Page 56 of My Mafia Queen

“He hadn’t touched us. But the fear was just the same.”

I feel worse now that I’m saying all these things. I never thought I’d share them with a stranger.

Jen knows most of my story.

My aunt also knows our story, although I couldn’t go into details with her.

And Beau Anthony must’ve heard some stories and figured out the rest on his own.

This kind of story is not uncommon where I live. And how I interact with men is the result of my terrifying relationship with my father.

A few moments pass before I shift my eyes to him, slightly nervous as the car slows down.

“What are we doing?” I ask when we come to a stop on the side of the road.

There’s no light around us when he turns off the engine, only the bluish moonlight glowing over our faces.

He takes a long drag on his cigarette and puts it out before reaching inside the glove department and pulling out a roll of mints. He offers me one and takes one himself, and then he looks away.

Seeing him so calm puts me at ease.

He pushes his chair back and makes room for me while I wonder what he has in mind.

His arm loops around me, offering me some support while I rest my head on his shoulder.

He shifts in his seat so I can fit next to him, and never in my life would I have thought this could feel like this.

Lifting your head above the water must feel like this.

A warm breeze after a long winter must feel like this.

Reaching the end of a dangerous road must feel like this.

And starting something new and feeling in your gut it’s the right thing to do must feel just like this.

He rests his hand on my hair while I splay my fingers over his abdomen, my nostrils filled with the scent of his clean, pressed shirt, faint smoke, and fresh mint and aftershave.

“I want you to do something for me, Carmina…” he says quietly while the sky stares at us. “I want you to always tell me the truth. No matter how stupid it seems or painful.”

His fingers slowly move as he strokes my hair and continues.

“There is no room for errors in the world I live in. And lying is the dumbest mistake someone can make with me. My men know that. My enemies know that, although they lie to me all the time. My men do their best not to lie. I want you to never lie to me. Even when you think you can’t say something to me, you still need to tell me that thing. We can do great things together, but you must not be afraid of me. Do you understand?”

I nod against his chest, a lump forming in my throat.

10

DAMASO

I don’t thinkI’ve ever felt more responsible for another soul since I fell in love with that girl in Italy when I was seventeen.

So many things have happened since that summer, and I thought that boy was forever gone.

He perished in time, I believed.

His heart was broken, and that was the end of him.

People wither away when their souls don’t make it. And I thought my soul didn’t make it, either.

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