Page 75 of More Than I Can Bear

Fuck, I—

Fuck.

I tried to rally, pull shit back from the cliff I’d just stepped over, but it didn’t work. I’d tripped over my own tongue, buggered things up again, and I had to own that.

“Not love, love, because feeling like that after one fucking night would make me a raging psycho, and I don’t want you thinking that when…” I grabbed her hand again, needing the feel of her right now. “When all I can think about is you, Freya. Your smile, your scent, the way your skin feels against mine. That weird feeling of warmth every time we touch.”

“God, I thought that was just me,” she gasped.

“No, I’m right there with you.” I stared into her eyes, willing her to see it. “I knew one day a woman would come from nowhere and knock me for six and I was still not prepared for the way you make me feel.” I held her hands like an injured bird, cradled them inside mine. “I’ve wanted to find my mate from way before I started playing footy. I’ve heard the stories from the old fellas and knew my time would come.”

“Adam—” she said, a pained look on her face.

“You didn’t grow up in the community, so you don’t know. Bear shifters grow up knowing they need to make the necessary sacrifices to make their mate happy. Before I thought you didn’t want me, so I was willing to step back and let things progress with Kaine and River, but…” I searched her face, looking for signs of what I knew to be true. “I know I fucked up. I should’ve held back, paced myself, thought more about the consequences but…” My eyes bore into hers. “I think I knew. I felt you slipping through my fingers the moment I met you and part of me…” I shook my head. “Part of me just wanted to hold on regardless.”

I forced my hands down, my back straight and against the chair.

“And if that means you don’t want to be around me, I’ll accept that. I won’t be a creepy stalker. That’s wolf shifters.”

“There’s wolf shifters as well?” she asked with a snort.

“A whole bunch of weird fucking people who have more than one soul and just one soul mate,” I replied, soaking her in, like this was the last time I’d see her. “And all they want to do is spend their lives looking after them.” I let my eyes slide down her whole body. “That’s all I wanna do, is look after you.”

“But football—” she said.

“If you’re willing to let me make it up to you, then I’ll quit, Freya.” I threw up my hands. “Don’t let that shit hold you back. Just tell me…” I wanted to get close to her, let her scent wash over me, but I didn’t. I couldn’t do anything other than lay shit on the line. “Just tell me I’m not alone out here, aching for you, that I’m not the only one that feels like this is for forever, if we just take that first step.”

When her eyes filled with tears, I moved then, falling down on my knees before her, ready to hold her close, soothe her through this, but her hands went to my hair, stroking it over and over. I remembered her doing that on the night we met. The bear and I, we’d loved every fucking minute of it. But it didn’t hurt then as much as it did right now, the ache building, building, in my chest, feeling like my sternum would crack open at any point from the weight of this.

“You’re not,” she croaked out, a single tear sliding down her cheek and my hand was there to brush it away before it fell free. “I wish you were, but you’re not. You…” She shot Kaine a sidelong look. “All of you, you get under my skin so damn easy.”

“That’s what mates do, baby, and we haven’t even been on our A game. So, you’re in?”

I sucked in a breath and held it, staying perfectly still, right up until the moment she nodded, then I surged forward.

I wanted to kiss her stupid, make those bee-stung lips even more swollen. I wanted to pick her up and set her on the edge of the desk, stepping between her legs. I wanted to grind all of my hardness into her softness, but instead I just brushed my lips across her ear.

“You’ve seen all the shit stuff about being with me,” I whispered. “Lemme show you the good. I’ll take you out on a date tonight.”

“We’lltake you out on a date,” Kaine corrected.

She flushed bright red then, looking at the two of us before nodding.

“OK, let’s see where this goes then,” she said and those were the sweetest words I’d ever heard.

Chapter38

River

“So, we’re doing this?” I frowned as I stood in Kaine’s office at the end of the day, Kaine looking smug and Adam like he’d been hit by a truck. “You’re sure Freya said she was on board with exploring things?”

“Heard it myself,” Kaine said, spinning a pen between his fingers. “Problem is, we need to organise something for tonight. A date that shows her that we’re serious about her becoming our mate.”

“Somewhere we can spend some time getting to know her,” Adam added.

Don’t need that, I thought to myself.I know her.

It didn’t make sense, feeling that way, but that sense of her persisted. It was like I could feel her presence beside me, anticipate how she’d respond if she was here right now. With a snort and then a giggle, I’m sure, at the fact that we were making such a fuss over her, worried about what she would think, then an easy smile when she realised that we had gone all out.

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