Page 16 of Bad Boy Billionaire Protector

“Don’t worry about it.”

She quickly got dressed and I walked her back to her dorm building. We didn’t say much on the walk over there, an unspoken distance coming between us.

When we arrived at the dorm building, I turned to face her. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?” I wasn’t sure I was okay, so I don’t know why I expected her to be.

She looked up at me and gave me a small smile. “I’ll be fine. Thank you.”

We hugged. I didn’t want to let her go. I was still so very attracted to her. But I had to let her go. I watched her as she went into the building and up the stairs. I waited until her dorm light came on before I left.

What had started as a beautiful evening had ended so badly. It wasn’t fair that the one thing I wanted was the one thing I couldn’t have.

Chapter 8 – Amber

Iswitchedonmylight and closed the door, locking it against the outside world. Looking out of my window, I could still see Christos standing and watching the building. I waited, holding my breath. After one last glance back, Christos walked away. My heart felt heavy watching him go. Part of me wanted to open the window and shout down towards him to come up.

Would I see him again? Did Christos think I was just fooling around with him because he happened to be there at the time I started to give myself permission to live after Adam’s death? I know I wasn’t just fooling around. Real feelings were involved. I’d never felt so connected with someone so quickly. I remembered his touch on my skin as he caressed me, the way he looked at me. And, something told me that he was feeling the same way as me.

I’d never expected to have such a connection with anyone again, never mind with a man I just met. But this connection was instant, electric, and somehow inevitable. I mean, how could I not be attracted to this gorgeous man? He was breathtakingly handsome with a sweet protective nature.

Oh, but then there was Adam. He had been handsome too, in a more boyish sort of way. Dirty blonde hair and piercing blue eyes, he had won my heart so easily and I had given myself to him readily. We’d been good together. So good…

But Christos was something else: A true man, someone who had grown into himself and knew just who he was. Someone who was so confident about his place in life. And he was devastatingly sexy with his easy smile and his heavy eyelids with long black eyelashes that framed those electric blue eyes that looked at me with such intensity that I felt like they would burn a hole in my soul.

How was it possible to feel this way about a man after knowing him for such a short time? It wasn’t fair to Adam.

Adam…who was dead. Gone…

I sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind my ears. My head was beginning to pound with all of this thinking, all of these thoughts running through my mind at a million miles per hour. They were racing, racing, racing…

Tears fell down my cheeks as I thought about the unfairness of it all. Why could I not let go of Adam? Why was I clinging onto him so much? He was gone. He had left me. Yes, I had loved him, and I didn’t believe for a second that he’d committed suicide. But I knew that until I found out what had really happened, I could never rest easy or let go of Adam completely.

But then there was Christos. He brought me back to life again. He injected purpose into me and made me feel alive. He made me feel something that felt like happiness, whereas before I felt nothing but pain. Deep down I knew that I should go towards the light with Christos, but in the back of my mind there was Adam again.

I went up to my picture wall and looked at the photos I’d taken of him. It wasn’t fair that he was gone. He’d been taken far too soon. None of it made sense. Nothing that I could do would bring him back to me.

Christos’ face came unbidden into my mind. His aquiline nose and his plump lips. Lips that begged to be kissed. And how he had kissed me. I just about swooned. My panties nearly melted away into nothing. The connection had been so strong, so powerful, that I had wanted to kiss him forever.

Pacing my room, I tried to get Christos out of my head. But whenever I tried to think of Adam, Christos popped back in to say hello and I was struck by his magical energy and his charming smile. I lay down on my bed and tried to concentrate on Adam. I tried imagining him walking at the ocean’s edge, just in the water, his head tipped back in laughter. I tried imagining him in bed with me, him deep inside me and riding me as hard as he could. I tried imagining him kissing me, but all I got was the memory of Christos’ face and lips, and his hands between my legs giving me such exquisite pleasure.

I kicked my legs out in frustration and cursed my brain for betraying me so much. Wondering if my friend Beany was in, I stood up and went to the next dorm room and knocked on her door. I needed some distraction and I knew Beany would be able to distract me from my man-addled brain.

She opened her door and beamed a huge smile. “Hi Amber!”

“Hey girl, is it alright if I come in for a while? I could use the company.”

“Of course. I’m supposed to be studying but I can’t be bothered. Come on in. I have hot chocolate.”

I went inside her room and she closed the door behind me. She had bright, colorful scatter cushions everywhere and a patterned wall hanging across her bed. She’d done a lot more with her room than I had.

Beatrice ‘Beany’ Lermontov had long dark curly hair that seemed to have a life of its own. Her brown eyes twinkled in the light and creased as she laughed. She was a small, slim woman, but was also a bundle of energy and joy. Her cheeks were permanently rosy and she was always wearing something bright and cheerful. Today she had on a bright green sweater with a loud white print, and navy and white striped pants. Large gold hoops dangled from her ears and she also had a nose piercing. Originally from New York, she was loud and full of laughter, able to cast off any negative feelings in an instant.

She was the complete opposite to me, but somehow we got along really well. Perhaps because I needed some of her light in my life. We bonded pretty quickly and it wasn't long after becoming friends that I opened up to her. She knew the whole back story about Adam and me and the circumstances about his death and my theory about The Order.

Beany poured me a mug of hot chocolate and we sat on the floor surrounded by scatter cushions. I grabbed one and stuck it behind me so I had something soft to lean on.

“So, tell me what’s on your mind. Nurse Beany is here to make you feel all better.”

I couldn’t help but smile. All the previous angst I’d been feeling temporarily slid out of my mind.

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