Page 81 of Silver Fake

I park and stare at the hotel, and I can feel my heart sinking because I know John isn't inside waiting to surprise me with an apology or try to convince me to return to him. I grab my phone and stare at the screen, and the lack of notifications, and it occurs to me I haven't gotten the daily text or missed call from him I've grown accustomed to over the last three weeks.

So many times, I thought about answering his calls or texting him back but then convinced myself to stay strong and not do it. I'm sure he's busy with his case in California. But nothing else has stopped him from at least texting meGood Morningevery day until today.

I don't think I realized until right now how much I looked forward to those texts, even though I wasn't ready to text him back. I press my hand to my chest as a steady ache starts to settle in, and with it, a dread I didn't consider beforehand.

What if this is him finally giving up? Giving in and deciding to walk away and give me the space my silence signaled I wanted from him.

I hope not.

My eyes start to water, and I know if I don't change my thought trajectory, I'm going to turn into a crying mess any minute now. The last thing I want is to walk inside for lunch with Nancy with tear streaks and smudged mascara running down my cheeks. That might make it difficult to convince her I'm doing fine. I know she will ask. She wouldn't be here if she didn't try to check on me.

I don't know if John told them exactly what happened, but they must know we aren't together anymore since they were staying with him in Houston the day everything happened. He probably didn't give them the details, and I won't share that either. Knowing Nancy, she won't put me on the spot like that, so I'm sure I don't have to worry about that.

I flip the visor down and check my face in the mirror, tapping my fingers lightly under my eyes to ensure no stray bits of mascara to smudge. "Pull yourself together," I say to my reflection.

With one more deep breath, I turn off the car and head inside. A sign hanging above the entrance as I head in says "New Management," but that's expected. They couldn't keep running this place on their own with Wyatt gone and them spending so much time at treatments for Nancy. Not to mention the days the treatments make her sick in between.

I expected the place to feel different, but I smile as I step inside and see guests heading upstairs with smiles on their faces. I'm greeted immediately by someone just on the other side of the doors for the entrance.

"Hi, I'm here …"

"She's here to see me," Nancy says before I finish my sentence. She walks around the corner with a bright smile and holds her arms out like she's waiting for a hug.

"Hey," I say, smiling back as I close the space between us and hug her.

Maybe it's strange because I've only known her for a couple of months, but I missed her these last few weeks. Maybe it was the concern that I may never see her or Bill again if John and I never work things out that made me miss her so much. But now that I'm here and she's hugging me like I'm her own daughter, and nothing has changed since the last time we saw each other, I know that I will stay in touch no matter how things turn out with John.

Nancy pulls back, holding my shoulders and me at arm's length, and her eyes look me over. "You look beautiful," she says.

I feel the heat of my blush as I smile back at her. "So do you."

She laughs, waving her hand dismissively. "You're too kind. These treatments have me looking worn out these days, but as long as they do what they're supposed to and I come out better on the other end of this, it doesn't matter."

"Well, I still think you look beautiful," I say. "But I agree. We'll all be glad when you're on the other side of this thing and don't have to deal with treatment anymore."

"Thank you, honey," she says, putting her arm around my shoulders. "I knew you were one of the good ones the first time I laid eyes on you."

We both laugh as we make our way through the lobby to the door that leads into the Shore Kitchen. She leads me straight out to the balcony where we first met when she and Bill found John and I sharing lunch, and I went along when he told them I was his girlfriend.

It's a memory that makes me feel a combination of happiness and sadness.

It was the beginning of a whirlwind between John and me, and if not for that day, I might not have gotten to know his amazing mom and dad. No matter what, I will always be glad to have met them.

We order our food, and I can't help but notice that Nancy just orders soup and toast. The chemo treatments are messing with her appetite.

"How are you feeling?" I ask her, worried she may be keeping this lunch date with me out of obligation when she might be feeling sick.

She smiles and lays her hand over mine on the table. "Today is a good day. And I won't lie, after every treatment, I have a few awful days. I stay home, and Bill takes care of me those days. But even on my good days, it seems I've lost my appetite, and the foods I love don't taste the same anymore. The doctor says it's normal and should go away after a while once I finish my final treatment."

"I'm glad today is a good day."

"Me too. How about you? I know you made a change at work. Anything new on the horizon, or are you just enjoying your time off."

So John did tell them I quit.

I knew he would tell them we broke up because he had to explain why I stopped coming around while they were staying at his place. But I wasn't sure if he'd give any other details, like the fact that I quit the firm after our fight. Clearly, they know about that, too. I don't mind, though. It's obvious from how Nancy looks at me and the kindness in her voice that she isn't judging me.

"I've been taking it easy, honestly. I've looked at the possibility of finding jobs in my field elsewhere, but I'm beginning to think I'm ready for a bigger change. Being a secretary was never my dream. I enjoyed the work I did most days, so I'll never regret the years I spent at the firm. But I think I want to find something different. Maybe something that brings me joy instead of just a job that pays the bills."

---