Page 69 of Silver Fake

CHAPTER23

Lisa

Helpingout John's parents is rewarding.

Even facing cancer, Nancy is such a joy. Just being near her is like being near the sun.

I've never known anyone like her, so full of kindness and love. And watching Bill fawn over her like she's his favorite thing in the world makes me smile. I hope John and I are like that when we're their age.

I pour myself a small glass of wine. Then I sit the bottle back down on the counter and stare at my glass for just a second before I pick it up and fill it full.

As much as I love helping Nancy and Bill, today has been a long day, and I'm glad to be home. I decide I deserve a full glass of wine, not just the few sips you get in aproperlypoured glass.

Grabbing my glass, careful not to spill it, I pick up my pretzels with my free hand and saunter to the couch.

I've been staying at John's condo almost every night for the last month, and it feels a little weird being back at my place alone. But I wanted to give him and his parents some space while they were here so they could visit.

I know he doesn't get to make it to Barton Beach to visit them nearly enough because his job is so taxing. I’m hoping they will at least be able to have some quality time together while his parents are here for Nancy's treatments.

I should do a million other things since I haven't been home in weeks, but I don't have the mental strength to deal with anything. Driving Nancy and Bill to all of Nancy's appointments today and watching her be poked and prodded so they could set up her port to dump poison into her veins took up everything in me today.

I feel horrible for feeling so drained.

All I did was drive Nancy to her appointments. She's the one with cancer facing weeks of chemo and radiation and all the horrible side effects that come with it, and she's doing her best to smile through everything.

I'm glad I could go instead of John.

It was hard seeing everything Nancy is going through. And I know it would have been at least ten times harder on him. I've never seen him so upset as he was the night his parents told us. It makes my chest ache, thinking about how he silently shook from crying while I held him in my arms.

A tear slides down my cheek, and I wipe it away. I need something to distract me. I grab the remote and flip on the TV, turning on some new comedy on Netflix. I need something to keep my mind off anything sad right now, and comedy seems the perfect option.

I'm already laughing only fifteen minutes in, so I know I made the right decision. I pop a pretzel in my mouth, then nearly choke laughing.

Before I can get it together, the sound of my doorbell ringing echoes through the room. I don't have time to stand up from the couch before the bell rings again.

"I'm coming!" I yell.

But whoever it is either can't hear me or is so impatient they don't care. Before I can make it seven feet to the door, the bells rings twice.

I get to the door and snatch it open. "What the hell do you…"

My words trail off as John comes into view.

John is standing on my doorstep looking lost and disheveled. His hair sticks out in every direction, and his eyes are red-rimmed. Instinctively, I try to wrap my arms around him.

But he shrugs me off and pushes past me into my apartment without a word. He starts pacing around my kitchen, running his hands through his hair.

My stomach twists in knots.

I've never seen John look this upset. Even when his parents first told us about Nancy's cancer, he had tears in his eyes but didn't look as angry as he does now.

"John, what's wrong?" I ask softly.

He stops pacing and turns to me, his hands balled into fists at his sides.

"What's wrong?" He gives a humorless laugh. "Now, isn't that the question of the hour."

"John..." I start.

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