Page 13 of My Mafia Queen

How could I leave him? How could I not leave him?

I wanted to spend the night with him.

I wanted to have that physical connection with him.

Regardless of what happened in the aftermath.

I thought about the regrets, the addiction to his body, and how powerless it would make me feel.

I thought it would be impossible to reverse things.

And I was afraid that if I did that, I’d want to stay another day. And then another night. And that would take my mind off the most important things in my life, which weren’t him.

I don’t think so.

And the idea of him giving me a ride?

Huh…

How could’ve that been different?

How would’ve made me tear away from him?

It’s hard to stay away from him even now as I’m heading to LA.

He’s going to be mad. I know he will.

I am mad that the situation is the way it is.

I couldn’t just have him inside me and then leave like nothing happened.

And my fears?

I’m past the moments of fear.

I don’t have any fear left in me.

Regardless of how tense and dark my moments with him are, they can never put that deep, crippling fear in me.

Once I’ve accepted my fate, everything else has fallen into place.

The city gets closer as my car eats up miles, and my thoughts become less cohesive, swallowed up by my feelings.

This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

And I’ve done a lot.

3

CARMINA

“Tin-tin,”I say, opening my arms while my sister flicks her head to me, not believing her eyes.

“Car?? What are you doing here?” she murmurs incredulously, pushing her chair back and rising from her seat.

The kitchen smells like pancakes, maple syrup, bacon, and eggs.

Oh, I love this smell.

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