Page 119 of A Ryan Recollection

“I won’t,” I say, resisting the urge to roll my eyes because I know he’s just being protective. And let’s face it, he kind of has good reason to be.

A few seconds later, I push open the huge steel door and see Shane pacing the alleyway, running his hands through his thick hair. I turn and give a thumbs up to Conor to let him know I’m okay before I step out into the cool night air.

“Shane,” I say, stopping him in his tracks.

“Go back inside, Jessie,” he hisses through gritted teeth.

“Only if you’re coming with me,” I reply as I walk over to him, standing so close that I can smell his expensive cologne as I stare into his dark green eyes and they burn into mine.

“I said go back inside,” he growls.

I stand my ground. “No.”

He glares at me like I’m his enemy rather than his wife before he spins me around until I’m facing the wall. His hand fists in my hair as he holds my head still and presses me against the cool damp bricks. “I’m not fucking playing, Jessie,” he growls and his words roll through my body.

“What are you gonna do, Shane? Fuck me in this alleyway?” I challenge him as I push my ass back against his groin. “Because if that’s what it’s gonna take, then go ahead.”

His fingers thread through my hair and he tugs my head back causing a sharp pain in my scalp that makes me gasp in a breath.

“I’m warning you, Jessie,” he growls.

I smile even as he keeps pinned to the wall. “You know I’m not even a little bit scared of you though. So, what exactly are you warning me about?”

He presses his lips against my ear. “Not scared of me?” he hisses. “Yet you want out of this life with me?”

His words are like a knife twisting in my heart. “I never said that, Shane. I never said anything about wanting away from you.”

“No?” he asks as his free hand slides down my thigh until his fingers reach the edge of my dress. “Cause it kinda sounded like you did.”

“I didn’t,” I whisper, heat coiling around my spine as his hand snakes further up my dress and between my thighs.

“When you question this life, Jessie, you question me. This is who I am.”

“This is what you do, not who you are.”

“Same damn thing,” he growls.

“No, it’s not,” I insist.

He rubs his jaw over the delicate skin of my neck, making me shiver as his fingers brush my panties. “Do you regret not accepting my offer now?”

“What offer?”

He tugs my panties to the side and I moan softly as his fingers brush my wet folds. “My offer to marry Conor and live a normal life?”

I suck in a stuttered breath. He may as well have just slapped me in the face. “Shane! How could you even ask me that?”

“Really? The woman who just told me she wants no part of this life. My life,” he growls as he slides a finger inside me.

“Fuck you!” I hiss.

“You think I would ever let you leave me?” He thrusts his finger harder and my walls squeeze around him.

“I never said that, Shane,” I breathe. God, he’s so blind sometimes. “Stop putting words into my mouth. I said that I was worried about this always being the way things are for us.”

He goes to argue but I cut him off.

“All of us. Because in case you hadn’t noticed, there is no us without you. There is no me without you,” my words catch on a sob in my throat.

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