing and running a hand through her hair, she says, “You guys must have had a really good laugh about that one. Him finding your book on my chair while you guys pretended not to know anything as a stupidfan girlgushes about you.”

Throwing the papers on my desk, she moves past me to leave. I grab her arm. “Dammit, Emma, just let me explain.” Shaking my arm off, she runs down the stairs. I follow after her. “Emma, you’re not leaving until we talk this out. You don’t understand.”

“Like hell, I’m staying. I don’t even know who you are. Are you even a handyman, or is that just some made-up job you do to disguise who you really are?” Grabbing her keys and bag from the table, she heads to the door.

“Emma, wait, please just hear me out,” I beg.

Looking at me, I see the tears fall down her cheeks. “You know what I’ve been through with my parents and what I went through with Ty. You know how important trust is and how much it took for me to let you in,” she says, choking back a sob. “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.” Turning away from me, she opens the door.

“You know me, Emma, you know that I have to have a good reason about why I didn’t tell you. Please give me this chance to make it right and explain,” I whisper hoarsely.

Stopping at the door with her back to me, I hear her say softly, “I thought I knew you, but I don’t know anything anymore.” She shuts the door behind her taking my heart with her.

“Fuck!” I yell before dropping to my knees. My heart feels like it’s being ripped from my chest as I hear her pull away. Closing my eyes, I can still see the hurt on her face, which guts me to my core. I’ve got to make this right one way or another. I’ve just found her, and I’ll be damned if I let her walk away.

ChapterTwenty-Two

Emma

Pulling awayfrom Noah’s house, my heart feels shattered into a million pieces. Unable to catch my breath, I pull into my driveway. Taking deep breaths, I try to control my breathing as the tears stream down my face.

How could he keep something like that from me? I keep asking myself that question over and over. Thinking back to all the times we talked about his books while he just stood there and let me fan girl all over him. I feel like the biggest idiot in the world, but most of all, I feel so deeply betrayed. He knew how important trust was for me, and after everything I went through last year, I thought I could trust him enough to be vulnerable and let him in despite my fears.

Putting my hands over my face, I let the hurt and sadness take over as I sob uncontrollably, my body shaking from the pain of it all. I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here crying. My throat is aching, and my body feels numb. I turn off the engine and go inside, heading straight to my bed. I curl up in a fetal position I know so well from this past year and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out the pain.

Reading the clock beside my bed, I must have dozed off because it’s close to noon now. I’m supposed to be at work in two hours. I think about calling in, but I refuse to lay here and allow the darkness to take over again. I need to keep myself busy, so I won’t think about him. Forcing myself to get out of bed, I go to the fridge to get some water to soothe my raw throat from crying. My head and body are aching all over like I’m sick with the flu. Even though I’m not hungry, I know I need to try and eat something before work. I grab a yogurt from the fridge and force myself to swallow, barely tasting a thing.

Hearing my phone ding, I take it out of my purse and see that I’ve missed several calls and texts from Noah. Not bothering to look at them, I put my phone on silent and head outside, hoping the sun and sea will make me feel better. I settle on the lounge and take deep breaths inhaling the salty air, trying to ease the tightness in my chest. Closing my eyes and wishing my mom was here to comfort me, I silently cry as tears stream down my face. “I need you so much right now, Mom,” I whisper.

“Emma,” I hear Noah say quietly. Opening my eyes, I see Noah standing there. He’s wearing the same sweats with a t-shirt now, and his hair is disheveled like he’s been raking his hands through it several times. “I tried calling and left several text messages. I just want to make sure you’re okay. I’m so sorry you found out that way.”

“I can’t do this now, Noah.” I wipe my eyes and get up. “I have to be at work soon.” I turn to go back inside.

“Please, Emma, just let me explain. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I would never hurt you. I need you to hear me out.”

I sigh as I turn around. “I just need time, Noah. I don’t have it in me to do this right now. I’m barely hanging on right now,” I whisper. He takes a step toward me with a pained look, like he wants to comfort me. I step back, knowing I won’t be able to resist him if I make contact, and I’m too hurt right now to make sense of it all. “Please, Noah, just give me some time. I need to process all these emotions that I’m feeling, and I can’t do it when you’re next to me. We moved so fast. I should have known not to involve my heart so early.”

---