Page 3 of Before Forever

A storm was rolling in over the mountains, bringing in a relieving breeze to cut through the humid August heat.

I tossed the ends of the two-by-fours I was measuring and trimming off into the scrap bucket just as the sound of an angry woman caught my attention from across the lake. It was the last week of peak tourist season, and all the families who rented houses in the area were packing up their cars to head home. One of the ladies was scolding her kids who started splashing around in the lake, even though swim time was over.

I watched her wrap them up in towels and gently dry them off before shuffling them back to the picnic table, where she instructed them to wait while they finished packing up.

“They better hurry up before the sky opens up on em’,” my brother remarked, appearing by my side with a bottle of water for both of us.

“The rain is a better send-off than sunshine. It lets them know the party’s really over…at least for now.”

“I’ll just be glad when it cools down for good. I’ve had enough of this heat,” he replied, trailing off as he noticed me carefully studying the mother across the way.

“I better get going. I have to pick Em up from school,” I told him, still not looking away from the woman who served her kids a tray of snacks and juice boxes for the road. I noticed one of the boys looked to be about Em’s age.

He followed my gaze across the lake and seemed to stiffen up when he realized what I was staring at. A happy family, a loving mother. Things that had been ripped away from Em and me.

Keith gave me a quick pat on the shoulder. “You’ve been working hard, Derek. And you’ve done a hell of a job. I don’t know if I could have done it…juggling all of that. On top of your firefighter gig, you’ve been solid with me and the guys here…keeping the business afloat, helping me manage them and all the jobs.” He clicked his tongue and shook his head. “And looking after a young girl all on your own in the middle of all that? You’re nothing short of a hero.”

My jaw clenched, and I finally turned to face him. “We all do what we have to. You’d do the same.”

“I’d try to,” he noted. “I doubt I’d pull it off. At least not like you are.”

I was desperate for him to stop talking about it, so I busied myself with packing up my tools and loading up the truck. But of course, he just had to follow me back and forth…talking my ear off the whole way.

“It’s not over for you, you know. You’re still young…and you’re a good-looking guy. Not as good looking as me, of course, but…you catch my drift.”

“I really don’t,” I huffed. “What are you going on about?”

“I’m just sayin’…maybe it’s time to get back out there is all. Find yourself a nice woman…a mother for Emily.”

I tossed my metal toolbox into the back of the truck and slammed the door shut behind it before spinning around to glare at him face to face. The veins in my neck were bulging, my nostrils flaring with hot and heavy breaths.

“Emily has a mother. She’s just not…,” my voice caught on a lump in my throat. “No one can replace her.”

As soon as I got the words out, I rushed back to what I was doing, sweeping away the clumps of sawdust into one big, neat and tidy pile. But Keith was relentless.

“It’s not about replacing anyone, Derek. It’s about being happy. It’s been three years now. I know you’re lonely.”

“You’re one to talk,” I teased, desperate to lighten the mood and to talk about anything but me and my non-existent love life…which, as far as I was concerned, died right along with Rebecca in that car crash. And I had no interest in reviving it.

“You’re every bit as single as I am,” I reminded him. “But I have a reason for it. What’s your excuse?”

His lips parted to say something smart ass back as I swung open my truck's driver’s side door and climbed in. Just before I shut the door, he defended, “I can’t help it if every woman in this town wants me. It’d be selfish of me to put all my attention on one of them when there’s enough to go around.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “One day, you’re going to regret not committing to someone who will still love you when you’re old.”

“If that’s how you feel, it seems like you should consider what I said,” he shot back.

I slammed the door, tossed my hat off into the passenger’s seat, and put the truck in gear, waving to my brother as I drove off.

Keith probably didn’t realize there was no need to hound me about moving on because everyone in town was already doing it. I was getting it from all angles these days. It was like everyone decided my mourning period had an expiration date that had passed, but I never got the memo.

I saw everyone’s impatience with me written all over their faces every day in the pick-up line at Em’s school. Ever since it happened, the moms and the teachers looked at me differently, treated me weird.

It didn’t help that I was the only dad who dropped their kid off every morning and picked them up every afternoon. And every single one of those moms was chattering about me for one reason or another.

The married ones pitied me. The single ones gawked and giggled, always baking me casseroles and pies…most of which I politely thanked them for, then threw out on the back porch for the possums and raccoons when I got home. By now, every critter within a hundred miles came to feast on my property, and they had plumped up into some of the fattest fur balls I’d ever seen.

But my stress and annoyance with all their prying eyes would always fade the moment Em came running through those front doors of the school with wide excited eyes and a big smile. She was a spirited girl, like her mom. And cheerful too. Every afternoon she couldn’t wait to tell me about her day, which, despite everything we’d been through, was always the best day of her life, from the way she told it.

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