Page 80 of More Than I Can Bear

“There’ll be plenty of them if you decide to accept the bond,” Kaine said. “Either a whole lot of scrambled eggs on toast or I order in.”

“I can cook,” I said, then instantly regretted it as each man groaned.

“Of course you can,” Kaine muttered. “You’re perfect for us.”

“But I don’t want you stuck in the kitchen or anything,” Adam continued, grabbing my hand. “And if you are, I’ll be right there with you.”

“You know he can’t even heat water without leaving it to boil dry,” Kaine supplied helpfully.

“Peeling spuds or chopping up carrots.” Adam leaned in closer. “Whatever you need. That’s what I dream of. I got into footy…” I think we all drew in a breath then, but he forged on, “for that feeling of connection, of being a part of something bigger than myself. That’s what I want.” There was something of a challenge in his gaze as he regarded the other men. “To be connected, to be a real sleuth.”

“And Kaine?” I asked. “Is that what you want? To make art and be a part of a family?”

“No.” His reply was blunt and that made me blink, but before I could respond, he explained. “I’m terrible at art. I’m fairly sure my old art teacher found a way for me to switch electives in middle school so as to get me out of her class. I don’t understand it, the need to make it or the process that goes into it. In the end I just see something beautiful…” He stared at me. “Or not. I’m that guy in a gallery, wondering if the painting someone put their heart and soul into will work with the existing colour scheme we have in the display home we’re building. Art for me is an investment not a spiritual thing, but…”

He leaned in and the cool businessman facade seemed to fracture.

“In some ways I’m very similar to my brother. Our mum and dads, they love each other dearly and while watching your parents fall in love more each day was gag-worthy when we were kids, it’s engendered something in the both of us.”

Kaine stared into my eyes.

“I watch my dads and to the world they seem like big burly blokes who run a very successful company. They can mix it with politicians and CEOs and shout down unruly subcontractors who think they can come onto our building sites and throw their weight around. But despite all of that, those men are mush when it comes to my mother.”

He sucked in a breath andI felt like I saw the real Kaine.

“Back when we were kids, Mum was on a DIY kick, painting walls weird colours and calling them feature walls.”

“God, remember that suede effect paint she used?” Adam groaned. “That was a bitch to sand off afterwards.”

“She put up these little friezes of wallpaper, then hated that. Textured tiles, then hated that.” I smiled as Kaine recited a litany of his mother’s questionable decor choices. “But whatever she wanted, my dads were right there, enabling her the whole way. They knew she’d dislike the results years, maybe only months, down the track, but they never said a word. That.” One finger stabbed into the table. “That’s what I want. My dads don’t understand a fucking thing about interior decoration. They employ arty types to sort that out once the house is designed and signed off, but despite that fact, they work with her through every change, because when she’s finished she’s pleased as punch, if only for a little while and that’s all they need.”

His brows creased slightly.

“It’s what I need. To make my family happy. To look after them and keep them secure. To protect them from the shit of the world—”

“But not all of it.” Adam stared his brother down. “You literally can’t, you know that, right?”

“I can try,” Kaine growled.

“And you’ll fail every time, because that’s the thing.” Something real was playing out between the two of them, and River and I were on the side lines, watching. “Our dads? They work together. Kenny gets her to visualise what she wants on like Pinterest or whatever, especially after that fairy light debacle.”

“Fairy light debacle…?” I whispered but River shook his head.

“One of the others gets her to come and grab paint swatches and wall paper samples, creating a vision board, helping her to make a clear plan for what she’s proposing and—”

“Then Barry makes sure it all gets done, even when she loses interest.” Kaine blinked as he regarded his brother. “They all make sure that what she wants happens.”

“They succeed as a sleuth,” Adam corrected, “not despite it.”

Kaine’s eyes narrowed.

“You’d need to start running some of those dumb arse decisions past me before you make them, brother.”

“Right back atcha.” Adam’s reply was sharp, but his gesture wasn’t, as he reached across the table and offered his hand to Kaine. “Making decisions as a team? I’m the one with the most experience in that regard.”

Kaine snorted, eyeing his brother’s hand.

“You do what your coach tells you to.”

---