Page 31 of Feverburn

The sickening scent of something burningin my nose and echoes of mannish laughter.

The days I spent hiding in my apartment in the darkness alone.

Cold sweat slicked the back of my neck while I fought for a breath. A fresher trauma flared, recalling Tyler plopping me down from the bathroom wall, dropping me like a child discarding an old toy as he turned to chase Kaylee. The final look at him, his muddy eyes seeing right through me, knowing all my secrets but keeping some of his own.

In mypanic, Carson cupped my face with a worried look. I sucked in a ragged breath, pulling his hands off to shake my head.“I-I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“Why?”He continued to hold me, his large hands now down at my waist, unfazed by my rejection which was low-key fucking hot.

“I’m not ready. I thought I was, but I’m n-not.”I was almost hyperventilating, but I seized his flannel, fisting it on his pecs so he knew I wanted to stay close.

“Okay, it’s okay,”he soothed, rubbing my sides. His honey-sage eyes scanned my face.“I never want to make you uncomfortable. We can take it slower.”Confused, he glanced at my hands,“Or I could give you space.”

I let go of the fabric and hugged his waist. He kissed the top of my head several times and then stroked my hair. In his arms, I felt safe, almost drugged. He was so solid and steady.

“Things are going to get messy if we date. So messy,”I murmured into the soft fibers of his flannel.

“I know. I’m trying to figure that out, too. You live above my store, are new in town, and are close to Kaylee. I realize all this puts you in a tricky situation if you date me.”

I cringed hearing how considerate he was. I couldn’t keep doing this. Not only was I not ready to date, but I also had to talk to Kaylee about this first.

I lifted my head off his chest.“And what do we do about Kaylee and Harley? A part of me wants to tell her, but another doesn’t.”My lips pulled to the side in discomfort.“Her and I have been through a lot together. You know the story.”

Come to think of it, the story of Tyler never came up in our conversations, but Kaylee told me the Kouris crew got the whole story. I assumed Carson remembered the details.

“I know you and her were in alovetriangle together in Boston. And the guy who stalked Kaylee up here was the same douche you were dating.”

“Right. On one side, I feel like I can’t move to town and date her man’s brother. She might feel attacked. But I don’t feel rightlyingto her either. Girl code is a real thing.”

“Well, sweetheart, that’s going to be a problem. You’re not the only one with alovetriangle.”

“I know.”

His upper lip curled around his question,“What do you mean you know?”

“Kaylee told me about Whitney.”I rubbed his chest in consolation. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I-I don’t like to talk about it.”He gulped with a slow blink.“About her.”

“I won’t bring it up again.”He stared at me for a few heartbeats. If I had to guess, he feltexposed, maybe a little miffed that I knew about it. I couldn’t change that fact, so I redirected him.“So you’reprivatewith your dating life because of thelovetriangle? You don’t tell Harley much?”

My hands rose and fell with his chest as he gathered a deep breath.“My brother isn’t my biggest fan. They’ll probably assume I’m going to ruin your life. Harley and I have a long story, just like you and Kaylee. But I’m the villain in his.”

“But you hang out with him. You did the mural for Kaylee. They must be okay with you. I don’t understand.”

“We’re trying to repair things but haven’t been okay in years. Thanks to your friend, I’m just now getting him back in my life, but we’re still on shaky ground. I don’t want you to feel like you have to lie to her, but keeping this private would be better.”

“Doesn’t that feel wrong though?”

“Maybe,” he said, tucking some hair behind my ear, “but I’ve always considered other people in the past when it comes to my actions.”

“Like feeling obligated to run the store for your family?”

“For starters. And I’m sick of it. I always get fucked over in the end. So when it comes to you,”his hand held the side of my face, his eyes searching mine,“I don’t know the right answer. I just know I can’t get you off my mind.”

I leaned into his palm, wishing I could suspend my nerves and loyalties to pull him back to my bed without a care. But that wasn’t my reality.

My voice came out as a whisper,“I’m sorry. I don’t think I’m ready. I can’t lie to Kaylee. I can't jeopardize this life I’ve made for myself. It’s all so new. And now all this is making me more unsure. Things happened to me in the past…”

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