Page 53 of Silent Tears

“Ho bisogno di te. You are my reason for living; you are myonlyreason for living. I have been in love with you since the coffee shop, fucking obsessed with you. You are theonlywoman I will ever need or want. Do you hear me?“ I ask, needing her to fucking understand, needing her to know that what I feel for her is fucking real, that we are fucking real.

“Yes,” she whispers.

“Do you believe me?” I ask, looking into her eyes.

“Yes,” she replies.

“Before you, yes, I was fucking other women, but since you, I haven’t touched another woman, Nicolette,”I confess. Since she has come back into my life, I haven’t even fucking looked at another woman that way. She fucking consumes me in every way.

“What?” She asks, confused.

“I haven’t been with a woman since you. You are the only one I want, the only one I need. I need you to fucking hear me,” I say, hearing the anxiety in my voice increasing.

“I’m sorry,” she says ashamed.

“You never have to apologize, Nicolette, never, not to me, and not anyone. I just need you to trust me and tell me when something happens. Can you do that, please?” I beg her. Watching her run away fucking shattered me broke me. I am nothing without her by my side now.

“Yes,” she states calmly.

“You scared the shit out of me when you ran, don’t ever fucking do that again to me. You can’t just fucking disappear. Since finding you, that’s all I have fucking feared is you disappearing, you not being real. You can’t ever do that to me again,” I confess as the adrenaline dissipates and my body starts to shake.

“I won’t, I promise,” she responds confidently, melting away some of my anxiety.

I drop my hands from her face and slowly stand. I reach down and grab her arms, bringing her off the floor so I can quickly undress her and take her into my arms. She rests her head on my chest as I turn and enter the bathroom. I set her on the edge of the tub, not wanting her to be too far away from me. I am not making that fucking mistake again. I reach down, turn on the water, and put in the plug, adding bubbles and rose petals. I straighten, take her into my arms, and lower her into the tub.

I kneel next to the tub, keeping my hand on her stomach as the tub fills. She rests one of her hands on mine and leans her head back against the edge of the tub, closing her eyes. She is so fucking beautiful.

Michael will fucking pay for what he said to her, for making her second guess my need and love for her, and I have the fucking perfect thing in my head. But first, I think it is time I show her just how fucking serious I am about her.

I slowly stand up.

“No…don’t go. Please,” she begs me, making my heart drop.

“Bambino, I will be right back. I promise,” I say, trying to reassure her.

She slowly nods.

I turn, walk out of the bathroom, and pick up my jacket. I have been carrying this box around for a while. Ty went and got it for me after I told him what to get, and he did well. I reach into my jacket pocket and remove the small box, opening it and taking the ring out. She needs assurance more than ever right now, and I need to show her that I am serious about my feelings and that my actions match my words.

I inhale deeply before putting the ring back into the velvet box. I turn around and return to the bathroom to find her in the same position. I kneel next to the tub and slowly extend the hand that is holding the opened ring box, revealing the big ass diamond ring. Ty did not disappoint. I did tell him big, and well, he did just that.

“Christian,” she says softly.

I watch her face closely as she looks from the ring to searching my eyes. My heart races, and my hand becomes shaky. “I always have been a mostro, a murderer, a drug and weapons dealer, and a fucking playboy. But the day you spilled your coffee on me, my entire fucking world changed. I searched for you everywhere. You are the reason my heart beats now. You are the reason I have air in my lungs. You saved me when I didn’t even know I needed saving. Instead of turning away from me because of the mostro I am, you walked into my arms and told me you loved me. I need you every day for the rest of my life, Nicolette. If you are not okay, then I am not okay. If you are in pain, then I am in pain. If you are happy, then I am happy,” I whisper, hearing the emotion in my words. The feelings that only she can bring out in me.

I fill my lungs as I lean into her. She keeps her eyes on me as they fill with tears. I brush my lips against hers. “If you die, I die. If you live, I will live with you. Will you please become my wife?” I ask softly.

She inhales deeply. “If you are not okay, then I am not okay. If you are in pain, then I am in pain. If you are happy, then I am happy. If you die, I die. If you live, I will live with you.” She repeats my words, making my heart stop. “Sei il mio mostro, Christian, Ti amo. Certo che diventero tua moglie.” A smile spreads across my face. “Not bad, Bambino,” I say with amusement.

“Ty has been teaching me,” she confesses with a smile.

“When?” I ask.

“Whenever you are not around,” she replies with a smile.

I take the ring out of the box, and she lifts her hand, allowing me to slide the ring onto her finger, making my heart skip a beat.

“When?” She asks in a hopeful and excited tone, making me smile.

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