Page 27 of Connected By Souls

“I bought it about two years ago. It was in bad shape from a few storms that had come through and needed some major TLC. I knew when I saw it that I wanted it. I was living in an apartment with my best friend, Mav, and needed to get out of there. Let’s just say the walls are very thin in apartments, and I needed my own space.” I grin at her as she laughs. “Anyway, when this came on the market, I jumped on it. Little by little, I put life back into her and created my dream home. I hired out for the bigger jobs but did most of the work myself. I guess I just hoped I would fill it with my own family one day, so I went for it. Either way, it’s a great investment. Would you like some wine?” I ask, holding out a glass.

“Yes, thank you.” She takes a sip. “Well, you did an amazing job. This is the most beautiful house I’ve ever seen. I can’t imagine what the view is like during the day.” She looks at the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the water.

“It’s breathtaking.” I look at her and get lost in her green eyes. “Um,” I slowly break eye contact, “I need to check on the potatoes and get the steaks going. Grab your wine, and I’ll show you out back.”

Stepping onto the deck, I hear her say, “God, it just keeps getting better and better. This house should be on the cover of a magazine.”

“Thank you, I’m really glad you love it. I added a whole new deck out here and put in the infinity pool and hot tub.” Walking her to the right, where the outdoor kitchen is, I open the grill to turn the potatoes and set them on the top rack before adding the steak. “How do you like your steak? Wait, let me guess…medium, right?”

“How did you know?” She asks, laughing.

“Just a lucky guess. I like mine the same way, and since we have a lot oftastesin common, I didn’t think this would be any different.” I shrug my shoulders and grin at her.

She rolls her eyes at me. “Funny,” she tries to hide her smile and fails.

Laughing, I set my wine glass down on the bar. “Let’s go inside and get that salad of yours, and I’ll bring out some plates for us. I thought we could eat out here since the weather is nice tonight.”

“Sounds good to me.” She follows me back inside.

I get down the plates and load up a tray with condiments, adding the silverware. Emma grabs the salad and wine bottle before we head back out.

Excited barks greet us. “I was wondering when you were going to join us. Those lizards must have kept you busy down in the yard.” I set the tray down and scratch Nala’s ears.

Seeing Emma, she leaps over to her and starts running around her in circles. Laughing, Emma bends down to get a hug. “How’s my favorite dog doing tonight?” Nala attacks her face as she grins up at me. “I think I’m in love with her. I always wanted a dog, but my dad was allergic to them. We even tried one of those hypoallergenic breeds, and he still couldn’t do it.” Standing up and brushing off her pants, Nala sits right down beside her and looks up at Emma with her head cocked to the side. It seems like she has us both captivated.

“That sucks. I can’t imagine not growing up without a dog. Nala’s dad, Hurley, is my parents’ dog, and before they had Hurley, we had another golden named Skip growing up. He was my best friend when I was little and lived to be fourteen.” Hearing my thermometer beep, I check on the steaks. “Steaks are done. Let me get them off the grill, and then we can eat.”

Emma sets the table while I tend to the steaks. Bringing the steaks and potatoes over to the table, we fill our plates and sit down to eat.

“So…tell me about yourself. I feel like I know you, but I really know nothing. I don’t even know your last name.” I laugh, taking a sip of wine.

“Hart. My last name is Hart. There’s not much to tell,” she says with a sigh. “I’m an only child and grew up in Tennessee. My parents tried for years to have another, but it wasn’t meant to be. My best friend, Skye, is like my sister, though, and still lives in Tennessee with her boyfriend, Cole.” Her eyes light up at the mention of her friend. “She’s a kindergarten teacher, and they’ve been together since high school.” Taking a bite of her steak, she closes her eyes, “Mmm, this is really good.”

“Thanks. The salad is too.” Not letting her change the subject this time, I ask, “What made you move to Florida? Are your parents still in Tennessee?”

“So, you really want the whole story? It doesn’t have a good ending.” Her voice goes soft, and sadness returns to her eyes.

“Emma, I want you to be able to tell me anything. The good and the bad. You can trust me.”

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Is she going to let me in? She starts to talk, and I release the breath I had been holding. “I had a wonderful childhood. It was just the three of us, and we did everything together. We came here every summer, and it was our favorite vacation spot. I would spend hours with my parents swimming in the ocean and building sand castles. Along with Skye, my parents were my best friends.”

Looking out at the ocean, she gets lost in thought. Sadness and pain reflect in her eyes when she turns back to me. “About a year ago, they were hit head-on with a semi-truck. The driver had fallen asleep at the wheel. Both my parents were killed instantly.”

“Fuck. I’m so sorry, Emma. I can’t imagine what that did to you.”

“Well, it damn near killed me,” she says with a sad laugh, running a hand through her hair. “I didn’t get out of bed for months and was having panic attacks nearly every day. Tyler and I, my boyfriend of two years, had an apartment together, and he was understanding for the first couple of months. He took care of me, making sure I was eating, and would lie in bed with me when he wasn’t working so I wouldn’t be alone. After some time, though, he became angry at me and didn’t understand why Iwouldn’t snap out of it. I tried, I really did.” Her eyes plead with mine. “I wanted to get better. I wanted more than anything for that emptiness I was feeling to go away. He started spending less and less time at our apartment and more time at work.

“If it weren’t for Skye, I probably wouldn’t be here. She didn’t give up on me and wouldn’t let me give up on myself. She forced me to get out of the house one day and made me try a yoga class with her. I cried through most of it and probably looked like some crazy girl in the back row, but when class was over, I felt lighter somehow. The teacher and I became friends, and she encouraged me to keep coming. She said it would help release some of the pain, and the breathing techniques would help my panic attacks, so I went back and slowly began to get better.

“It still hurts and probably always will, but I can breathe a little better every day that goes by.” She looks at me with those beautiful green eyes filled with sadness, and it breaks my heart. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess. Here I am supposed to be giving you a good conversation tonight, and I bring a sob story to your door. I already sobbed on you this morning.” She breaks eye contact and looks down at her hands.

“Don’t,” I reach for her hand on the table. Tracing soothing circles with my thumb, I hold on to her, wanting to comfort her. “Don’t ever apologize for your feelings or for what makes you, you. You have a bad habit of that.” I give her a small smile. “You’re so strong. You picked yourself up from the darkest moment of your life, and now you’re sitting here with me. Living. I can’t imagine what you went through, but I do know one thing, your parents would be proud of you. They would be happy that you chose to live.”

Nodding, her voice is quiet. “I know they would be, and I know they would want me to be happy, but I don’t know how to fully do that. You think I’m strong, but I’m not. I’m scared. I’m so scared that I’ll never feel whole again and have this emptiness inside of me forever. That I’ll never find love because I’m broken or worse, I’ll find love only to lose it again.” Fighting back the tears, she looks up at the sky and then back at me, “God, I can’t believe I’m telling you all this. I don’t know how you do it.”

“How I do what?”

“Make me feel like I can tell you anything. You make me feel…safe.”

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