Page 45 of Rules Of Our Own

MIA

I pullAlex’s hoodie over my head, grabbing fistfuls of its softness to comfort myself. I know I’m overreacting. It was just one weekend with two guys I hadn’t seen in years. But it felt like more: the way they looked at me, the things we talked about, the hours we spent together spread across their bed.

It’s always felt like more with those two. I still can’t wrap my head around how everything can click into place so perfectly while simultaneously not working out at all. First, I was in university with them fighting, and now, I don’t even know what could’ve happened. Like, are throuples a thing? Would they go for that?

Is it even worth thinking about when neither of them even brought it up? Not to mention, we live in differentcountries.Can’t forget that.

My chin wobbles, and I turn into the curved plastic window, angling my face away from the passenger beside me.

The condensation from my breath fogs up the surface, obscuring my view until I wipe it away with my sleeve, which now clings wetly to my arm.

There are another two hours left of this flight, and I’m going to let myself cry the entire time because when I land, I need to get serious about work and Prosthetics For Kids again. I already took more time off than I’d planned for. More time than I could afford, but I don’t regret it. How could I?

A hand lands gently on my shoulder, and I turn to look at the older woman beside me. She asks with a soft, lilting accent that I can’t quite place. “Are you okay?”

I sniff and do my best to smile. “I’m fine.”

She raises a brow. “Not to be nosey, but you don’t look fine, Honey. Chocolate?”

I take the foil-wrapped chocolate from her and pop it into my mouth. I hum when it melts, instantly flooding my tastebuds.

“Nothing a little chocolate can’t fix,” the woman says cheerily. “I’m Shirley, by the way.”

“Mia. Nice to meet you.

“You too, dear. Now, why don’t you tell me what’s got you all worked up?”

I freeze. “Oh no. I’m fine.”

“You can just cut that out now. I’ve been around entirely too long to fall for that one.”

Shit. I drop my hood to my shoulders and shrug. “I don’t know where to start.”

“Start where it hurts.”

I inhale slowly and let it out. It all hurts. “I fell for my two best friends back in university.”

“Hmm. How did that go?” There’s no hint of judgment in her voice; instead, it’s somehow soothing, encouraging.

I laugh. “Not great. Alex tried to kiss me, and River punched him.”

“Well, that will do it. But that’s not what’s bothering you now?”

I puff out my cheeks and sigh. “No. No, this is a whole other screwup. I kind of ghosted them back then.”

“Ghosted?” Her brows pull together.

“Oh, sorry. I stopped talking to them or seeing them. We call it ghosting because, poof, you’re gone.”

“I like it. I’m going to use that. So, what happened to bring this back up? Did you run into one of them with their family?”

Pain radiates in my chest as I realize that’s a very real future possibility. I swallow hard and smile, processing how I’m now going to explain to this stranger that I slept with two guys? Am I really doing this? “I went to a mutual friend’s wedding, and they were both there.”

She nods along, not interrupting me.

“And, well… Ikindasleptwithbothofthem.”

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

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