Page 5 of Before Forever

“Actually, I am,” I assured him. “Much, much better. I’ll be at the office in about….”

“About that,” he cut me off. “I was hoping to catch you before you left home. I wanted to apologize because yesterday made it clear that we pushed you into coming back too soon. So after you left, I did something I should have done long before now. I moved your accounts over to Jeffrey to take the pressure off you. So you can take as much time as you need.”

I gave up on balancing the tray of coffees, and my arm went limp from the shock of his words, sending them all crashing to the ground. They splashed on a few people passing by, causing them to curse and glare at me with dirty looks. But I was a million miles away and could barely register any of that.

“Frank, no. I don’t need you to do that. Yesterday was rough, I know, but I really am ready to come back,” I defended, my voice cracking with desperation.

“Clearly, you’re not, but it’s okay. You’ve been through a lot, and….”

“That’s right. I have,” I snipped, growing angrier by the second. “And I don’t think it’s fair for you to punish me for needing time off after my own mother passed away.”

“Listen to yourself, Melody. That’s not what’s happening here. I’m trying to give you all the time you need. It’s not a punishment. I’m trying to help you,” he argued. “I’m afraid I really must insist. I recommend a week, but Jeffrey’s got it handled…so like I said, take as long as you need.”

Of course, Jeffrey was handling it because it was a chance for him to steal my job and all of the big-name clients that went with it. He had been eying my corner office ever since I got picked for the promotion over him. I always knew that one tiny slip on my part would send him sniffing around my clients like a vulture. I just didn’t realize my mother dying could count as me “slipping.”

“What do you mean yourecommend a week?” I stammered, trying to shake off the rage.

“It’s all under control. If you need two weeks, three weeks, a month…Anything longer than sixty days, and you’d just have to take it up with human resources, but nothing here is going up in flames without you.”

Ouch. First, I was replaceable for Ethan, and now I was replaceable at my job. Or so Frank thought. I knew better. I knew Jeffrey couldn’t manage everything as well as I had. The longer I was away, the bigger chance he stood at convincing Frank he shouldn’t let me come back…and the more damage he would do with our clientèle. Every second that passed, I imagined a huge mess growing which I’d have to single-handedly clean up when I returned.

But…therewasthe lake house which I was eager to get squared away as soon as possible. Frank had already made up his mind, so I could take the opportunity to get Silver Point over while placating him. Two birds with one stone. Maybe by the time I came back, I’d finally manage to convince him (and myself) that I was going to be okay.

“Okay, Frank…Sure,” I sighed finally, accepting defeat for now. “Thanks for setting that up, and be sure to thank Jeffrey for me as well.” It was painful to say, but I knew it’d make me look good. Those words were just stepping stones to my eventual return.

“Take care, Melody.”

The call ended, leaving me standing there alone on the sidewalk with suddenly nowhere to go, a mess of spilled coffees scattered on the ground in front of me, and a giant box of bagels that would go to waste. I wanted to cry, but breaking down in tears yesterday was what got me into this mess. I wasn’t going to let it happen again, just to prove to myself that I could be strong.

Out of spite, I chucked the big box of bagels into the trash and called up the one person who stood any chance at making me feel better.

Katie was editor in chief at an artsy magazine and was the only person I had ever met who could make modern art make sense to literally anyone she talked to. She was the epitome of a New York City woman in every way, from her style to her attitude. I secretly aspired to be just like her for years, and I was lucky enough to be able to call her my best friend.

A couple of hours later, she found me waiting on the patio at one of our favorite lunch spots. The black iron tables and chairs were surrounded by lush greenery that gave the feeling of an escape into nature from the crowded pollution of the city. It was like hiding behind a curtain for an hour or so before venturing back out into the madness. It had served as the perfect backdrop for Katie and me to discuss everything from our love lives to our families to our jobs. Though up until recently, work always took the main stage.

I was pouting and sipping a cocktail when she walked up in her pristine white suit, looking like a breath of fresh air that I wished I could be, so strong and elegant. Definitely not screwing things up at work or falling to pieces like me.

Immediately, she held out her arms, letting me crash into them like a sobbing mess. But I was still determined to keep my tears at bay. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t in desperate need of a hug.

I felt terribly guilty that all of our recent lunch meetings were eaten up with me lamenting over Ethan or grieving my mom. Still, Katie always insisted that she didn’t mind. It’s what friends were for, she reminded me over and over again.

That afternoon, I caught her up on the lake house and everything the attorney said…along with smarmy old Jeffrey putting his grubby hands all over my biggest projects the first chance he got. And worse, the feeling that this was Frank’s way of slowly nudging me out the door for good. Today, it was a week off. Soon, it’d be a leave of absence. Until finally…we’d start discussing my severance package.

“Sounds like perfect timing to me,” Katie replied after I had finished dumping everything on her. “This lake house is a godsend, really, if you think about it. It’s a project for you to focus on and a vacation all wrapped into one. If Frank’s giving you the time, take it and make the most of it. When you do come back, who knows when you’ll be able to steal another vacation.” She took a drink and laughed. “It’s kind of sad, isn’t it? In careers like ours, it takes someone dying just for us to get a little time off.”

“It’s not really a vacation,” I reasoned to her. “I can get some work done while I’m there.”

“Come on, Mel. A vacation wouldn’t kill you. The opposite, actually. It just might save your life. You’ve been working too hard for Frank and those assholes and they don’t appreciate you. Frank handing everything over to Jeffery like that proves as much.”

“All the more reason to prove how wrong Frank is and to show how dedicated I am,” I argued. “And it will keep Jeffrey from getting too many ideas about taking over my portfolio permanently. I’ll work and get the house fixed up to go on the market. Once that’s all out of the way, I can come back to the city refreshed and put this whole terrible chapter of my life behind me.”

“Here, here,” she lifted her glass to toast to that. “I vote for anything that puts some much-needed space between you and he-who-shall-not-be-named…and of course anything that gives you a well-deserved break to reset.”

“Just a little time to check these last few things off the list,” I murmured. “Then finally everything can go back to the way it was.”

I knew it was a lie. Nothing would ever go back to the way it was. My mom was gone for good, and nothing was going to change that.

But time did stand a chance at softening the ache in my heart over Ethan not loving me anymore…if he ever did at all. And it could restore my chance of at least getting some of the things I had been dreaming of for years. I could still carry on with my life in the city without him. The most important thing was not letting any of this jeopardize my job any more than it already had.

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