“Because I have a child and a father at home who will notice if I stay out all night.”
“So don’t stay all night,” he said with a shrug, kissing her skin again and then, disastrously for Cassidy’s good intentions, moving lower, towards her sex. “Just stay a little longer.” And as he began to pleasure her in a way she hadn’t experienced in so very long, her plans to leave were obliterated. She dug her fingers into the pillows behind her and promised herself she’d leave soon…
Leonardo hadn’t keptmany photos of Cassidy on his phone after they’d broken up. He’d told himself it was a respect thing, because a few of his team mates had had their data hacked and photos accessed, and he didn’t want to subject Cassidy to the risk of that, especially as she’d moved on and gotten married to a politician. But mainly, it was because it hurt like a mother to look at her. To see Cassidy was to be reminded of what an asshole he’d been, to have it wiped in his face what he’d had, and willfully destroyed.
He'd drawn a line in the sand. He’d had too. She’d moved on and was happy, so what point was there in being forced to relive the worst night of his life, by looking back at the happiest days that had preceded it?
But he’d saved a few. There were some pictures that were too special to be deleted, or relegated to a dusty memory card in his desk. Leonardo stared at one of them now, his eyes all but burning holes in his phone as he looked at Cassidy as she’d been then.
Taken on their first holiday together, to Ibiza, when he’d just been signed to a premier league team. It was a big deal. It had seemed like a big deal, anyway. Cassidy had needed to get a passport for the trip; she’d never been overseas. They’d chosen Ibiza because everyone had said it was the place to go, but once they got there, they’d found little interest in the nightlife. Their own nightlife was the beginning and end of the excitement they sought. The days they spent by the beach, and in this picture, Cassidy was standing on the edge of the ocean wearing a white bikini, her dark hair dripping wet and separated into clumps around her beautiful, smiling face, her teeth so white, her eyes so wide, her natural beauty breathtaking. She held a bright red piece of watermelon and was lifting it towards her mouth, but laughing at the same time, at something he’d said. He could still remember the way she’d sounded, so happy in the sunshine, with the sea water lapping at her feet.
He’d already known he was in love with her, but in that moment, he’d known he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He couldn’t have imagined ever doing anything to mess it up. Ever doing anything to hurt her, to make her cry.
But he had.
A familiar form of grief and regret moved through him, almost choking him with its intensity. Six years had passed but he could still remember every detail of that night. His best friend had counselled him not to tell her.What good comes from that?Maybe he’d been right. But for Leonardo, he could never lie to Cassidy. He could never move forward in the relationship without that honesty, and without her forgiveness. He’d wanted her absolution, so he’d broken her heart. And she’d never forgiven him. She probably never would.
But even now, six years later, if there was one thing Leonardo wanted, one Christmas miracle he would seek above all others, it was that Cassidy and he could be…friends again. He just wanted to make her smile like she had in that picture. To know he hadn’t destroyed something beautiful and fragile. Was that too much to ask?
Five
“OKAY, I LOVE YOUR enthusiasm, but Audie?” Cassidy paused mid-lecture to stifle a laugh. Audrey’s big brown eyes met her mother’s with wide-eyed innocence. After the day she’d had, Cassidy desperately needed this moment of light-heartedness. Because her heart was anythingbutlight. The email from Grant had her breaking out in a cold sweat, an immediate panic-response flooding her veins, making her want to vomit. “How are we going to have enough to build a house if you keep eating all the dough?”
Audrey shrugged her non-concern and reached for more of the sticky mixture. “Do we need a house?”
Cassidy shook her head at the little girl’s simple solution. “We did tell grandpa we’d make one…”
“A small house,” Audrey said with another shrug.
“Oh, darling, you’re going to get a tummy ache,” Cassidy changed tack. “And you won’t be able to eat any dinner.”
Audrey’s eyes flicked to her mother’s face. “Cheese pasta?”
“Your favourite,” Cassidy agreed, glad it was almost dinner time, and that after that, Audrey would be in bed. Cassidy needed to think. To work out how to respond to the email, to deal with her ex-husband and his unfathomable request. Then again, wasn’t it so like Grant to put his own needs ahead of anyone else’s, even their daughter’s? As if this all wasn’t confusing enough for the little girl.
“Okay.” Audrey’s eyes flicked to Cassidy’s then away again, and while Cassidy was busy dusting the benches, ready to roll out the dough, Audrey lifted a tiny bit more of the gingerbread towards her lips, hesitated, then wiped it on her apron. Cassidy’s heart lifted.
Single parenting was hard.
Even though she’d only left Grant earlier that year, she’d been solo parenting for what felt like forever. Grant wasn’t really the paternal type, thank God. Cassidy couldn’t bear to think how much harder this would have been, had he contested custody or fought to have a role in Audrey’s life.
They listened to Christmas carols whilst rolling and cutting the gingerbread pieces, and once they were in the oven, Cassidy made hot chocolates with lots of whipped cream on top. “Here you go, lovely. Let’s go—,” she broke off mid-sentence when the doorbell rang. Holding back a sigh—just—she plastered a bright smile on her face. What Cassidy wanted was for everyone to go away. She was exhausted. Mentally and physically drained, she wanted to curl up in bed and close her eyes, shutting out the whole world. The last thing she needed was a visit from a solicitous neighbour, checking in on her.
It was lovely, how supportive everyone had been since she’d moved back home, but today had beena day.
“I’ll be right back,” she said to Audrey, untying her apron and hanging it on a hook in the kitchen.
In the foyer, she wrenched open the door, and the smile on her lips faded when she saw Leonardo standing on the other side.
“Hey.” His hands were jammed in the pockets of his jeans, and he wore a padded sports jacket for warmth. It didn’t matter that it was padded, though. Cassidy could visualise every sculpted ridge of his chest as though he were standing there naked.
“What do you want?” Her voice was terse but her heart was racing and there was a warmth spreading through her, just at the sight of him. In truth, it was hard to hold onto her anger after sharing what they had last night.
“What do you think?” He asked, one brow lifted, so charming, so handsome. And she was charmed. Just like every other woman would be when he chose to turn that smile on them. She stiffened her spine.
“I’m in the middle of something.”
“I can see that.” He reached forward and brushed her cheek, the touch slow and deliberate, so she sucked in a sharp breath, heat searing her as he brought his fingers to his lips and tasted whatever had been on her cheek. “Sugar,” he said. “Baking?”