Page 59 of A Baby Changes Everything

"Really?" Hope frowned. She'd been uber careful to conceal any outward signs of her condition. At least she thought so.

Anna nodded. "As cliché as it sounds, youareglowing. Plus, I've never seen you drink anything but water, milk, or juice." She inclined her head toward Hope's coffee. "Your one allotted serving of caffeine, I presume?" At Hope's nod, Anna's gaze dropped to her mug. "My fourth this morning."

"I miss having more than one cup." Hope sighed before draining what was left of the single serving she did allow herself. Lately, good to the last drop held new meaning for her. "And that's all it took to pique your curiosity?"

Anna shook her head. "No. There are other subtle nuances and gestures both you and Drew have that I doubt either of you are even aware of."

"Like what?"

"Like pressing your hand to your lower back when you've been standing for a while. The silly grin on Drew's face whenever he looks at you and his eyes automatically drop to your belly. How you tug on your shirttail when you get up or sit down. The way Drew watches your every move. That sloppy grin again."

"You noticed all that?"

"And more," Anna confessed. "You're a little fuller than you were when you first arrived, especially right in front. Things no one besides a woman who's watched her own body go through the transformation of pregnancy would likely notice."

"I'm so sorry." A wave of guilt washed over Hope. This was not the way Anna should have learned she was going to be a grandmother for the third time. Once again, all because of Hope's selfishness.

"What on earth for?"

"For not telling you about the baby." Hope blew out a breath and shook her head. "It isn't because we didn't want to, but more because nothing about this pregnancy has been planned." Hope raised her hands in the air, letting them fall back to her sides. "Besides being on the same veterinary team at Wakefield, nothing between Drew and me has been planned or occurred under traditional circumstances." Tears pooled in Hope's eyes. "Until we came here, we hadn't even been on a real date."

"Life has a way of just happening sometimes."

"I considered giving the baby up for adoption." The confession tumbled out before Hope could yank the words back. Great. Just great.

Too agitated to sit, Hope pushed herself to her feet and paced a small triangle between the living room and kitchen. "You must think I'm a horrible person. Not to mention what the hell kind of whack job your son has managed to get himself hooked up with."

"I told you I wasn't here to judge. And I don't think you're a horrible person either."

"Just a complete whacko," Hope muttered.

"Not at all." Anna bridged the gap between them. "After all you've been through the past few months, I think you're handling things pretty damn well."

Hope couldn't help but laugh. How in the world could Anna say such things with a straight face? "If you truly believe that, then maybe I should be concerned about your state of mind. Because trust me when I tell you, I feel like a ticking time bomb inside." Her voice cracked on the last word.

"And rightly so," Anna replied. "Hope, having a baby is daunting under the best of circumstances. But when combined with working a full-time job, caring for a terminally ill parent, and then grieving his loss, I can't begin to imagine the emotional roller coaster you've been riding."

No argument there. Especially considering how often Hope felt like she was going off the proverbial rails lately. "When I first found out about the baby, I was in total shock. I mean, I was already well into the first trimester and had no idea I was even pregnant. With everything else going on, it just never occurred to me."

"Which is perfectly understandable."

"I still felt like an idiot for not having any suspicions, though. Looking back, I know there are things I should have noticed. But I guess my mind wasn’t on that particular frequency at the time.”

“I doubt it was.”

"Once the initial shock wore off, a million questions ran through my mind. But one kept surfacing." She met Anna's steady gaze. "What if I couldn't handle being a parent? My mother couldn't. What if I turned out like her? That's why I considered adoption. It was a knee-jerk reaction because I didn't want my child to have a mother like mine."

"And that by itself tells me you're nothing at all like your mother, Hope."

"But she didn't leave until I was five."

"Did you ever ask your father what happened?"

"He didn't like talking about her. But one day, when I was about twelve, I kept asking questions. Finally, he told me she wasn't cut out to be a mother. But it didn't matter because we were fine without her and he loved me enough to be both my mother and father." Emotion burned her throat and welled up in her eyes. "And he did." Sniffing, Hope swiped at her eyes. "I never asked him about her again."

"But you still worry you'll end up being like her?"

Hope nodded. "Every damn day."

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