Page 94 of Feverburn

Rosie’s face softened.“Yes, I just got back from Pine Mart. I was about to go find you.”

She ushered me into the small room that served as a divination space for Kaylee. In March, before Rosie even got here, I helped Harley build the benches for the room. Now, it seemed like alifetimeago.

A small chandelier and candles on the table lit the space.Silkydrapes hung from the middle of the ceiling like a circus tent, creating a cocoon. Kaylee and Harley sat on one side of the horseshoe-shaped booth. Their body language was anxious but not threatening. Viv sat at the arch of the table. Sliding onto the bench with Rosie, I was across from Harley.

Viv poured Mountain Dew into a titty mug that Kaylee had made her. Then she clutched the box of Cheez-Its to her chest and shoved a hand deep inside for one final crunch. Brushing off the crumbs, she straightened her sweater and cleared her throat.“Welcome to the first annual Smutty Summit. You four are here to talk it out and come to an understanding. I don’t want anyone talking over one another and no name-calling. We are going to rehash this one more time, and then you two,”she pointed between Harley and me,“need to move on because you havewonderfulwomen in your life.”

All our heads bobbed with a nod. Viv’s gaze fixed on Kaylee to her right, silently pressuring her to talk. It worked.“And I’ve had hard talks with Rosie and Harley, so I know this can be civil and healing if we commit to understanding one another.”

“I agree,”Harley said, looking right at me.

“I agree,”Rosie and I echoed in unison. I scooted her closer, my arm around her lower back, her hip filling my hand. I needed her warmth; everything felt so cold.

Kaylee cracked a smile, reaching for the teapot.“Who says growing up on a hippie commune wouldn’t be useful? This peace talk is already going great.”

Rosie jumped in,“This is jasmine flower tea. We are all going to share it as a symbol of unity. And here is a chunk of blue calcite. It works with your throat chakra and helps you stay calm and communicate clearly.”She handed us each a stone about two inches long, shaped like a puffyheart. Its sky-blue surface was shiny in the candlelight.

Both girls looked between us nervously, like we would throw a fit. Harley chuckled,“We grew up with a therapist for a mom who had a Talking Stick we used tobeateach other with. This isn’t new to us. The tea is a nice touch, though.”He raised his mug shaped like a cauldron, urging us to toast.

Viv took the reins back, holding up her titty mug.“To spilling the tea.”

We all took a sip. Viv went on,“Wonderful. Carson, I’dloveto hear about your experience with Whitney. Not your side, because there is no side to take, but rather just your experience.”

I cleared my throat and turned the stone over in my left hand, gazing at it. “All this went down three years ago. Bear’s ex-wife, Kenzie, was friends with Whit. That’s how I met her. We started dating in March. By the time summer was in full swing, we wereexclusive, or so I thought. I didn’t introduce her to my family because she didn’t know if she was staying past the summer season, and I didn’t want her to feel crowded. The summer went on, and we fell inlove. Then she told me she was pregnant in late August, so our plans shifted.”

Viv’s eyebrows lifted with the news of the baby. Bear and her now knowing was freeing butscary. I took a sip of tea as Rosie squeezed my thigh affectionately.

“Like I said, it was her body, her choice. I wasn’t going to drop my support. We both laid down and made that baby. We were waiting to tell our families, but one day, I was fishing and saw Bear approaching me in his boat. By his face, I knew it was bad news.”

I stared ahead at the candle on the table,lostin my memories.“Whit had been acting different. I figured it was the pregnancy, but she seemed stressed, almostfranticthe days prior. I thought maybe she had packed up and left without saying goodbye. But Bear told me she had fallen while rock climbing with Kenzie.”My gaze shifted to Harley,“And that my brother had found her dead body.”

He held my gaze, his whiskey-colored eyes neither mean nor kind, just present in the moment. Rosie squeezed my thigh once more, urging me not to getlost.“The coroner’s office needed her I.D., so Kenzie searched for it in her car and found her phone that had selfies with Harley and some notes he had written to her.”

Harley ran his tongue across his teeth in discomfort while he dashed a look at Kaylee, who nodded in agreement. Apparently, she had heard this part.

“The whole town was gossiping, saying they saw me with her at this place but saw Harley with her at another place. I don’t know why no one told us.”

Harley lowered his chin, urging me to finish the story. “Shortly after, I found him and Dane having a beer at Tilly’s. Just looking at his face made me want tokillhim. I tackled him off the stool, and we brawled, and it took like half the tavern of men to pull us apart. Our mother was horrified we behaved this way. Violence isn’t the answer, but violence saved Kaylee’s ass, so…”I trailed off.

She chimed in,“No judgment here. You didn’t throw punches tonight, so that’s progress.”

Viv took a sip and stared at me.“I’m sorry for your loss. I didn’t know she was pregnant. I get it now.” We shared a loaded moment with things unsaid like old friends could. Breaking our reverie, she turned to my brother.“I’d like to hear from Harley now.”

He sat up straight, sucking in a deep breath.“I dated her the summer I moved back. We didn’t tell anyone because we worked as rangers together. Since she was a seasonal employee, I will admit I didn’t plan a future with her, but I cared about her. We hung out when we could, hiking or climbing. We avoided crowds because we were so sick of tourists, so it was low-key, but we hooked up a lot.”He glanced at me, rubbing his hair roughly with one hand. We had never discussed what had happened. A bitter tang erupted in my mouth as the visual of my brother pumping into her seared my imagination.

He squinted and twirled his stone around on the table.“I got the call and found her.”He swallowed hard and went on looking at Rosie,“I’ve seen a lot of dead people as a ranger, like people half eaten bywildanimals or what’s left over from someone taking their own life, but I promise you, Whitney’s body was truly haunting. It is hard to care for someone, to be intimate with them, and then feel them cold in your arms.”

She reached to cover his hand on the table with hers.“I am so sorry you had to find her.”She placed her other hand on mine.“And I am so sorry youlostso much in silence.”

I could feel her energy permeating me, warm and slow. And as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I could feel Harley’s. It was subtle, but it was as if Rosie was a bridge to my brother. Kaylee placed her hand on top of his and Rosie’s, amping up the feeling even more. I let the concoction seep into my body.

I eyed my baby brother.“I believe that you didn’t know I was dating her. And that Whit made some hurtful choices and was battling something we will never understand.”

“I believe that you didn’t know, either. That your grief runs deeper than I realized. And this happened because we weren’t in a good place and didn’t talk.”

I nodded,“If we take away anything from this, we have to keep talking, even if it hurts.”

Harley’s brow pinched together, his eyes pleading.“Yes, even if it hurts.”

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