Page 32 of Silent Tears

I grab her face firmly but gently force her to look at me. “Open your eyes,” I demand softly but firmly, keeping my eyes on her. She needs to look at me, and she needs to know I won’t fucking hurt her. She does as I ask, her blue eyes lock onto mine.

“It is okay, everything is okay. I will just change the bedding,” I say calmly.

She shakes her head at me, her eyes filling with more tears. “It’s not okay. None of this is okay, Christian,” she whispers.

“Bellissimo,” I whisper. I know she is embarrassed. I can see it in her eyes, but she never has to be sorry or ashamed about having a trauma response to a situation, person, dream, memory, or nightmare. She never has to apologize for being human.

She pulls away from me and quickly gets up from the bed. She turns around and rests her back against the wall as she looks at the fresh pee on the bed. My heart aches and sinks for her as I slowly get up from the bed and walk around, stopping in front of her. She shakes her head and rests her hands against my chest.

“Everything is okay,” I try to reassure her, but I can tell she doesn’t believe me. She is waiting for me to react, but what I plan on doing is not what she thinks I am going to do

I grab her, turn, and lead us both toward the bathroom. I walk inside, forcing the light to turn on as I lead her to the couch so she can sit down. She watches me slowly as I turn around and make my way over to the bathtub. I kneel down, turn on the water, and put in the plug. I grab the bubble bath and add a little along with the rose peddles.

What did I do wrong?

I thought she was doing okay. I thought she was doing better

I guess it was all in my head, or maybe I was pushing her too far, too fast, or maybe it was the opposite, and I was giving her too much space. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, I fucking saw it, and now I see nothing but darkness. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to show her that I am not them.

The only way I know how to show her is sexually. I don’t want to push her over the edge, but maybe just fucking maybe, that is what she needs. She needs to see with my actions that all of this will be different, that I am not those men, and that she is, in fact, my everything. And I have never been fucking good at words. I have always been better with actions, so I will show her with actions.

I stand up, turn around, approach her, and grab onto her arms, forcing her to stand. I kneel down and pull off her cotton shorts. I stand, remove her tank top, and throw them into the basket.

She is still sobbing as I take her into my arms and take her to the tub. I gently lower her into the hot, steamy water and go down to my knees next to her. She rests her head against the back of the tub and looks at me, her eyes rapidly searching mine. I know what she is thinking. I know by the look in her eyes what the voices inside her head are telling her.

“You are not dirty, Bambino,” I whisper as I lift my hand and gently brush the side of her face with the back of my hand.

“How can you say that?” She asks in a confused and sad voice.

“I can because it is true. Everything is okay, you are okay,” I reply, reassuring her as she soaks in the bubbles and petals.

“Are we?” She asks in an afraid voice.

“What?” I ask, tilting my head to the side. Her question takes me off guard.

“Are we okay?” She asks, searching my eyes. It pains me that she needs to even ask this question, but at the same time, I understand she needs reassurance from me, and I can do that; I can do that for her.

“Bambino, we are better than okay, prometto,” I state with as much confidence as possible. But I can tell it will take more to convince her, and I know exactly what will. I need to show her that she is not dirty in my eyes, that there is nothing she can do to change my mind about her, and that there is nothing she can do to change how I feel and see her.

I slowly stand up, keeping my eyes on her as I reach over and grab the towel. She takes a deep, shaky breath as she stands up and steps out of the tub, standing in front of me completely naked and fucking breathtaking. I slowly look over her body for a moment, then wrap the towel around her body, gently drying her. She stands still as I make my way down her body and then back up; she slowly turns around, allowing me to dry off her back. I throw the towel onto the couch, grab her hips, and walk into her, forcing her to walk out of the bathroom.

I stop about a foot away from the bed, forcing her to do the same. I walk over to the bed and rip off the sheets and the blanket. I look down at the mattress and see a small wet spot, but it will be okay. I only need her on the edge of the bed anyway. This will do for now. I will get a new mattress in the morning. It will be replaced before she even wakes up. I will make sure of that shit.

I make my way back over to her and grab onto her hips, forcing her to move backward until she falls onto the bed. My hand rests against her chest, forcing her to lay completely down as her feet remain firmly on the ground.

“You are not dirty,” I whisper as I kneel between her legs. I grab her throat as my other hand goes underneath her left leg, forcing her to lift it and rest it on my shoulder; her breathing starts to increase.

“Ho bisogno di te,” I whisper as I lean down to her pussy. My tongue gently starts to lick between her folds as my hand tightens on her throat. She arches her back as I suck on her pussy. I begin to massage her pussy with my tongue and slowly make my way down toward her entrance.

“Bellissimo,” I whisper against her pussy as my lips gently kiss her. She moans as my tongue pushes into her pulsing pussy. Her pussy wraps tightly around my tongue as her breathing increases. She moans again as my tongue starts to move in and out of her, her juices entering my mouth as my hand keeps a firm grip on her leg, keeping it on my shoulder. I release her throat and wrap it around her other leg, forcing her to lift it and rest it on my other shoulder.

My hand rests on her stomach as I suck and lick her pussy, wanting to taste all of her. Sebastian and those men degraded her, forced her to do things, and witnessed things that no woman should have to go through. I plan to undo every belief and lie they put inside her head. I will recreate her sexual experience where I am the only one she will scream for, moan for, and want.

She is tutto fottutamente mi.

31

Nicole

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