This time though I walked right in, shoulders squared, eyes steeled, every ounce of me screaming with silent rage.
I didn’t even glance at Dornan, who’d replaced Murphy in these financial meetings we had every Sunday. No, in that moment, he didn’t even exist. I went straight for Emilio, who didn’t look at all surprised that he’d finally hit a nerve in me that I couldn’t ignore.
‘Mariana,’ Emilio greeted me, amusement written all over his face. ‘You’re late.’
I smiled thinly, the box in my hands far heavier than its actual weight. ‘I am. I had a very busy morning.’
In my peripheral vision, I could see Dornan staring at me, and I knew he was probably dying inside that he wasn’t in on whatever Emilio and I were discussing.
‘I suppose I should be lenient, since it’s your birthday,’ Emilio said sweetly, his sugar-laden words failing to cover the poisonous barbs that lurked beneath. ‘I trust you got my gift, darling?’
Darling? He’d never called me darling in ten years. The word sounded like cursing coming from his mouth.
I dropped my smile, but didn’t turn my gaze away. To be able to outstare a powerful man is a very rare gift, and I intended to use that gift. I stared at Emilio Ross until my eyes were burning, begging for me to blink, or look away, but I refused.
I’d assumed that I would place the box neatly in front of him and step away, but in that moment, the way his cold eyes surveyed me with an almost amused look, that shock I’d been experiencing subsided. In its wake, a tsunami of rage swelled through me, unbidden, uncontainable.
‘I got your gift,’ I replied, opening the cardboard box. ‘I’m returning it.’
I said a silent prayer, an apology for the child whose remains I was about to use to prove a point. He shouldn’t have had to bear the weight of my anger, but it was too late. I’d tried to save his little life once, had held his newborn flesh against mine and warmed his body as his mother lay dead in the car seat behind us. He’d survived being born in a tiny cell in the back of a truck, he’d survived the cold and the dark as his mother bled to death beside him, and he’d survived the precarious months since then. But he had not survived ultimately. He was dead, and Emilio had killed him. His death could not be in vain. An innocent child didn’t deserve this ending, not after he was already dead. He didn’t deserve to be disrespected. But in what I did next, I hoped that I would be standing up to his killer, to make sure his death didn’t mean nothing. I’m so sorry, I offered up to his poor tiny soul, as I did what I did next.
I tipped the box upside down over Emilio’s ridiculous fucking desk, sending pieces of ash and bone in a pile that gave off grey dust, enough to choke a person. Emilio closed his mouth as soon as he realised what it was I’d just deposited in front of him. Something about the look in his eyes tantalised me – he was surprised. Not angry. Just shocked.
‘I’m impressed,’ Emilio said, pursing his thin lips together as he looked down at the ashes in front of him. ‘I didn’t think you had this in you.’
‘Neither did I,’ I replied.
Beside me, I heard Dornan clear his throat. ‘Will somebody please tell me what the fuck is going on?’
Emilio’s eyes were on the ashes in front of him, and it was then I realised I’d won. I’d out-stared him. Out-manoeuvred him. Question was, how was he going to punish me for it?
I turned my cold gaze to Dornan. It was almost comical how much he looked like his father – the Italian features, the dark eyes, their identical cheekbone structure. I marvelled momentarily at how I could have fallen so hard, so fast, for a man who looked eerily like the person I hated most in this world.
‘Your father delivered a package to me this morning,’ I said, my voice monotone. ‘He even called me to make sure I personally unwrapped it.’
Dornan shifted uneasily in his seat, looking between me and his father. Emilio wore a smirk as he looked between the mess on his desk and me. It was almost as if he were pleased that I’d done this. Maybe he was.
‘And?’ Dornan pressed. ‘What was in the package? What is that?’
‘A dead baby,’ I said flatly.
Dornan raised his eyebrows. ‘What!’
‘The baby we took to the hospital the night you were shot. We tempted fate.’ I looked back at Emilio, who couldn’t wipe the smile off his smug fucking face. ‘Luckily, your dear father was here to restore the balance in the world. Make sure nobody got away unaccounted for.’ My words were dripping with sarcasm, and it was a wonder Emilio didn’t stand up and slap me from across the table. He was oddly removed, and I realised how much he was enjoying this – watching my reaction unfold.
I would give him nothing. Not a single outcry, not a single tear. I could be a blank slate, a monster, just like the two men I was currently sharing oxygen with inside this stuffy room.
I heard footsteps in the hallway come closer, rapidly, as if someone were running. I had two guesses as to who they belonged to. Sure enough, the door burst open to reveal Guillermo, his round face shiny with sweat as he held on to the door handle, panting heavily.
‘Get out,’ I said to him. ‘We’re not finished yet.’
Guillermo looked like I’d shot him, he was so surprised. Glancing at Emilio, who tipped his chin in a gesture that said he agreed with my sentiments, Guillermo closed the door again.
I could feel Dornan’s presence beside me. He was bewildered. He was angry. Most of all, he was afraid. I didn’t even need to look at him to know that he was terrified for me. Because if his father could kill an innocent baby, what would he do to me?
‘Pop, tell me she’s wrong.’
I side-eyed Dornan, a little surprised that he’d found his voice. He was a man who could intimidate anybody except his own father.